How to start a new life and change yourself: advice from a psychologist. How to start a new life from scratch? Life after 35 is just beginning

10 reasons that make women save on themselves

We can immediately make a wish-list of our desired items - branded items, courses of SPA procedures, something beautiful and, in our opinion, expensive in price. But often the wish list is so long only because we constantly deny ourselves that they are fulfilled.

Julia Piliguzova

Probably, you should immediately make a reservation that limiting spiritual impulses is not the best way to bring lightness and happiness into your life. But there are some things that for every woman by the age of 35 will be only pleasant baggage, and not a heavy burden and useless experience.

For most of us, 35 years is a golden age. The careless mistakes of youth are already in the past, in the eyes there is an alluring mystery and the wisdom of life, and any 20-year-old beauty can envy the feline grace and ability to feel her sexuality.

1. Experiment with looks

By the age of 35, it would be good to decide for sure - which hair color is categorically not yours, which one makes you fat, and which one ages. It’s great if your appearance underwent all the harsh experiments at the peak of the hormonal rampage: at the age of 15-18. And at 35, you can shamelessly review photos of a daring youth, where there was a time for a rehydro blonde, and pink curls, and green leggings, and crooked arrows a la smoky eyes at graduation.

2. Break away to the fullest (or not to the fullest)

What could be more attractive than the look of a cat that has had enough of a walk? She knows perfectly well what a full drive is, but now she does not seek to break the chain at every opportunity. And this gives her a special mystery associated with her knowledge of the fullness of life. It's great when a girl at 35 can remember dancing on the bar or on the table, and nightly swimming in the pool, or even in the fountain, and other delights of passionate youth.

3. Get girlfriends

Until the age of 35, you will have a lot of chances to find good, devoted girlfriends - at school, college, at work ... It can even be a sister or mother, and it would be very stupid not to take advantage of these opportunities. If you haven’t made a single girlfriend before the age of 35, this is a rather sad fact. Still, it is sometimes vital for people at any age to share joys or sorrows with someone and trust the innermost.

4. Learn to cook deliciously

If at 20 years old poorly fried meat can be attributed to lack of experience, then at 35 the inability to cook can only be afforded by a well-to-do and insanely busy woman who has the opportunity to have a housekeeper or a personal chef. In all other cases, nothing can justify the inability to cook in these years.

5. Learn to earn

Even if you successfully married a multimillionaire, then learning how to earn at least your own underwear and lipstick will still not be superfluous. In order not to be at the age of 35, in which case, a helpless chick without the strength and possibilities of existence, a woman must be able to be financially independent.

6. Get hurt in love

No matter what anyone says, almost any love suffering in youth is a great experience, and for many even a source of strength and inspiration. Only after going through such a harsh school of relationships can we understand “what is good” and “what is bad”, who can be trusted and who should beware. And often it is thanks to the negative experience in relationships that we can then recognize the true, sincere feeling.

7. Discover your sexuality

If by the age of 35 you have not managed, then you risk living with them all your life. What a 20-year-old cannot do, a 25-year-old is embarrassed to do, a 35-year-old woman must master the technique perfectly. A couple of sex experiments in the erotic collection will not hurt you. And the most important thing at 35 for a woman is to be able to have fun.

8. Patch holes in education

It is useful to read at least according to the program: Anna Karenina, The Master and Margarita, The Idiot, The Brothers Karamazov, and also get acquainted with the work remark, Fitzgerald, Oscar Wilde… You can continue the list yourself. It would be nice to improve your knowledge of history. It will not be superfluous for sure, but to show off erudition and better understand the world order will help for sure.

9. Have a hobby

Self-realization in any of its manifestations is the best way from depression and illness. Someone seriously "gets sick" with raising children, someone with scientific discoveries, parachuting or breeding hamsters. The main thing is to find what brings you pleasure.

10. Buy something crazy expensive

At 35, we are already big enough girls and can afford to fork out for a dream or even a momentary whim. The time of cheap fakes has passed and it's time to buy really worthwhile things: for example, elegant Louboutin shoes, or maybe a ring or earrings from Tiffany.

11. Learn to forgive insults

Holding a grudge against someone is more expensive for yourself. Nerves deteriorate, anger negatively affects mood and health. At 35, it's time to live life to the fullest and breathe deeply, without the stone shackles of resentment hiding in your chest. At this age, you should already have enough intelligence and self-respect to forgive an ex-boyfriend, best friend, or make peace with relatives.

12. Increase self-esteem

No “I’m fat”, “ugly”, “I have short legs”, “sparse hair” and “ungrateful work” ... By the age of 35, it’s time to either learn to accept yourself for who you are, or be able to hide and fight your own imperfections. Fitness clubs, beauty salons, the right clothes and the right attitude towards yourself are an indispensable must-have for any 35-year-old lady.

13. Know the recipe for a cocktail that blows your mind and beware of its consequences.

At 35, you certainly don't have to be a chaste and innocent sheep. But to be able to drink alcohol so that in the morning you are not ashamed of your behavior is simply a must.

14. Find your hairdresser and gynecologist

These are two guardians of women's health. The first is psychological (the manipulations of a hairdresser are sometimes much more effective than talking with a psychologist), and the second is physical (the head physician, after all, is for women, who must definitely suit you in all respects).

15. Learn and make small talk

If sudden outbursts of anger and harsh statements about loved ones, friends, loved ones in adolescence can still be somehow attributed to intemperance, then, you see, in adulthood, a self-respecting lady should be able to control herself, be diplomatic in different situations. In addition, a woman must master the techniques of making small talk - who knows in what circles and societies she will have to communicate.

In general, the list of what a woman should already have time to do by this wonderful period of life can be endless. Each of us has our own strict criteria and evaluations of ourselves. The main thing is that they are.

Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov's blog! To inspire you to achieve and show that it's never too late to start doing something different and unfamiliar, I want to tell the stories of people who have changed their lives dramatically and irrevocably.

Ruth Flowers

Quiet life in retirement

Who can think that at the age of 70 it is possible not only to change life drastically, but also to achieve success and recognition? Usually, after retirement, people lead a quiet life, nurse their grandchildren and grow a garden. But Ruth Flowers wanted to prove that she was still capable of much at her age.

At the age of 58, having lost her beloved husband, Ruth tried to cope with depression, and in order not to live through loneliness and longing, she decided to take up photography. She worked as a music teacher and lectured on the work of Charles Dickens. She lived calmly and measuredly, until one day her grandson invited her to his birthday party, which was celebrated in a nightclub. Surprisingly, Ruth agreed, although at that time she was already 68 years old.

New purpose in life

Going to the disco turned out to be difficult, which played a significant role in the future - the security guard remarked skeptically that grandmother had no place in such establishments. And instead of turning back, Flowers considered the remark a challenge, answering that if she wanted, she could still become a DJ there. And so that the words would not be thrown to the wind, granny met Orel Simon, a young producer, a couple of days later.

Explaining that she is not satisfied with the attitude of others towards the elderly, believing that they should only sit at home and worry about their health, not visiting places where they can relax, and that she wants to prove to everyone that the old people know how to have fun just as much as the younger generation . Eagle supported Flowers, and while she was learning how to mix tracks and make sets, he punched for her the opportunity to perform.

For almost two years, all attempts were unsuccessful, because club managers categorically refused to cooperate with Mami Rock (Ruth took such a pseudonym), as soon as they heard about her age and former lifestyle. The electronic music of a 70-year-old granny, singing in a church choir and a passion for the work of Charles Dickens, in their opinion, was completely incompatible and strange. Unsuccessful attempts to break into the stage deprived them of hope and strength, so much so that Mami Rock was already ready to abandon her idea.

world star

But one case changed everything - Orel managed to enroll his ward in the program of one party in Cannes. The audience was so enthusiastic that within a few weeks, Mami began to pour in a lot of proposals from all over the world, and within a year she became a world star, playing with DJ Tiesto and DJ Guetta, and even releasing her single Still Rocking.

Another example of how a dream can become a reality. Sania Sagitova, having retired, finally decided to do what her soul has always been drawn to - hitchhiking around the world. The desire was so great that the brave woman, having no experience and health for such a lifestyle, visited more than 40 countries, covering more than 120 thousand kilometers, and this is at 55 years old. Not every man dares to sit alone in a car with a stranger. But Sania is absolutely happy at the moment, because she allows herself to do what she wants.

She even passed on the rights, so that in case of poor health of the driver or any breakdown, she could help. Doctors are sounding the alarm, having discovered a lot of diseases in her, and regarding diabetes, they even offer to issue a disability to the traveler. But Sania refuses, joking that what kind of person with disabilities will she be if she hitchhikes around different countries without stopping and restrictions?

And indeed, without restrictions, visas are opened for her with ease, because she always submits documents on her own. At the same time, she puts examples of her reviews and stories about the places she has visited. After reading them, ambassadors sometimes even offer to issue a visa without payment, in exchange for an interesting article about visiting their country.

Sheri was 40, unemployed, raising three children with her husband, and had an outstanding loan. In general, nothing foreshadowed that she would turn into a millionaire, and even so rapidly - literally in a year. And it's all thanks to the routine.

Sheri wanted to bring a little variety and creativity out of boredom into Crocks products by sealing the holes with rhinestones and all sorts of jokes. Fortunately, the family had a lot of such slippers, and there was something to experiment on. Friends appreciated the creative approach, and orders fell on her.

One day, at a family council, the husband offered to organize a website selling accessories for crocs, to which the enterprising woman agreed. And in 2005, a company called Jibbitz appeared. Cheryl at first worked around the clock, managing to make time for the children. She and her husband sold goods not only on the Internet, but also offered them directly in specialized stores.

Deciding that it was pointless to spend time writing a business plan, we decided to act directly and aggressively. They called acquaintances with an offer for shoe design services. But no matter how difficult it was at first, a year and a half later, Crocks bought the rights to this company, bringing income to the Schmelzers in the amount of $ 10 million. And the most interesting thing is that it began with the fact that they simply wanted to close their loan, without even guessing what success they could achieve.

Dani Johnson

Just an amazing story that shows that even in the most difficult situations there is a way out. Dani Johnson was born in Hawaii to a family of drug addicts. Childhood, you guessed it, was difficult, so there were no prospects for a happy future.

At 21, she was a girl of easy virtue, moonlighting as a waitress. She had only 2 dollars in her pocket and 37 thousand debt and lived in a car. She gave birth to a daughter who was raised by other people and, of course, used drugs and alcohol in addition to alcohol.

Once, before Christmas, realizing that it was a dead end and there was no point in going further, Dani decided to drown herself. But at the moment when she was already under water, she heard a voice that told her that there are better things than drugs, and she can spend her life differently if she does not use.

Returning back to the car, she noticed a booklet with an advertisement for a weight loss drug. Deciding that this was a chance, the girl called this company, finding out that in order to sell products, she must have money and a license.

Neither was available, so Dani dialed the telecom company from a phone booth and set up voice mail for $15. She wrote a flyer by hand, where she indicated the mail number, and after 3 hours she had 25 applications. When they accumulated under 40 pieces, Johnson dialed this company back, telling how cool it was to find customers, and that she wanted to receive a percentage for this.

The management agreed to pay her, only bad luck came up with the delivery address of the goods, because she still lived in the car. But even here the girl got out, agreeing with the local liquor store that the delivery would be to his address. And so in the first month she earned $ 4,000, and a year later - $ 250 thousand. Today, Johnson is considered a multimillionaire and the owner of 18 centers that help to cope with excess weight.

And there are other examples when successful people give up material values ​​and go to live where there is no civilization. Almost the same story happened with Heidemarie. As a well-known psychotherapist, she realized around the age of 50 that almost everything in the world comes down to money. Such concepts as “kindness”, “selflessness” and “help” are fading away.

To fix this and help a little to help low-income people, Heidemarie came up with a whole network called "Come on and take it."

Its essence was that you do not pay for something with money, but provide in exchange a service in which you are competent. For example, you got a manicure, and in return you helped to make a competent report to the tax office. As the network began to gain popularity, Heidemarie ventured an experiment where she would stop using money for a whole year.

She canceled her rental agreement, gave away all her belongings, and started a completely new life. Interestingly, the experiment was planned for a year, but from 1996 to this day, Schwermer lives freely and without financial restrictions. At first, she provided psychotherapeutic services in exchange for food, after which she began to guard houses where she could stay overnight.

Despite such an unusual way of life, which many consider abnormal, the woman does not look untidy. She is always with her hair styled and in beautiful clothes, having only a suitcase with a dowry on her back.

Conclusion

It is never too late to start from scratch, following the call of the heart. After all, you have one life, so why not live it in joy, doing what brings pleasure? And the people whose real life situations I cited today as an example prove to us that even at the age of 70 you can master a new type of activity and become successful and famous. So go ahead, listen to yourself and be happy, and remember - better late than never!

The material was prepared by Alina Zhuravina.

2

An engineer who became a Cossack, a lawyer who became a diver, a manager who became a toastmaster, a meat seller who became a travesty dancer, an illustrator who became a fisherman, a man who became a woman, and many others - Afisha found more than two dozen people who managed to radically change profession, environment, gender - and life in general. And wrote down their stories.

Journalist turned sailor

Ksenia Prilepskaya about Greenpeace, Esperanto and two-ton sails

Age: 32 years
Who was: journalist
Who became: sailor

I change my life every spring, well, every couple of years. It is generally accepted that you need to choose one thing, and at the age of seventeen - and immediately until the end of your life. But practice shows that it is possible to achieve some success in different areas without having a specialized education in all, but simply by investing to the fullest. Why not? Many of my classmates still live in the village where I was born and raised. The most active and pushy moved to Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, and one girl, having achieved incredible success, moved to Primorye with her family last year.

In the 90s, while still in school, I saw a Greenpeace ad on TV: brave people in inflatable boats stop whaling ships, and they are brutally watered with water cannons. When I arrived in Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk in September 1998, at the university, the Greenpeace ship was in the port of Korsakovo, and they had an open day. There I also met local ecologists, then I worked for them in a conservation organization, in the state. Greenpeace came, we staged protests against oil production, chained ourselves to the Sakhalin parliament, and saved gray whales. I was not very interested in philology, I still had a year and a half to study, plus I worked on television (and everything was pretty good), but friends had already appeared in Moscow, and I understood that I wanted changes. Mom still cannot forgive me for not graduating from university. But I just put her before the fact: "I'm moving." I needed a job, at that moment I tried to transfer to the Moscow Faculty of Journalism, made up the difference, and one friend, an ecology teacher, introduced me to a Moscow City Duma deputy who needed a press secretary. There was tiny money, surprisingly shameful - I went, worked there for 8 months, until I realized that it was terribly debilitating to me. But I did a good job - my deputy was in second place in terms of citation after the chairman. Then he was elected to the State Duma, and then I did not follow him. Then NATO bombed Yugoslavia, people all over the world protested, and in Moscow a few people came out of us - it was also so shameful. March came, and everything somehow turned out - I wanted to change again.

“We staged protests against oil production, chained ourselves to the Sakhalin parliament, and saved gray whales”

Grishkovets shot that year, he was everywhere, I read the review of Planet, which coincided very much with my experiences, I look at the signature - "Yuri Saprykin", I click on the name, and under the link there is an email. And I write him a big heartfelt letter. To my surprise, he responds pretty quickly. We met for coffee, and Yura offered me a job as an executive secretary at Afisha. The salary was four times more than in the Moscow City Duma. I worked at Afisha for a year, but I had to spend too much time in my position in the editorial office, and I began to think about leaving. I have always been interested in traveling, and I traveled mainly due to the Esperanto language, which I know perfectly and sometimes teach. In the summer after leaving Afisha, I just hitchhiked around Russia and Ukraine. I live very economically - as much money as I have, so much is enough for me. That summer, the Esperanto Youth Summer Conference was in the Moscow region, I was one of the organizers, I met guys from Sweden, one of them was leaving home by train through Finland. I went into the car and thought: “There is nothing holding me here now.” I did not have any documents with me, except for a copy of my Russian passport. We locked ourselves in the compartment and in the morning ended up in Helsinki. I traveled around Sweden with Thomas, taught Esperanto, but then it became clear: either stay illegal, work as a dishwasher, or return to Russia. I wanted to learn how to write in English, so I called all the English-language editorial offices in Moscow, but there was only room in Russia Today. The channel had a strict schedule: morning, evening, night, so many people's health deteriorated sharply after a year. At some point, I felt so bad that I called an ambulance, lay at home for a week, called an ambulance again and realized that I would never go to work again. She quit, went to New York, met a man there and after a while married him.

Last summer my friend invited me to sail a boat. This is a historical two-masted schooner "Pioneer", built in 1885. It goes out to sea with tourists, with schoolchildren or rented out for private events. There are no bars, saloons, sofas, everything is old school: the sails are raised by hand; the largest weighs two tons. It turned out that they have a volunteer program: the team has four employees on a salary, the rest are volunteers. After six hours of training, you can already work on the schooner. Then the season ended, in the winter I was working on a film about Pussy Riot, which received a special jury prize at Sundance, and in February a position suddenly opened up on the ship. Now I work there every day and will soon get my sailor's certificate if all goes well. Next season, I'm already thinking about another ship - everything is pretty clear on this one, and I want to have different aspects of this experience. Not necessarily on a sailboat, you can on a ship that goes on international voyages, or even on a small tugboat - they are so cute. The Pioneer volunteer program is generally legendary; many women have gone through it. And some became captains.

Psychologist turned carpenter

Fedor Smekhov about Moscow State University, vocational schools and severed fingers

Age: 29 years
Who was: psychologist
Who became: carpenter

I successfully graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University with honors and a psychological postgraduate study at the Higher School of Economics, honestly wrote a dissertation and developed business training for one company. But at some point I got stuck - I began to think about what I really want from life. I was then 24 years old. All my life I got high from two things. The first is games, whether they are desktop, computer, role-playing. And the second is beautiful furniture. And I started to work in these directions: I found guys who made computer games, and, having no experience, got a job as a game designer for them. -At the same time, I decided to go to the vocational school of art crafts. When I came to apply, they asked me: “Did you finish 9 classes or 11?” I say: “I actually have a higher education, and I completed graduate school.” By this, I gained a keen interest in my person from the entire admissions committee, and all summer my friends joyfully jiggled me and called me petushnik. At the same time, I found the contacts of one restorer and came to him for advice on where and how best to learn the craft, at the end of the conversation he asked me: “When can you start?” I replied: "Tomorrow." So I never went to vocational school.

"My friends teased me and called me a petist"

When you come to work and have no idea what you have to do, it's terribly driving! The first thing I noticed at my new job was that half of the people there were without fingers (a common occupational injury), at first it was hard to breathe chemicals - varnishes, washes, solvents, but it quickly passed. Of course, my colleagues in the shop laughed at me - they did not understand what a person with “two higher educations” was doing in the carpentry, they confidently considered graduate school to be the second highest. But seeing that I was really interested, they treated me with sympathy. And when I swore at one of the main hard workers, I did deserve universal respect. So during the first half of the day I worked in restoration, and the second half until 11 pm I worked as a game designer. Such a schedule, I must say, is very toned. I noticed that when you live in a relaxed way, you don’t have time for anything, and when you have an endless rush of hands, you suddenly start to do everything. As a result, I realized that my soul lies more in furniture. You know, sometimes you start working and suddenly you don't notice how much time has passed. This is a good criterion. I left the restoration for a carpentry, where they made custom-made furniture. I worked there for two and a half years and realized that in order to develop further, you need to get a professional education as a designer. Now I am entering the British Higher School of Design - immediately in the second year; I quit my job, moonlighting with private orders and doing a curator's test task.

Probably, if I still worked in my specialty, I would be more stable and financially independent. And of course, it is inconvenient that my parents still support me. But I reasoned like this: since you have found your way, put your pride to hell, accept the help with gratitude. Learn - and already, finally, become a specialist. In addition, now I have a favorite excuse - as soon as they tell me that I am an ignoramus or behave unreasonably, I immediately answer: “I don’t know anything, I’m a carpenter.”

Lawyer turned diver

Oksana Chevalier about “losses”, trauma and work in the Ministry of Emergency Situations

Age: 39 years
Who was: lawyer
Who became: lifeguard-diver of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of the Russian Federation

In Kazakhstan, I went in for sports professionally, I played for the acrobatics team. There she graduated from pedagogy and worked at the school. But with the collapse of the Soviet Union, she moved to Moscow, studied law and became a lawyer. I worked for three years, and then my uncle, who has a shipping company, lured me to him, handed me three ships, and I became a logistician. For ten years she traveled around the world, providing ships with cargo, fuel, crew, kept all the documentation. And then she dropped everything and went to the rescuers.

It all started with the fact that in parallel with the shipping company I went to the school of stuntmen "Trick" - from my sports childhood there was a need for constant activity. There I was engaged in parachuting, mountain climbing, shooting, horseback riding, motocross. Boys from the Ministry of Emergency Situations taught us mountaineering there. I began to communicate with them, at their suggestion I went as a volunteer to Spasreserve and Lisa Alert to look for "lost people" - people who got lost in the forest. And soon it became my meaning of life. At any moment in the middle of the night, from the guests and from the dacha - a call, and you break down, rush to the rescue. "Where are you?" Relatives call and ask. "In Ryazan". - "Where are you?" - "In Kursk" ... That's how I lived. And all this time I wanted to devote myself completely to saving people, but I lacked the determination to take and cross everything out. The turn happened when, after an unsuccessful parachute jump, I was severely injured and for a year and a half I was forbidden to play sports. But I had plenty of time to think about my life. I honestly, as promised to the doctors, did nothing, but after a year and a half, exactly the same day, I went and jumped with a parachute. -Anyone can be a logistician, but I want to help people.

“We are the Ministry of Emergency Situations among ourselves so we decipher: courage, honor, compassion”

I was trained at the school of rescuers, passed the exams, received a token and began to look for ways to get into the Ministry of Emergency Situations. At first, the leadership took my candidacy with hostility: “Girl-rescuer? Not!" Then they took it, but only to work with documents. The rescuers categorically did not want to take - "this is not a woman's business." For three years I sat in the office and constantly reminded me that I wanted to be a rescuer. They answered me: "Unlearn to be a navigator." I have unlearned. “Unlearn to be a diver” - I learned that too. As a result, I passed strict sports standards - they are the same for men and women, because when you need to save someone, you will not say to the dying: they say, I'm sorry, I'm a woman, I have different standards. Finally got hired a year ago. Now I am the only woman in Moscow - a lifeguard on the water.

Of course, financially, I went downhill, but how much more I began to receive moral satisfaction from work, there is no comparison. Colleagues were afraid that the girl would weaken the team. But, oddly enough, the boys, on the contrary, unite and, of course, still try to take care of me. The profession itself presupposes the presence of compassion in a person. This is how we and the Ministry of Emergency Situations decipher each other: courage, honor, compassion.

Retired student turned student

Lyubov Praslova about Tashkent in the 90s, sewing and computer science

Age: 62 years old
Who was: factory designer
Who became: student

I am from Tashkent. In the 1990s, I was unemployed for six years. I thought I would always be in demand. But the Soviet Union collapsed, and no one needed me. We weren't paid at the factory. I was engaged in various jobs, even once I went to someone's house to clean, but I was not paid. For the holidays, we had an empty refrigerator - one bell pepper lay and a crust of bread. And the hardest thing was that I could not keep the child in this world. My daughter was already an adult - she studied, worked, fell ill and died. There was no point in staying.

My mom had a hard life too. She said: "Life will teach a snotty man to love - you will wipe and kiss." My parents gave everything to make me successful, but life decided otherwise - everything I put my energy into went to the next world. And then I went to Moscow - to nowhere, with nothing, to no one. I have never seen frost before. I arrived on October 2 - and on the 28th the first snow had already fallen. I was waiting for it to melt, and then - bam! - on it the second layer, the third. I wonder when will it melt? It melted on April 28, 2003.

At first, I moved from apartment to apartment every three months. And when I met a man, he invited me to live with him. But there was one but with which it was necessary to get along. Eleven old cats. Eight are still alive. We cannot lull them. But living with them is very difficult. And most importantly, I thought that the person would be glad that I live with him, but he treats me like a servant.

“Sometimes I open Odnoklassniki, there is an inscription “Do you want to laugh?”. And I watch some videos with kittens, animals and laugh"

All my life I had two hobbies - I sang from the age of 5 and sewed from the age of 13. My mother also sewed. She came to Tashkent in the 1930s, during the war, sewing saved her from starvation - she made clothes for the military. And at the same time, I always worked as a designer at a machine-building plant. And I never learned to sew. Nevertheless, Burda always helped me, I sewed for women with a non-standard figure, even when I lived in Tashkent. When I arrived in Russia, I didn’t sew at all for four years - everything was ready. But then there was a hormonal failure, and I became a non-standard figure. I began to redo my clothes, I suffered because I was not always satisfied with the result. And I began to think about how to get a specialty.

Last year, I read in a magazine that they were recruiting people to the Polytechnic College. Moscow City Council for the profession "Designer, fashion designer, technologist". I called three times and asked: “You definitely don’t have an age limit?” In the USSR, admission to training was up to 47 years. And when they said that they were taking everyone, I decided to take a chance and passed the exams - mathematics, Russian and drawing.

We have classes six days a week. On Saturday the first pair was done at 8.30. Physical Education. I say: "I will come, but you immediately call an ambulance." We also have computer science, but it is clearly opposed to me. She doesn't give in to me. Although Skype, mail and Odnoklassniki I mastered. Sometimes I open Odnoklassniki, there is an inscription “Do you want to laugh?”. And I watch some videos with kittens, animals and laugh. I don't need anything else.

Sometimes my friends ask me why I need it. I say: “Do you have a house? There is. There is a work? There is. Is there a pension? There is. Do you have children? There is. Do you have grandchildren? There is. Now imagine that I have none of this, except for a pension and a job.”

An engineer who became a Cossack

Andrey Sviridov about a homemade truck, bandits and happiness

Age: 52 years old
Who was: engineer
Who became: Cossack

I was not a very good engineer, probably. Otherwise, I would have made a career and lived somehow differently. The dashing 90s came, and I left the Institute for High Energy Physics. Wandered for a long time. I had such a childhood dream — to make a truck. And I found a clumsy pile of iron near the fence, sat with him, suffered, he went and began to bring money. Furniture was transported, potatoes, everything. There were no products, people grew them in gardens and carried them. Then I bought a house in the village, I wanted to create an ideal settlement. If I am no engineer, then there must be some inclinations in me, for some reason I was born into the world, I must be somehow useful.

It was there that I first encountered a horse. It was necessary to plow the garden, but it was hard with tractors - sometimes there was no fuel, sometimes there was no diesel fuel. And the shepherds gave a horse for a bottle of moonshine. And I felt so sorry for her! .. I don’t know how to plow, and I, you see, ran the plow too deep. But she was weak, she had never seen oats in her eyes, and sweat was coming from her like foam. In order to help her, I already carried this plow myself practically. And if I loosen it a little, she immediately groans. So, with grief in half, we plowed the garden. I planted potatoes, they grew. How could I do it? Yes, nowhere. My favorite book as a child was Robinson Crusoe. A man ended up on a desert island and despaired - that's it, life is over. And then he began to stand up. I found a grain, 12 grains came out of a grain. The spikelet has grown, it has 12 grains. He planted them, out of 12 it turned out 24, and it went, and it went. Nobody taught him either. So am I - such a Robinson Crusoe.

“I sat down for the first time, and everything turned me upside down. And this flight, and the warmth of this animal, and these eyes.

My company in Moscow for the transportation of goods and the repair of cars, which grew out of a truck, worked properly. If it was necessary, I myself got behind the wheel, but the drivers are such people - sober today, drunk tomorrow. I myself was engaged in accounting, well, I flunked it safely. The check came, and they liked it so much that they caught me like a mangy kitten. And they closed it. I still tried to somehow look for money, I came to my mother, she received a pension, and said: “Now, mom, the final touch, I’ll buy the last hydraulic booster for KamAZ, and everything will go.” And then everything was covered with a copper basin. Then more bandits ran into me. When I was buying cars, I contacted one entrepreneur, I needed to buy the car urgently, there was no money, and he told me: “I will give you money, and you come to me and work.” Well, I went. And when he worked, he suddenly said to me: “I won’t give you the car. I won't give it up, that's all." He offended me. Well, I did, maybe stupidly, but it's like in battle. If you start thinking, drooling, hiring diplomats, nothing will work. Here it was necessary to act tough, in the style of the time, so I did. He took and took this car from his enterprise. And he hired bandits in response. Only by that time I had already transferred money to his account. Bandits come, they say: "Where is the money?" I told them: “Guys, here are the payments, on such and such a date, through such and such a bank, such and such an amount.” Such bulls stand: “You are for us, this, don’t worry about the brain, where are the grandmothers?”

And so at some point I felt disgusted and ashamed, because I started this bodyagi at all ... I got out of these cases, I gave the bus to this entrepreneur, something else. And everyone gradually got rid of me - the state, and the bandits, and the entrepreneur. And I have all the horses in the subconscious sat. And when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I took my friend, and we went for a ride. I sat down for the first time, and everything turned me upside down. And this flight, and the warmth of this animal, and these eyes. You know, sometimes it's good, but you don't know why. And I went to practice twice a week: at first I didn’t sit like that, and I rode, and the horse put me down more than once. Well, nothing - alive. Then one day I saw how a boy was engaged in horse riding, I liked it - and I began to slowly, slowly learn this skill. Then I got acquainted with the Cossacks, and they called me to their place.

What is the most important thing for a Cossack? Family, home, he grows bread, raises children, raises animals. I am a city dweller and have never experienced this before. Mathematicians, in order to solve an equation, simplify it, bring it to a canonical form. And so it is here. Simple ordinary happiness. It may be petty to listen to when you want to conquer the whole world, but I just want to be a man and do my own thing, plow the land, fish. I want someone to be waiting for me at home just like that, because I tried all day to make the house comfortable. After all, I don’t want to make a career in the Cossacks, I just live like this, I work with children. The Cossacks put a child on a horse from the age of three. And the child was not afraid of a moving animal. They bring very tiny children to me, they sit, look at the horse, and there is fear in their eyes. And I don’t just teach them to ride and horseback riding, but I help get rid of this fear. You can't be afraid.

I have one dream. Complex. I traveled from Siberia for four days, crossed all the great rivers. And then I had an idea - to assemble a team, prepare horses and try to repeat the route of Yermak when he conquered Siberia. Only he did not reach the Pacific Ocean, but we will. We will enter the cities, show the beauty of horse riding, glorify the Cossacks. And there, maybe the youth will follow us. If you believe, you can get there. Can.

Volunteer journalist

Natalya Kiseleva about red nails, dead goats and adrenaline

Age: 30 years
Who was: journalist
Who became: volunteer

My topics in journalism were culture and show business. Red carpet, Cannes, Renata Litvinova's new dress. And I did not go to Krymsk to make a report. Just on TV they showed the roofs of houses sticking out in an endless puddle, and the stream that rushed through the city. I didn't have a second of doubt - to go or not to go. I was subscribed to the fashion blogs of various celebrities, including Natalia Vodianova, on whose Facebook page I saw a message that a bus carrying humanitarian aid to Krymsk could take a dozen volunteers. I remember thinking that, of course, there are a million volunteers - Vodianova! — and that I'm sure I won't get on the bus. In the end, there were only eight people. Natasha told us that we were going to Krymsk for a couple of days and that there was an hour left before departure, so that we could have time to go home for things. I left my running shoes, pants, T-shirt in the bag; I was wearing jeans, a Karl Lagerfeld T-shirt with the words "Life is a joke", my nails were bright red. I had no idea where and why I was going.

There was no fear at all. There was shame. It turned out that the other seven volunteers who responded to Vodianova's call were professional psychologists. As soon as the bus started moving, they started talking about Gestalt. And I thought: “God, where have I gone!” And if someone had told me then that in a day I would become the coordinator of the entire humanitarian mission and would yell at the peasants, supervise the unloading of KamAZ trucks, I would have answered: “Who? I AM? Not". We entered Krymsk at night. We all tensed up internally, began to prepare for the apocalypse. And so we got off the bus, ready for a super hell, and we see: a field, tents, bonfires are burning, people are playing guitars, someone is doing yoga - the camp was outside the flood zone. And I thought: “Here, damn it, they inflated again!” In the morning they ask me: “Can you deliver a humanitarian aid?” And so the driver and I stuff everything into the "sable". We stop at the Ministry of Emergency Situations, where they give us some kind of masks, respirators, rubber boots, gloves. Why is unclear. We drive up to the village of Nizhnebakanskaya, and I remember all the films about the end of the world that I saw.

“I immediately understood how to use a respirator - as soon as I entered the yard in which forty chickens died”

Everything is destroyed, everything is in the mud, screams, people, barking dogs. I remember that inside me, as if some kind of shutter clicked, animal instinct turned on. I jumped out of the car and entered the house number 44 on Mira Street, because some kind of howl was coming from there. Inside there is dirt and an incredible stench that hurts the eyes, and a grandmother who has been lying under the boards for two days. In such situations, somehow you immediately understand what needs to be done. You pull out your grandmother, give her something to drink, wrap her in a dry bathrobe and run to the next house. You see, no one ever taught me how to use a respirator, but I immediately understood everything - as soon as I entered the yard, in which forty chickens died. The stench is outrageous, but the adrenaline rush is so strong that this thick, sweet stench that penetrates everywhere does not make you sick. I actually felt sick in Krymsk only once. When we came to a tree, on which goats were hanging, washed away by a wave, and moving because they were being eaten by worms. But even at that moment, the brain worked differently than in ordinary life. I didn’t think, “Oh my God, poor goats,” but only: “The source of infection, I’m calling the Ministry of Emergencies.” In short, by the evening of the first day, I became the camp coordinator. And three days later a bus came to take us back to Moscow. I didn't go. By that time it seemed to me that I had been in Krymsk for a month. Psychologists from the Ministry of Emergency Situations later explained that in war one day goes for five.

Naturally, there were people who could not stand all this. For example, with one girl from our bus, a graduate of the psychology faculty of Moscow State University, after two conversations with her grandmothers, a tantrum generally happened, and she was sent back home by the very first bus. At some point, it dawned on me that being active on Facebook is no less important than working in the field. You publish a post about your grandfather, a former military pilot, whose wheelchair was flattened by a wave, and five minutes later people call back and say: “We want to buy a wheelchair for the pilot. Where to transfer money? Or you post the news that there are no flip phones, and then some oil company calls back: “How do you transfer five million?” When I returned to Moscow in September, I had 100% Afghan syndrome. This is when a person does not recognize reality and, sitting in a cafe, thinks: “My guys are there, and I am here.” It seemed to me that everything around was artificial. The idea that I would again stand on the red carpet in a Valentino dress and broadcast for Kommersant FM what Renata Litvinova was wearing today was simply unbearable. But there was work from which it was impossible to get away. A friend was filming a film about the Buranovsky Babushkas and wanted me to do the interview with them, and he was waiting for me all summer while I was in Krymsk. I must say that the film helped me to come to my senses. It was like a symbiosis of my past and my present life. Yes, and the interviews with the grandmothers turned out to be cool - thinner, more hysterical than if I had taken them without visiting Krymsk. Krymsk has become the main filter for me: everything superfluous has disappeared. I remember how on the first day in Krymsk a man in shorts and with an ax in his hand came out of the flooded house to me. “Give me pants, boots and a shovel,” he said to me, “I’ll rake the house.” After this, you understand: relatives are alive and well? Is there a roof over your head? The rest is all nonsense.

Manager turned toastmaster

Mikhail Trokhin about fighting fears, meeting in the subway and getting married by the pool

Age: 31 years
Who was: manager
Who became: toastmaster

I was studying at MISiS when my sister was hit by a car. A very complicated operation was needed, and we began to look for different methods of treatment - up to alternative medicine. And so, through acquaintances, they found a person who, at the very first meeting, said that people often live on the machine, act according to parental and social attitudes, not seeing their potential. Hearing this, I went to him and began to learn to observe myself from the outside. I went to shaman concerts, mastered various practices, even went to Mount Kailash in Tibet. I used to think that what my mind dictates to me is who I am. Now I can turn off my fears. By the way, this doctor cured my sister, the operation was not needed.

My family was the most ordinary: my father was a policeman, my mother worked at the post office. I was afraid to bring a bad mark from school, I cried if I got a deuce. In general, he was a very shy child. And the girls were difficult. And then I started doing things that are scary on purpose. For example, I met my wife on the subway. I threw a note to her, in which it was written: "I am numb from your beauty." She read hello-bye, back and forth. Then it turned out that she lives across the porch from me.

“Sometimes friends invite me to another city, and I think that if I go, I will lose two weddings, which is 100 thousand rubles”

I have always loved skiing. And now, after the institute, I opened the magazine "Skiing" and I see - heart rate monitors. I think it's cool, why not do them? I called the company and got a job as a sales manager for heart rate monitors. I did this for 5 years. At the same time, everyone tried to fight his fears: he went to acting courses, to public speaking courses, to pickup courses, there were fun tasks - to walk along the subway car and sing a song or wish everyone a good mood. At first my arms and legs were trembling, but in the end I did it five times. One day, one of my friends called me to help arrange a wedding. I succeeded, and I registered on the wedding forum, made myself a profile, portfolio. Customers called right away. I had such a conversation with them that they did not even ask how many weddings I had. In two weeks, I had about four meetings with clients, and they all took me. I thought that I would earn more than in the office. And then he quit.

When you host weddings, sometimes you want to do something unusual, not just a banquet with riddles. Requests, of course, are very different. Once they arranged a party, without parents, a trip to a country club and began to have fun by the pool, throwing capitals at each other. I try to make sure that there are things that no one else had. I have held about 200 weddings, I have not been on vacation for 2 years. And now I'm more and more thinking about some other business of life. Sometimes friends are invited to a wedding in another city as a guest, and I think that if I go, I will lose two of my weddings, which is 100 thousand rubles. It's hard to get. I have now fallen a little out of reality, my spiritual growth has also slowed down. Now everything is in the family, my family is my spiritual growth. I want to develop my business. You don’t really want to be spiritually developed and materially poor. Those who do this are lying.

Housewife turned civic activist

Maria Baronova about the Bolotnaya case, loneliness and the dream of the sea

Age: 29 years
Who was: housewife
Who became: civil activist

My family is from the natural science intelligentsia, my grandparents are engineers, my mother is a theoretical physicist. After studying at an English special school, I entered the Chemistry Department of Moscow State University. In parallel with her studies, she worked as a chemical equipment sales manager, then she got married and had a child. And in fact, she was an ordinary housewife with a child. Politics at the news level has always interested me, but I did not plan to become a criminal at all.

Everything changed when I found myself in a situation where all my friends left: this is the fate of most Russian chemists who continue to do science. And I realized that I can no longer engage in any sales, and in general I don’t want to live in Russia. But my ex-husband did not let me and my son leave the country. It was 2010. I found myself in complete isolation, my only social circle was housewives - acquaintances from kindergarten and circles. I literally had nothing to talk about and no one to talk to. Then I decided that if I was imprisoned in this country, I should at least try to change the life around me.

As a volunteer, I put up leaflets, helped organize pickets, and at the December rallies I offered to help organize a press center. There she met Ilya Ponomarev, became his press secretary. But I soon realized that the press secretary is the one who expresses someone else's opinion, and I did not come to earn money, but to express my opinion. We parted with him in a partnership, and I was still responsible for working with the press at rallies. I met a lot of wonderful people and no longer felt like the smartest in the area - there were a lot of smarter people around me. That wonderful feeling that I had at the Faculty of Chemistry, when everyone around me was an Olympiad, and I was just a girl from a humanitarian school, returned.

“Because of being in the Swamp Affair, I can only talk about the loneliness I feel.”

But, to be honest, if this conversation took place in 2012, I would say: “Oh yes, this is so cool, I changed my life and I see real prospects for our country!” Then I even thought about going into politics. But now, because of the Swamp Business, I can only talk about the loneliness I feel. After all, people do not understand at all what it means to sit all day in the Investigative Committee for fifteen months. You do not have time to be with the child, no one hires you. And Bolotnaya Square actually turned away from us, pretended that there was no "Bolotnaya case". And the further, the more clearly I understand that there are no "two Russias - a chanson and an iPhone", but there is one Russia, and its ideas about freedom are the same, and this will never change.

So I don’t think far, I’m studying political science at the HSE, I write columns and reports - I like it. Besides, nobody needs a worker who spends five days a week in the UK anymore. The only thing I can imagine in the future is how another two years will pass, the trial and probation will pass, and then I will go to Turkey and just lie on the seashore for two weeks - this is the only thing I sincerely dream about.

Meat Seller Turned Travesty Dancer

Azamat Khaidukov about a family scandal, meat rows and men dressed in women's clothing

Age: 30 years
Who was: meat seller
Who became: travesty dancer

At the age of 14, I drank homemade wine for the first time with a friend, came home not very sober, well, and told my mother that I was gay. The next day, the whole family gathered to discuss what to do with me. And my family is Kabardino-Balkarian, Muslim, so there was no “leave alone” option in the list of possible solutions. I packed all my things and left for Krasnodar. When I returned home, my relatives were so happy that they stopped saying anything to me.

They got me a very brutal job - selling meat right at home, in Maykop. At the age of 15-17, I could earn 3-4 thousand rubles a day in pocket money. Every day I got up at 5 in the morning, came to the market, weighed my meat, the cutters chopped it for me, and I laid it beautifully on the counter. Cool job. I once weighed a woman down, and she burned me for this occupation and then actually went to my work for two months every single day and shouted: “Do not buy meat from him! He is a swindler." I didn’t deny myself anything - I could get together in the evening, take two girlfriends and go 400 kilometers to Rostov, go to a club for a walk, leave there around 30 thousand and go back.

“As I remember now, Miss Zhuzha came out, and it was just awful”

Once I went to Sochi and at some point ended up in a gay club. It was called "Lakomka". During the day there was a children's ice cream parlor, and in the evening it turned into a gay club with a travesty show. As I remember now, Miss Zhuzha came out, and it was just terrible! I was outraged by everything: that he was dressed in women's clothes, that he was wearing heels, that he was wearing make-up like a prostitute. "Ugh, how gross is that!" - it seemed to me.

But I liked Sochi so much that I decided to move there. In the summer I wove pigtails, in the winter I got a job as a waiter, of course, through an acquaintance, so I went to a gay club. It's called "The Lighthouse". There was also a drag show. A year later, I grew up to the hostess, the men who dressed in women's clothes stopped annoying me. And now, a few years later, I suddenly decided to try to speak. My boyfriend and I, who still sews all the costumes for me, came up with the idea of ​​taking a women's dress in the national Ossetian style. We carefully planned the make-up, I painted for two hours, probably. And they put on a dance number to the famous Chechen song. And in Mayak, 60-70 percent of visitors are Caucasians. They just howled with pleasure! It was 8 years ago. Since then I have put a lot of numbers. And my most popular is lezginka, in which I dance the female part. When I went out for the first time to do this number, I felt like Alla Borisovna Pugacheva. There are only 300 people in the hall clapping, but when they start dancing with you, screaming, squealing and tipping you hysterically, you can earn 40 thousand in 3 minutes. You think it's fucking cool! My mother was at the club that time. She liked my number so much that she seems to have become my most devoted fan.

But you know what? It's been eight years now, men dressing in women's clothes don't disgust me. But I am in the image only in the club and never walk down the street in this form. And when I am in character, they love me because I am a kid, that I can fight, that I talk about myself in the masculine gender and even on stage I don’t call myself Azik, Azamatik.

Financier-turned-documentarian

Vera Loginova on how to earn millions and spend them on a movie about Russia

Age: 33 years
Who was: financier
Who became: documentary filmmaker

In the late 1990s, I saw no alternatives to legal and economic education, especially from the steppes of Central Kazakhstan. At the age of 21, I became the executive director of a large insurance company, I was awesome in the subject, we had a cool team, our portfolio included insurance contracts for shipyards, oil pipelines, and even the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. But I was not interested in money as such - I equally laid out for $100 and for 10,000 euros.

Then my friend Anton Nosik invited me to work with him: I reviewed Internet startups, built models, calculated profits, and conducted an audit. You see, I am a master of finance. I can turn any business into any money and vice versa, using any jurisdiction and any technology. I really know and love the laws. In short, everything was fine with me. I became popular as a financier, lived in a beautiful apartment with a luxurious guy, everything was great with us. But pretty boring. I stopped eating meat and drinking and started doing yoga. But it was still boring. And I realized that it's not about the guys, and it's not about the job, and it's not about where you are. The fact is that I personally do not understand what I really want to do in life.

And then they call me to the Perm Economic Forum, and I suddenly find myself, so to speak, in Russia. Then I decided to visit the cities of the world where the road was built after 2000. I got to the Himalayas, where I equipped one holy village - I painted the roofs, cleaned up the garbage, all that. At some point, I go down to buy a fresh newspaper, call my parents and friends. And suddenly, on the phone, in the market, among the mangoes and cows, I conclude a major contract. The agency fee there was decent. And with my gold card I’m already going through the real jungle to Nepal, trudging to the base camp on Everest in June, when everything is closed there, the glaciers are melting and everything is melting. But I still almost reached 6 thousand. One.

"Raid Array, Thunderbolt, Chromakey - there was no way to guess what the guys were discussing"

What I didn’t do later was to practice on a boat as a sailor in Greece, to pick figs in Croatia, to work in vineyards in Tuscany. I was even going on an expedition to the North Pole, but I couldn’t fit in. Last spring, she flew to Russia, walked from the Aeroexpress with a giant backpack, and we had traffic cops at the crossroads. And suddenly their brick faces, covered with snow, somehow lit up - and I hear: “Well, welcome back, or what?” I say - "Well, yes." And they told me - "Well, welcome." And I began to encounter such a topic everywhere on the streets. They all seem to have changed! It is clear that I have changed - but then I did not understand it. At that time, I really, really liked the Russia of the spring of 2012. I even became an election observer. And she came up with a movie - a documentary series about a country in which cool people live. I then had some savings - I bought a minibus, gathered a team and drove around the country.

I decided that the easiest way to learn something about people in Russia is to find out what questions they are interested in. This is how the concept was born: we asked each hero what his three main questions to the Universe were. And the next hero answered us. That's why my project is called "Country of answers".

I didn’t know anything about documentaries until a year and a half ago. At first, I couldn’t speak with my team - I didn’t understand a single word. Raid array, Thunderbolt, chromakey - there was no way to guess what the guys were discussing. The most difficult thing for me was to prove to people who have been in the profession for a long time that any business can be done differently. Many tasks are solved by some standard inefficient flowcharts. And since I don’t know anything at all, I do everything in my own somehow intuitive way. And everything always works out.

My ambitions are not Sundance, Locarno or Channel One. Although this too. My ambition is to give everyone a simple knowledge of how to be happy right now through this film. Say what you feel and do what you say. I have not lost my business acumen with this movie - I just feel happy every day, even when I am very tired, even when others behave dumb or idiotic. I feel an inner strength, I feel a delightful powerful wave, rightness and truth. And I am in love with all the people I work with, these are the most beautiful and brave people on earth. Do what you want with the ones you love, that's what.

Boxer turned actor

Alexander Savin about the Hare in the Hop fable, adrenaline and a lost biography

Age: 34 years
Who was: boxer
Who became: actor

I was born in Stavropol on January 1 - a gift to my father. Studied, went in for sports. He trained as a physical education teacher and immediately went to Germany to box in heavy weight. Then I returned to Moscow to renew my visa, and I suddenly received a refusal from the German embassy. I was very upset, but I didn’t want to leave my boxing career: I thought that I would train in Moscow, and go there to fight. As a result, he got a job as a trainer in a 24-hour fitness club. The selection was serious - about 50 people per seat.

Back in Stavropol, in my 2nd year, I met one director, then still a beginner, Edward Parry. And, as he ended up in Moscow, he began acting with him. The first role was like this - I go out, take money from the authority, give him a slap on the back of the head and leave. "Yellow Dragon" was called a movie, a 4-episode film. Such a movie for young people, Epifantsev also played there. I asked my friend to use me wherever possible. Played in the TV series "Moscow. Central District. Gradually, roles with words began to appear, and then I realized that if I want to act further, I need to master the acting profession. I say: “Edik, I understand that you are filming me - as a comrade - in such roles so that I do not ruin your film. What if I finished some acting classes? He says: “It's not a question, choose - GITIS, VGIK or Pike. And just acting classes are nonsense. And I began to act, chose "Pike" - the second higher education, evening. For the first year, a selection of 200 people was selected, but did not enter. It didn't work out in the second year either. I entered for the third time, if it didn’t work out, I would have stopped trying. Although there was one girl who applied four times, she never did.

“My favorite fable is “The Hare in the Hop”, I read it everywhere with great pleasure”

By the third year, I was already liberated. I went to give them what they demand, and they demand - to light it. During the three years of training, I learned a lot of things. My favorite fable is “The Hare in the Hop”, I read it everywhere with great pleasure. While I’m studying, I don’t shoot - I don’t exchange for trifles. I'm in business for now. In the spring they called to Gelendzhik to shoot - he refused. As soon as the business can develop without me, I can concentrate on the cinema. I don’t think that I became an actor, but the education I receive is very good and worthy. And I don’t consider it as a hobby, although I understand that I’m taking risks. The wife is supportive and helpful. I would like, of course, to try myself in the theater. Theater is everything.

Even on a training assignment, I have a huge adrenaline rush before the performance. And this is actually - one to one - like entering the ring. The acting profession requires a huge psychological preparation.

If someone at 22 told me that everything would turn out like this, I would not have believed it. Although back in 1996, I hinted to my mother that I wanted to enter the theater. She then reacted with irony, but here's how it all happened. At some point, I began to write my biography, wrote on the phone for about a year, and then lost it. But I was not very upset - not that I have some kind of phenomenal memory, but some events are impossible to forget. And I had a lot of them.

Petushnik turned designer

Sergey Pakhotin about Belozersky punks, traps and stolen books

Age: 28 years
Who was: vocational school student
Who became: fashion designer

I was born in 1985 in Mogilev, then Chernobyl happened - and we moved to a farm in western Belarus. This is in Belozersk - in general it is considered a city, but you can walk through it entirely in three minutes. In the same place in Belozersk, I graduated from a vocational school as a welder-electrician.

At first I listened to rap, The Prodigy. And then there was graduation after the 9th grade, and my friends and I went to the lake. Already at night, in the alcoholic chaos, we met hairy people, rockers. And they beat them. A cassette fell out from one of the hairies, I picked it up. It had no cover, only two letters were scratched out with a nail: GO. I listened to it that same night, and I felt cool. I thought - this is a crazy man, howling in a goatish voice, but his soul is so light and at the same time scary. Then I asked my friends what kind of music this was, and they explained it to me.

Somehow I found an advertisement in the Musical Newspaper of our Belarusian: a man wrote that he was associated with the Radioactive Waste group and was making a zine. I thought, “What is a zine? Interesting, I need to write to him!” Its zine was called a foreign name, which I could not even pronounce, so I simply redrawn it and attached the money, asked to be sent to me when it was ready. A month and a half later, he really sent - both a zine and a bunch of small pieces of paper with pictures and addresses (as I later found out, they were called flyers). And then I began to correspond with other punks - I went to the post office almost daily, and a little later to the computer club. Then everything was incomprehensible. For example, it is written about some group that it is “melodic hardcore”, but I don’t even know what hardcore is. And there is no one in particular to ask in Belozersk.

“All this toilet punk leads to nothing, you just drink and that’s it”

Then I started going to punk concerts in other cities. I corresponded with Petya Kosovo (a well-known Moscow anti-fascist, now a political emigrant. - Ed.), with members of the Verification Line group, which greatly influenced me. We once organized a concert for them in a potato field near Brest, it took place after heavy rain, when everything miraculously did not short out, and this concert also changed me a lot. I realized that all this toilet punk leads to nothing, it's all destructive, you just thump and that's it. And the “PL” was a new step: people with a sense of humor, aggressive, interesting and poor, got down to business. And soon I decided to move to Moscow. I thought about going to Warsaw or Kiev, but there was nothing interesting in this regard: everyone there copied Euro-activism, there was little of their own. And in Moscow, I felt that changes should begin.

At first, I lived in Moscow very poorly. Work has always been difficult. When I went to interviews, I had to wear shirts and jeans in the summer so that the tattoo would not be visible, even if I went to get a job as a loader or courier. Once he got a job as a courier and delivered traps to animals, ten kilograms each. This depressed me very much - after all, I do not eat meat and I am against murder. I decided that after you gave such a trap to someone, you should definitely do something good, for example, repaint or repair something in the city. But he still ran away from this job later. For a while, I was a face controller at Rodna. And he wondered what kind of bored girls and boys go there. 90% just die of boredom.

For some time I was alone in the apartment, my duties were only to open the door to a realtor who came to show this apartment to potential buyers. I read all day long, listened to Orpheus radio, and went out of the house to steal books from the store. And then I came up with this idea with T-shirts: print interesting pictures on them, something unusual. Everyone told me that it was impossible to do this at home, but I decided to try. From the passion for literature, the idea of ​​the first series of prints was born: with Selin, Bukowski, Erofeev and others. Now I have no sense of the futility of my work. I can live and not depend on anyone.

What I still like about punk is the solidarity, the feeling that if you get into trouble, they won't let you go to waste. I like self-organization, the fact that people do not expect someone from above to help them. It seems to me that in Russia the majority has already understood that there will be no help, but they are still waiting for something. And the punks stopped waiting.

Male officer turned businesswoman

Alina B. about sex change and military affairs

Age: 38 years
Who was: an officer
Who became: Business lady

I do business, I hold meetings, I visit factories, I drive a car, but at the same time I am not there. In the bureaucratic-legal sense, of course. After me, only secondary, fragmentary traces remain - almost like a Higgs boson or a neutrino. I created my current self out of emptiness, photoshop and knowledge from a past life. Most of the people who interact with me don't know that I'm transgender. I don't want to have a naked session or talk about legal difficulties and juicy details. For hot - it's not for me. It's just that I live the way I do now, it's more comfortable. I should clarify: I am a high-risk logistics specialist. I can bring anything and anywhere and bypass any barrier. And since officials have not been able to approve the form of a medical certificate for gender reassignment for 18 years, I preferred to put a personal stalemate on the state machine: I live with one name in documents and a completely different one on a business card.

In my youth, I was faced with a complete lack of information about people like me, and therefore decided that I was a freak and a monster. She gathered herself into a fist and did everything possible so as not to let her family down, talentedly played the role of an exemplary boy. She studied well, mastered languages, read a lot. I made a little, even made a working model of a mine with a ballistic missile with a friend - my grandfather built these mines in his time, well, he told me how they are arranged. And in the 10th grade, we built a functioning instance of a recoilless gun from water pipes. Very, by the way, effective at medium distances. Why was I interested in the army and military affairs? I studied what was interesting and where I felt dynamics, life. In the USSR, the only such industry was military affairs and the defense industry that came into contact with it. Scraps of ideas and technologies from there were already getting to the rest of the economy. In general, gunpowder cinder is a very effective tool for airing the brains from propaganda nonsense. And any war (and I was at war) is a huge separator of people from non-humans. Moreover, both the first and the second are always on both sides of the front. It happens when your enemy deserves more respect than a neighbor.

“I made a little, I made a working model of a mine with a ballistic missile”

In the 90s, I was doing everything that you can earn money on. I counted coursework and control papers on a calculator, then I bought a computer and put this business on stream. She traded everything that could be sold (even coins “lucky 10 cents of Uncle Scrooge himself” from Sheremetyevo duty free), took marble out of the quarry, taxied, drove cars. At the age of 20, I already had my own car - a Moskvich, but a new one.

I work from dawn to dusk. Wake up at 5.30, hang up at 0.00. At work since 8 am, getting home before 9 pm does not work. And there - to have dinner, swim and sleep. I answer work emails until the end of the day, I strive to be as customer-oriented as possible. If I had not changed myself, I would have lived in exactly the same way. I just changed the shell to a more comfortable one for me personally, but did nothing with the content. I still wouldn't have kids.

The easiest way would be to assume that I do not respect our state because it does not protect the rights of LGBT people. But it's not. Our state takes an anti-humanist position in principle. Show the rights of which social, professional or national group are fully protected in our country? Maybe entrepreneurs? Or the now hated creative class? Or scientists? You can generally keep silent about pensioners. In the current situation, it is natural that any decent person does not accept the methods and goals of such public education. There is a very narrow circle of beneficiaries of CJSC Rossiya, who extract profit from the country and indulge their personal ambitions. We have an absolute priority of loyalty over competence, and in the last place - responsibility. Therefore, I prefer to evaluate the effectiveness of our officials exclusively in TNT equivalent.

How is life like me? As paradoxical as it sounds, the most loyal and tolerant (to me personally) are law enforcement officers. True, I show them a genuine, albeit dissonant with the appearance, package of documents. And not a single case of aggression. Perhaps because on a subconscious level they understand that since someone lives and looks like that, then he has the right. I call this the "Moska effect".

I know many stories of people who changed themselves in this way. Stories with both happy and tragic endings. All the positives can be combined in one: the winners were accomplished individuals and masters in their field (completely different professions). Then it was possible to get support from the outside, and provide yourself with funds for at least a couple of years of uncertainty. It's necessary. Otherwise, you simply will not reach the finish line. And, I repeat, this is not a road for the weak. You should not think that when you put on a skirt or heels, earthly blessings will fall to you from the sky and see you off - they will be exclusively admiring glances. My experience is like trying to ride a ball covered in ice. If you do not feel in yourself the talent of a tightrope walker or, at worst, a clown, it’s better not to start.

Unemployed turned businessman

Andrey Knyazev about cigarettes, beer and geodesic domes

Age: 34 years
Who was: unemployed
Who became: businessman

I was not struck by lightning, I was not a millionaire who rushed off to Goa. I just quit smoking. For the first three days, he nervously gnawed seeds, and two weeks later he got to a birthday party, drank, and then grabbed cigarettes, then threw them away. The next morning I made a promise to myself that until I feel that I quit smoking forever, I will not drink. I remember going out on Kashirka, the sun, hot September. I walk up to the tent and immediately catch myself thinking that I'm looking at beer. It was a blow to my ego! I took water and went to Brateevo, not yet knowing that this decision would change a lot.

I began to communicate with people of a completely different plan. Before that, I had never seen a single living vegetarian in my eyes, but then I stopped eating those with eyes. Once I received a spam email: “What do you know about geodesic domes?” I didn’t know anything about them, but I became interested, and for five years now I have been building them in Russia. And I think that if at that moment I was sitting in front of a computer with a can of beer, I would simply throw this letter away. My wife Natalya smokes and eats meat. Of course, I tease her, but I understand that I will ruin her appetite if I say that the cutlet is the corpse of a dead animal. I have not yet chosen a religion for myself, I rarely do yoga (I would like to do it more often). And in general, all my vegetarianism is solid ecology and energy saving, nothing more. And as for the beard, I need it, because I really like the way my hair moves in the wind on my chin.

Dancers who became rural teachers

Alexey and Irina Basmanov about a house in a field, a goat and a life calling

Age: 30 years old, 32 years old
Who were: professional dancers
Who became: rural teachers

Irina: I had a dream to become a world champion or a champion of Russia in sports ballroom dancing. When we first started dancing together, Alexei had his own dance club, I had my own, and I had an amateur dance career behind me. In Russia, we quickly became silver medalists under the program “10 dances among professionals”, we went to the world championships - all the time and performed well there. Then they went to Italy to work, they offered us to stay there, they invited us to America. In general, one could go on and on, but Alexei already had a clear guideline.

Alexei: At the age of 16, I began to be interested in various philosophical trends, somehow a book by Vladimir Megre fell into my hands. I was very imbued with what was written there about the family, about the Motherland, I was imbued with a sense of patriotism. I organically cannot stand the city, and then I very clearly understood that I wanted to leave. But I understood that if we take any serious steps, they must be prepared. The preparation took almost 10 years. The most difficult thing was to find a person who, from the greenhouse conditions, would be ready to move, I don’t understand where.

Irina: At first I took a wait-and-see attitude and thought to myself: “Well, the land will not be found right away.” And she found it almost immediately. Then I thought: “Well, do not immediately move.” We moved, but not right away. First, they spent the winter at the Leshins' dacha in order to understand what village life is. Of course, at first we had thoughts of leaving completely in the wilderness, but then we abandoned them and now we don’t regret it - you listen to how people who live in the taiga tell how they fight for the harvest in order to survive, how wild animals come to them on they come, it becomes really scary.

Alexei: At first we just came here and lived in a tent in the field. Then I built a small house. Before that, I didn’t really know how to hammer in a nail, in the end, nothing - I managed it together with one person. The first year we really lived together in the field. It was cool: the lights of the village in the distance, romance. And we decided to do everything for real: horses were brought in, hay was harvested by hand. And it's not easy - mowed and laid, it needs to be dried, turned over, collected. We went to the locals, asked - what, how. Failed once, then again. Then more.

Irina: We planned to have children and wanted to switch to a different diet. They asked around - no one had anything. So we decided to get our own goat and chickens. And not just a goat, but a thoroughbred. They seem to have found a suitable option, they called, the person says: “Yes, okay, I’ll bring you a dairy goat from Lipetsk.” She brings it in, takes it out of the trunk, but she’s just not there - she was shaking there for five hours, she lost her milk, of course, but we only realized this later. I ask: “But how to milk her?” And he: “How do I know! This is what my grandmother does." I had to go back to the locals. And you also need to understand that the goat is not just standing and waiting to be milked, she kicks, dodges. When we realized that there was no milk, we had to cover this goat and give birth, and then only she had milk. In general, problems were everywhere - just get water from the well.

Alexei: In the first year, I went to work for two days, and Irina was left alone. Generally one. Pregnant woman in the field. There was some electricity in the house from solar panels, but it was dark outside the window, clouds were flying across the sky, the moon was twinkling, the field was all around, nothing could be seen. She was scared. In the first year, there was still no road - a field and a broken primer, the rain had passed - that's all. But somehow we managed everything. They wanted to completely switch to agriculture. But after some time, we realized that by growing potatoes and raising chickens here, we still bring less benefit than if we raised disciples.

We did not want to go to Moscow, so we looked at what clubs there are in the district, what kind of teachers. Of course, when I first came to settle down, they looked at me askance: my hair was long, my beard. Still, when you work as a dance teacher for children, you have to look like a dance teacher. And here, if the rain has passed, leaving the house, getting to the car and staying clean is already a problem. Shaving is another story. Now the conditions have improved, and it has become easier. But we like to work here, rich parents came to Moscow, they gave us money and forgot about it. And here we see the result of labor, children are very motivated. For them, this is not two stomps, three swoops, but a real sport.

At first, we had thoughts that our daughter would not go to kindergarten and school. But now we have abandoned these views. You can go into the forest, fence yourself off from everyone, and in the end it will turn out that the children will grow up cut off from the world. If we ourselves grew up in the forest, then maybe. And so - a mess can turn out. Why did we even leave here? Not because of the fresh air, of course. I clearly understood that I wanted to live with my loved one in the countryside. Here there is more unity and more feeling. And in the city this feeling is much harder to keep. Attention goes - back and forth, back and forth. When I think, well, what are the advantages? Dear good apartment? Dear good car? Good job? No, thank you, I don’t need anything, I’d rather carry water from the well, heat the stove, go to the forest for firewood, and I won’t be drawn to the city for any gingerbread.

Businessman turned yogi

Sergei Korolev on starvation, walking on coals and the dangers of positive thinking

Age: 35 years
Who was: businessman
Who became: yogi

From childhood, I was, in fact, an entrepreneur - my friends ordered some drawings for me and then bought them. Since then, I have always worked for myself. In the late 90s, when I was 20 years old, I had about 30 outlets - no one believed that it was all mine, they thought that I was only an administrator. Then he started making furniture. There were many things. I worked all the time, I didn’t have days off, I didn’t go anywhere much, I dreamed of giving myself a day off - this lasted for years from the age of 16.

Fate changed abruptly and immediately. When my mother died in front of me from cancer, it was in that second that everything in my life changed. I decided to change my life, I began to think about what I do, about my health. Using the example of my mother, I realized that one should not rely on doctors, although there were problems with health and I felt worse and worse. I began to search for various information on the Internet and check it for myself. I started with a vegetarian diet, then a raw food diet, then I began to starve and focused only on my feelings. I starved fifteen times for a long time - on water for 20 days, and without water and food for up to 11 days, although they write in textbooks, a person can only survive without water for 72 hours. The body adapts to any challenge. For the first time, on the fifth day, my voice disappeared, I walked very slowly, constant fatigue. But after getting out of hunger, I felt great: younger, stronger. Ten-year-old sports results returned automatically. At first I was a little fanatical and tried to tell everyone how great it was, but then I decided to share my experience with those who were interested and created my own VKontakte group. He briefly described the method of how to quickly lose weight and improve health, and the emphasis was on losing weight, because people, as a rule, do not actually strive to be healthy. Such an entrepreneurial attitude.

"Lying on nails promotes relaxation - I can do this twenty-four hours a day"

I partly sold my share in the business to my partner, and I just gave most of it to him, because I was not interested in doing this. I began to organize events, rent halls, I had my own club. Gradually, the range of interests expanded. When you begin to open up to something new, you gradually learn that walking on coals and glass is not the prerogative of some yogis and enlightened ones. So I put together different techniques and 3 years ago I created the Free People project, which promotes a healthy lifestyle.

We completely lack esotericism. I am against these conversations about universal love and about the fact that the main thing is to think positively. There was such a case in Altai, we lost two people, and some girl says: “The main thing for us all is to think positively!” I answer: "It's time for us to call the Ministry of Emergency Situations, and not think positively." Many esotericists do not work because they believe that money is evil, but I believe that it is a resource. With this money I can go to swell, or I can make an event where people get to know each other, talk, walk on glass, learn something new and important for themselves. Our courses are available to absolutely anyone, from a five-year-old child to a pensioner. Everyone can lie on nails, walk on glass, on coals, and so on. And we have never had any incidents - no one was injured, no one was burned. No shamanism: we give techniques and explain that they work. It's just that if a person walks on glass and coals, it means that he believes in his own strength, it means that he can change something in his life, removes some of his internal barriers. Lying on nails promotes relaxation - a person understands that pain is illusory. And for this you do not need to go to Tibet. 10 minutes of briefing - and go. I can do this twenty-four hours a day, and I like it. And I'm glad that my girlfriend is doing this with me. By the way, she eats meat, and I have nothing against it.

Editor-in-chief turned social worker

Marina Gatzemeyer-Khakimova about Malakhov, shame and German veterans

Age: 41 years old
Who was: chief editor
Who became: Social worker

I worked as a television editor for many years. She worked at Malakhov's "Big Wash", did both "Let them talk" and "Malakhov +", Lolita shows, night projects, special projects in parallel. In general, at some point I quit with “Let them talk”. For me it was a decisive step. People often do not understand why they suddenly felt uncomfortable at their old job, in fact, they just hit the ceiling. There is another term - burnout syndrome. In Germany, where I now live, professionals who work with people, such as doctors, sometimes visit a psychotherapist and go on vacation relatively often. And why? Because when you work with people for a long time, you communicate a lot, you start to just hate them. This can be in any profession related to communication - nurses, taxi drivers, conductors. This happens to journalists too, and it means that you need to look for a new direction or take a break. I was well aware of that at the time, which is why I left. Then I met a man from Germany, fell madly in love and visited him every week. A year later, I moved in with my two children and we got married.

If in Moscow I was a lonely, independent woman, then here I decided to really try to change everything: I became a housewife, cooked soups, cleaned. We had a huge house and two large gardens to cultivate. I seriously went to flower markets, discussed with friends how to make an alpine hill and what kind of trees to plant around. She constantly cleaned, washed windows every week, wiped something every day, cleaned to a shine. And after living like this for about a month, I decided to go to work. At first I worked for free - there is a large charitable organization here, where wealthy Germans come simply for the opportunity to do good in their free time. You need to communicate with the sick and the elderly, sing songs to them, talk, drink coffee with them.

“I did the program “Let them talk” and I was not sure that what I was doing was right”

After some time, I realized that I needed to get a driver's license, and this is very expensive in Germany, I need to learn the language, there were still a lot of expenses. I told the head of this organization about this, and she agreed to pay me money for harder work. So I became a nurse and cleaner. Then my relationship with my husband did not work out, and I left him, but I did not think about moving to Moscow. Because I lived in Moscow and did the program “Let them talk” and I didn’t have confidence that what I was doing was right. I was very tormented by the question - why am I doing this? Who benefits from this? Working with the sick or working as a cleaner is a completely different matter. You immediately see the result of your work - the joyful face of a person. And most importantly, I am sure that I am not using this person. I can sleep peacefully at night without thinking: have I shat someone? I often talk with old people, and these are people who went through the war. Someone fought on the side of the SS, someone was still a child, but in any case, their stories are an interesting experience. They tell me a lot, I think that in the future these conversations could even become material for a book.

Illustrator turned fisherman

Maxim Kurbatov about parasitism, used cars and Tuvan fishing

Age: 50 years
Who was: book illustrator
Who became: fisherman

I am an undergraduate printer. And I also have one sin, which, fortunately, in the past, I am a chronic alcoholic. He was a stormy youth, and regular studies did not fit into it. In general, at the institute I drove the bullshit. And then my parents decided to turn me over to the army out of sin. After the army, I had to somehow attach: Andropov then came to power, and they fought for labor discipline with might and main. I was assigned to different printing houses, but I walked in black. They were attracted to labor commissions for parasitism on a regular basis, the work book was all blue - I did not stay in one place for more than a month and a half. In 1984, if my memory serves me right, I was given a job at the Central Children's Theater as a stage worker, remembering that I once wanted to enter the theater. But there the KGB caught up with me: an Argentine ensemble of some kind of song and dance arrived, and there were KGB officers everywhere, they ran up the stairs, followed everyone, and as a result they caught me with a bottle and fired me. Then my mother told me that it was enough to deal with nonsense, and offered to work at home as a graphic artist. My mother is a printer, my father was the chief artist in the magazine "Decorative Art", all my friends are artists. I was identified by an acquaintance at the Moskovsky Rabochiy publishing house. I made a little book there. I was praised, and somehow it went. Then I went along the chain to Moscow publishing houses, and continued to thump. But it became a little easier, because if, for example, I took a job and flunked it, at least one of my relatives could finish it for me. By the way, he made very good money.

“I bought a computer, mastered programs, began to publish books on car repair”

It all dragged on until the 1991 revolution, when very difficult times began. Everyone survived as best they could. And since everything was accompanied by my alcoholic disease, it was difficult and difficult. In principle, the road was one way for me - I probably would have ended under the fence. But the wife said - either the family is breaking up, or something needs to be done. I went to the Lavra to see the monks and eventually gave up in 1995, since then I have not drunk. Just then, foreign cars poured into Russia. There were more and more of them every year, and mostly they were old, second-hand. At the same time, there were no specialized services as such, no one knew anything about them. On this wave - a holy place is never empty - people began to organize automobile publishing houses that were engaged in the translation and production of technical literature on the repair of foreign cars. It was just a boom! Books were bought up at such a rate that people didn't know what to do with the money. And at first I worked as a photographer in one such publishing house, reshooting illustrations from Western publications. And then I bought my first computer, a scanner, mastered specialized programs, and then set off into this jungle - I began to publish books on car repair myself. This continued until 2008, when the so-called banking crisis occurred. To the extent that almost all of these publishing houses lived on loans, the crisis affected them greatly. In addition, a ban was introduced on the import of old foreign cars, respectively, the entire market began to collapse.

I must say that somewhere in the mid-90s, when the money appeared, I began to travel and photograph a lot. Through my photography hobbies, I met a very interesting person, Alexander Basov. He was a foreman at the Tupolev factory, and I ordered him objective boards for my camera. He is a passionate fisherman, just crazy, one might say. He goes fishing in Tuva and he got me hooked. You fly to Kyzyl, from there you go another 240 kilometers to a remote village, where you get on a boat and ride along the river for another 240 km. These are wild places, there is no one there at all! And when our book history collapsed, I took up fishing.

Here is how it was. We actually lived on our mother-in-law's pension - from Auchan to Auchan - we bought groceries and you are sitting like in a submarine. And then my elder brother Bori Akimov, the founder of the LavkaLavka farm store (I was friends with them since childhood, their mother is my godmother and my mother’s godmother), calls me and asks how I’m doing. I say: “How are you? No way, we’re sitting here, we’ll start eating the quinoa soon. ” He says: “How is your fishing? Borka made LavkaLavka, they just have a problem with fish, they need a real, fresh one. You should call him." This was in September of the year before last. Now I do this all the time - I go to Rybinka, I take fish from the guys, I take them to Moscow. I actually only spend the night at home, and the rest of the time I go somewhere, I solve some issues. Previously, I was kind of a parasite and flew out of all jobs, but as a result I turned out to be a workaholic - I’m ready to work all day long until I fall.

Programmer turned photographer

Yuri Morozov about children's drawings, Slava Zaitsev and photography

Age: 32 years
Who was: programmer
Who became: photographer

As a child, I was a classical nerd. Parents are engineers, a sort of technical intelligentsia. At the age of ten, I already assembled my first radio receiver, but somehow it didn’t work out with creativity. All my works came out ugly, but technological. They asked me to draw a hut in the snow - the hut turned out so-so, but the snow shone quite realistically due to the added table salt. The cars assembled at labor lessons looked like the devil's chariots, but they knew how to drive independently and perform all sorts of useful actions. In general, since childhood, the soul lay in technology, and after the ninth grade I entered the Physics and Mathematics Lyceum, and two years later - the Faculty of Physics of Moscow State University. Studied radio and biophysics.

In the initial courses, the scholarship was not enough, and I had to quickly look for a job. Since I am well acquainted with computers since childhood, I got a job as an enikey worker (computer generalist) in a glossy magazine. In the morning at the university, at night in the editorial office. The stress built up instantly.

Once I saw an ad: there is a set for a school of ballroom dancing. Beautiful, but the physical activity is decent enough. And they were forbidden to me as a child. But I thought about it and decided: in FIG it's all - and went. The next few years I studied, worked and danced. He began to live on the principle of "need more hell." So that I didn’t have enough time for anything at all, I went to break dance. Unfortunately, after some time, the damaged tendon began to remind of itself, and I had to stop dancing.

“Most of all I liked to portray Neo from The Matrix: I easily got up on the bridge and could dodge bullets”

When I was dancing, I had an aesthetic component in my life. It became quite sad without her, and I tried to bring her back into my life. I tried to sing - it didn't work. I tried to play the piano - it didn't work either. The depression started. I don’t know how it would have ended if one day my friends hadn’t offered me to act as a dancer for an advertising photo shoot. I liked it: you stand, depicting what you have always done, only without dynamic load. Yes, and mom has something to show. Then came other orders: dancers are generally in demand in the photo business. What I liked the most was portraying Neo from The Matrix: I easily got up on the bridge and could dodge bullets, just like in the movie.

Once I was invited to the program “Fashionable Sentence”, which was then hosted by Vyacheslav Zaitsev. During the break, I approached him for an autograph, and he suddenly took it and invited me to his place - to work as a model. It was like I was on top of the world. Then, of course, I realized that this is far from the case. Once, after one of the photo shoots, when I saw the final result, I thought: “Guys, where do your hands grow from?” If you want to do it right, do it yourself. I bought a camera. I realized that my hands also do not work very well, and went to a photography school. But for me personally, this is more of a creative activity, so that there is something to remember in old age: “Here, granddaughters, we once drank with Barack Obama at the dacha in Uryupinsk, he tells me ...” Every time - new interesting people, every time - new memories. It is, in principle, worth a lot. Well, otherwise what's the point of all this?

Analyst who went to the sea

Denis Romanov on lean faces, diving and life without money

age: 42 years
who was: analyst
who became: travel agency owner

Recently, I worked as the head of the analytical department in a large news agency. Our department collected data on retail sales of electronic household appliances. All over the world, an Austrian company collects this data. And Russia is the only country where the data was taken not from them, but from us, because Western technologies did not work here. In general, there was a lot of free time - and a decent salary.

Windsurfing changed everything - I was already drawn to sails from childhood, and then time and opportunities appeared, but the impetus for a change of scenery was, perhaps, a divorce from my wife: when I got divorced, I began to go to the sea even more actively. And then, quite by accident, I read about Dahab on the Internet - they say, a good place, guys, come. We were the first Russians who mastered Dahab. He came to Moscow once every two months, signed invoices and went back. When I once again came to the office and saw there those dull dead faces of people who are most concerned about TV sales, it became unbearable. Morally, I was ready to give up everything, but I continued to dangle like that for another year.

And somehow in Dahab I get out of the sea in a wetsuit, sit down on the shore and smoke a hookah with my Arab friend. Before our eyes we have some kind of dive center. And purely by chance, this Vahid says to me: “Listen, this dive center is now for rent. Take it and stay, do you want it?" And I immediately thought: of course I want to. Although at that time I did not speak English and had little idea of ​​what diving is. Nevertheless, I immediately gave a thousand dollars that I had with me as a pledge, and I myself flew to Moscow to look for money in order to buy several sets of equipment, a laptop, a camera. I found a friend who invested in the business as a partner, quit his job and left with me. I didn’t want to make money on a hobby - this is fraught with the fact that you will hate it later. Windsurfing is like a drug: it does not let go, it takes a lot of time, effort and money. It's easier to stay at sea and do something. I didn’t have any business plans, this is Egypt - an adventure in its purest form. But I got my money back in the first year. There, in Dahab, I met my current wife.

“I would never have thought that you can live without money on a distant island”

When we got tired of Dahab, I began to look on the Internet for good places with waves. Discovered Socotra. The Internet promised a surf paradise, gigantic waves, wind. I went there, liked it very much, and decided to move with my wife. Now we are actively engaged in tourism, this year we will open the first normal restaurant in Socotra. At some point, tourists did not come at all - and we lived with virtually no money. And nothing, somehow managed. They fished and ate rice. They didn’t pay for the house, the owner said: “Okay, then pay.” The wife, of course, was shocked at first. Yes, and I would never have thought before that you can live like this, without money, on a distant island.

Now we want to eventually move to Madagascar, there are more opportunities there: you can go in for yachting, diving, windsurfing, kiting, rock climbing, spearfishing. Now I am looking for like-minded people, those who are also ready to get rid of the matrix, settle on the ocean and see the world in its natural beauty, and not the way they show us on TV.

We visit Moscow once in two years - to treat our teeth, to see our relatives. Dad, by the way, is trying to dissuade me from moving, but he understands that he cannot stop me. Yes, I had a car here for 25 thousand dollars, but every year I was sick and sat at the computer all day. And since I went to the sea, I have not been sick even once. Pension? I forgot about retirement. We don't know when we will die. And while I'm alive, I'd rather go to the sea and catch a fish.

Manager and editor turned farmers

Nika Petrova and Gleb Butorlin about routine, love for horses and escape from the city

Age: 35 years old, 34 years old
Who were: editor, manager
Who became: farmers

Nika: Someone rightly said, “Most people have a dream that they can achieve before the end of the week, and they make it a dream of a lifetime.” No need to wait: time is a non-renewable resource. My life flowed, and I flowed with it: I lived in the city, worked in the office - like everyone else. In the morning I woke up with difficulty, went to work, returned - buried myself in the TV or computer. And so from day to day. In addition, I have lived all my life in the city center, it was very difficult: you leave the entrance and immediately run into a crowd or a traffic jam. Each time is an emotional blow. All these city values ​​are not for me. I have loved nature and animals since childhood. Especially horses. My whole life is connected with them, even the last place of work - I was the deputy editor-in-chief in a hippological journal.

“The first winter was hard. In the morning it happened that it was zero degrees inside, the water was freezing.

The first thing I changed in my usual rhythm of life was to buy a horse. It is clear that a city apartment cannot contain it. There are private stables that provide boarding services - but the conditions for keeping horses in most of these stables are, to put it mildly, poor. And you could get out of work twice a week at most. For several years I wasted like this, moving from stable to stable. And then we met Gleb and decided that we needed to move out of town. There was no money at all, but despite this, we went to look at the plots for sale. We needed a large plot, at least half a hectare for a horse, plus more space for our buildings. And we found such a site, we were lucky, we agreed on an installment plan. Six months paid the cost, the year issued. Of course, we wanted to move immediately, but this year we have already managed to somehow mentally prepare and agree on a loan - then, in 2007, it was hard. We only had enough for a garden house: without a foundation, the thickness of the walls was 13 cm, but we were initially ready for difficulties. We moved in one day. I quit my job, they left the camping kit in the car - sleeping bags, dishes, clothes, flashlights - there was no electricity here. The first winter was hard. In the morning it happened that it was zero degrees inside, the water was freezing. At the same time, they didn’t have their own well for the first year - they went to the well in the village. There was no electricity for five years - they used the generator for five or six hours in the evenings. And there is still no road, so from time to time you have to overcome impassability. But we never regretted it - everything was perceived as an adventure. It's like we're on a long hike.

Gleb's parents were born and raised in the village, but then they lived and live in the city all their lives, dreaming of returning back. Gleb still goes to work in the city, but I prefer physical labor to the street, in the sun. Today I painted the fence. Enough to do. Basically all work with animals. There is a lot of care for the horse, and we also have a bunch of other animals. A donkey, three dogs, four cats, a rabbit and a rook. And everyone needs to pay attention. Another small garden. In addition, I blog about our life and take pictures of animals. All our animals are my favorite models.

Bartender turned copywriter

Pavel Greshnov about bad jokes and hell at the bar

Age: 26 years
Who was: bartender
Who became: copywriter

Actually, I'm from Saratov. The university never graduated. Honestly, I studied two courses as a psychologist-teacher, and then I got tired of it. This is my problem: if I get bored, I can’t. He became a bartender in Saratov, then moved to Moscow. I got a job in a bar on Taganka - a former casino, but in fact a coffee shop, where from alcohol - only bottled beer. At the same time, I signed up for the casting of TNT, they recruited participants for the first Comedy Battle. He came there in a T-shirt with the inscription "Secret resident of the Comedy Club" and began to read frankly bad jokes. The thought that nothing would work out was terrifying. I've been behind the counter for five years and I knew what hell it was. One day I just didn't go to work. It was scary, but - I didn’t stay in the forest! Even at the battle, I became friends with Oleg Yesenin. And he kept repeating: "You need to write." In short, Oleg called and said that I should go with him to a meeting with Nikolai Borisovich (Kartoziya. - Note. ed.). And a week later they told me that now I work as a copywriter. There is no confidence in the future yet. But I'm not going back to the bar. And if it’s strong, I’ll collect three hundred rubles from each friend on Facebook and VKontakte and leave for Goa.

Café Owner Turned Acolyte

Sergei Yakovlev on drugs, obedience and prayer

Age: 39 years
Who was: cafe owner
Who became: novice in a monastery

My friends were leaving for Africa and decided to sell their business, a cafe in Novaya Ladoga, on the cheap. They told me and my common-law wife everything, taught us everything, we started to spin. So everything went and went, money appeared, we opened a second cafe in the city of Volkhov, then a third. Then there was already extra money. And there, drugs arose - and the whole business went to dust. In almost six months, I destroyed myself. As a result, all cafes had to be sold. Then I decided to move away from drugs myself. I came out without any medication, but I was shaking very badly for three days. My wife saw that I fell into despondency, and began to take me to grandmothers. One of them said that I should live in a monastery.

It was hard at first. The Anthony-Siya Monastery near Arkhangelsk is strict, where a person is put to the test. He came to work, and they throw him into various small things, they don’t trust anything serious. But I endured it and eventually began to work at a construction site. True, I always had more work than obedience. After all, it’s like: you have to choose whether to work or pray. If you get up like monks at five in the morning, go to prayer yourself, read the rule, then there is no strength left for physical labor. Although prayer is also important, of course.

At some point, I left the monastery for St. Petersburg, worked there on the railroad, until they called me back to the monastery. It was not easy in St. Petersburg: there is drug addiction all the time and there was always the opportunity to return to this. But I recalled the words of Fr. Barsanuphius: “You try once and consider that you have lived all these years in vain.” In the monastery you calm down and come to the conclusion that you do not need it. You understand that all this is worldly, fussy, nonsense. And there it is calm and good. Every time I come, it takes my breath away.

The story of a CFO who became a lifeguard and will soon fly into space

I never thought I'd live this long. I mean, I assumed it, but until today I considered myself young. And now I turned 35. And it is worth saying that during this year - from the age of 34 to 35 - it was as if a revolution of consciousness took place in me. It didn’t happen when I turned 30, although it might happen again when I turn 40. In the meantime, here are 35 things I’ve learned in my life so far:

1. Be mindful of how you spend your time, energy, and attention. Life is an investment, not a transfer, and you are what you invest in.

2. And the best investment you can make is in other people. Talk to them more. Be kind and curious. People want to feel that they are understood - it inspires and gives strength.

3. A fulfilling life consists of four actions: gaining knowledge, creating something, gaining experience and sharing it.

4. Learning a new language is like discovering a new world. Start discovering new worlds for yourself.

5. If you want progress in life, make more decisions and take more risks. We are the sum of our decisions and choices.

6. Stop setting so many goals so often. Focus on learning, creating, experiencing and sharing. Happiness and success are side effects, not results. The process is what it is.

7. Try not to get into debt - financial and emotional. They take away your freedom and restrict you.

8. There are only four truths in life: death, change, present and love.

9. To understand these 4 truths, you need to stop telling yourself three lies: memories, thoughts and expectations. When we remove this, we can adequately prepare for death, embrace change, live in the present, and love fully.

10. Almost everything we do is to feel less lonely and more permanent.

11. With the exception of external circumstances, you can live almost every day perfectly - it all depends on your mood.

12. Share not only your success, but also the challenges on the way to achieving it. Then its value will be higher, and you will be able to understand what can be improved.

13. Don't sabotage your happiness. If everything suits you, there is no reason to create problems for yourself.

14. Sometimes it just takes time for you to become who you want to be.

15. With the exception of external circumstances, life almost always gets better. You can always find a way to improve your life.

16. Don't be afraid to break your own heart.

17. No one else can be your soul mate to complete you. You must complete yourself.

18. As soon as you start doing something out of fear that someone will leave you, at that very moment you will start to push that person away yourself.

19. People tend to come back. And if they're good, don't be afraid to take them back.

20. It would be nice to have close people whose advice you trust. You have to make your own decision, but it's good to get multiple points of view.

21. You will naturally get to where you need to be. Therefore, do not refuse when someone calls you somewhere. Enter the doors that are already open in front of you, and other doors will also open.

22. Don't be afraid to be weird if that's how you are. Don't be afraid to disappoint people. Don't live up to their expectations.

23. Be better, not louder. Do something only for yourself, and not for show on the social network. Make sure that the way you present yourself to the world is a reflection of you and not a distortion.

24. Always keep your promises and don't hesitate to apologize and warn if something you promise doesn't work out.

25. Nobody cares what you can do. They only care about what you can do for them.

26. Most of what you have been taught (by your parents, school, peers, church) is likely to be wrong. Think for yourself. Explore yourself. Be open to others.

27. Constant doubt will not lead to anything good. Research the issue to be sure.

28. Most of our important dates - graduation, wedding, major purchase - are not really important. The before and after process is important.

29. Humanity is one big organism. You are unique, but you are not exceptional. We are all afraid of loneliness. And this unites us.

31. Humility is a huge learning opportunity. The more I know, the less I know what I know.

32. The less energy you spend digesting what you feed your body, the more energy you have left for other things. Drink more water. Eat more vegetables. And you will be less tired.

33. Listen to your favorite music more often. It will help to cheer you up in almost any situation.

34. Neither your success nor your failures define you. You are what others don't see. Know yourself.

35. The right time will never come. And you never know how old you will be then. Make the most of your time now.

Reading time 6 minutes

In this article, we will talk about why it is so necessary for people over 40 to engage in self-development. What is a mid-life crisis, why does it occur and how to deal with it. People who have changed their lives after 40 gain a second youth, begin to live to the fullest.

Many people who have reached the age of 40 or more become depressed. The reason for this is social stereotypes that a person can be beautiful only in his youth. Many firms accept employees up to 30-35 years old. The crisis at this age is intensified by the fact that a person begins to try on old age, to worry about how he will look. It is at this age that many of their parents leave their lives. It reminds me of old age and makes me think that I'm next.

Many people believe that after 40 years it is too late to change something. They are embarrassed to go to courses, learn a new profession, they are afraid of condemnation. They come up with stereotypes for themselves, how a person should behave after 40, what he should achieve, how to look, etc. Many are afraid of retirement, do not understand how they will survive if they are left without a job. Against the background of these experiences and unrest, human health is deteriorating.

The main questions of the mid-life crisis are: “What have I achieved? What else can I do? Am I living right? Why did I come into this world? Why do I live? What will I leave behind? What's next for me? What needs to be changed and what can be changed? © Olga Khukhlaeva

Is it possible to change life after 40 years and how to get out of the crisis of adult life?

To get out of the crisis, it is necessary to analyze the past years and realize their value. The value is not personal achievements, but the significance of all life situations and circumstances through which one was destined to go. Thinking about his past, about his experience, a person thinks about the meaning of life, about the values ​​and priorities that he set. This leads to rethinking and reassessment of values, or vice versa, confirms that everything was done correctly.

Reassessment of values ​​pushes a person to changes and changes in life. This is magnificent. The main thing is that a person should not have a fear of changing his life after 40 years. Not only the internal needs of a person, but also external circumstances can inspire change. For example, it is during this period that adult children leave the family and grandchildren are born. One must find the positive in this. The departure of children into adulthood is not a reason to fall into depression, but an opportunity to devote more time to yourself and your loved one. Travel or change careers. You can find yourself an interesting hobby. Some people dedicate their lives to their grandchildren and feel happy again seeing a little copy of your child grow up. In many countries, families give birth to their own children after the age of 40. Why not. There is no need to be afraid of this, you will feel like young parents again.

At this age, you need to look positively at any changes. This is the age when there is enough strength, intelligence and experience to start any new business.

In addition to being grateful and accepting your past, you also need to appreciate your present. If it’s hard for you, you have a depressed mood and you don’t want anything, then write on a piece of paper everything that brings you joy. Write down everything that makes you proud and happy. This will help you keep a positive attitude.

Everything starts at 40

People who have changed their lives dramatically after 40 usually communicate a lot with young people. They share their experience, ideas and attitude to life, and young people remind by their example how to have fun, enjoy life and not be afraid of change. Such inter-age relationships are of great benefit to both parties.

It is the midlife crisis that becomes a certain stage in a person’s development, enriches him and is an impetus for self-development after 40. This is a period of maturity when a person has not only accumulated enough life experience, but is also mature enough to realize it and understand the meaning of his existence.

All people are experiencing this crisis. But it's different for everyone. Some pass it quite successfully and painlessly. This happens if a person understands how to live and where to move on.

People who have changed their lives after 40 are open to change, revealing all their hidden potential and resources. Indeed, in the first half of life, all the energy is spent on creating a family, studying and career, and after 40 years there is time to think about yourself, about your true desires and needs.

During this period, a person should focus on his inner world, engage in self-development. Self-development after 40 years will provide an opportunity to become wiser, show your creativity, and not fall into despair and depression.

How to discover new opportunities?

The soul of a person in the second half of life profoundly, surprisingly changes. But, unfortunately, most smart and educated people live unaware of the possibility of these changes. And consequently, they enter the second half of life unprepared. © K.Jung

Failure to understand these possibilities leads to the fact that a person begins to resist his age, focuses on shortcomings and breaks down on others. It is during this period that family conflicts most often arise, families fall apart, health deteriorates and professional productivity falls. But everything should be the other way around.

How can you help a person survive the crisis of 40 years? It is necessary to convey to a person that he has emotional problems, which are the cause of discord in the family and at work, conflicts with friends. These problems can be solved only through self-improvement and active work on oneself.

Since the crisis manifests itself in depression, lack of joy and fear of the future, it is necessary first of all to help a person see the sources of joy in his life and convey that happiness is a state of mind. It cannot be found somewhere outside, happiness is a person's attitude to life. It is not determined by success, money, satisfaction of all desires.

To understand this, a person needs to keep a gratitude journal. It is necessary to write down in it every day everything for which he is grateful today: for the wonderful weather, health, housing, food, beauty, peace, etc.

Let's look at a few examples of stories of real people who changed their lives after 40.

How did they do it and what exactly did they do?

Julia Child is a woman who first tasted French cuisine at 36. She was so impressed with it that she took a cooking course and studied French food until she was 51. She became internationally famous when she wrote Mastering the Art of French Cooking. An amazing film "Julie and Julia: Cooking Happiness with a Recipe" was shot about her.

Heidemarie Schwermer is known all over the world. She decided to make an experiment, whether it is possible to live life without money for a whole year. She gave away her belongings and, in exchange for food, washed windows for people, did the cleaning, and walked the dogs. She felt so free that she continued her experiment. She lived like this for 17 years, now she gives consultations and lectures about life without material values, as she is a psychotherapist by profession.

Richelle Jones lived all her life with her son, but when he grew up and moved to another city, she began to look for some meaning in life. Eventually, she enrolled in photography and web design courses and began posting photos of her cakes on the site. Now she has opened her own bakery.

Sania Sagitova from Ufa, after retiring at 55, decided she wanted to travel. At 69, she has already hitchhiked to 40 countries. She herself obtained a driver's license to help drivers along the way.

Mark Manson is an American writer who maintains his own blog. He turned to his subscribers with a request that they share their experience of how they changed their lives after 40. During such an experiment, he collected advice from all people. It turned out to be a kind of sample of collective wisdom.

1. Start taking care of your health, switch to proper nutrition, play sports. As the famous nutritionist Larisa Butkova said:
   “Unfortunately, most people live in full accordance with folk wisdom: a person remembers health when he falls ill, and begins to cherish it when he loses it. Therefore, there can be only one advice here: do not put off the "right habits" for tomorrow and do not look for excuses for yourself. It depends only on you whether your old age will be active or decrepit, and whether it will come at all.
2. Get rid of exhausting relationships. Don't waste your life on people who treat you badly.
3. Spend as much time as possible with your family and have children. It gives joy and prolongs youth.
4. Do not be afraid to start all over again, go to study and change the field of activity. Get rid of the prejudice that studying at 40 is too late. It's never too late to learn. It is better to do something and regret than to regret the rest of your life that you did not dare to do something.
5. Engage in self-development. A person who is closed to everything new begins to degrade, and becomes uninteresting either to himself or to others. You need to know yourself, reveal your inner potential, determine your true goals and desires.
6. Loving yourself means taking care of yourself, doing something nice for yourself every day. Loving yourself means accepting yourself as you are, not obsessing over the opinions of others and living your life to the fullest. Listen to your inner voice and fulfill your wildest desires and dreams.