Do men leave wives with children. Why do husbands leave the family and why do they return to it? What wives and why men leave

The departure of a husband from the family should in no way be perceived as a tragedy of a universal scale. This is a stage in your life, albeit not the brightest one. But nothing is done just like that - all the events of our life are given to us for some kind of lesson. So from the divorce, you need to draw the necessary conclusions, perhaps change something in yourself and start a new stage in life.

To our great regret, divorce proceedings are now more and more common. But everyone reacts to them differently. If they sat down, discussed everything and decided to disperse by mutual agreement, then the separation is experienced much easier. But when the news of the divorce thunders like a bolt from the blue, when the girl did not suspect her husband's desire to leave the family and wants a social unit - in such cases, the destruction of the family for the wife is very painful.

How do you deal with this? The most important thing is to survive the current situation with dignity and in the future not to become embittered by the entire strong half of humanity.

The first step for the spouse will be to completely isolate oneself from the one who betrayed her. If a woman feels like a half of her husband, she will never be able to stop thinking about him, which means she will not be able to start a new life.

Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity must understand for themselves that henceforth their paths are with a once loved one. And for this you need to get rid of all things that remind you of living together, and even more so from objects that are associated with some kind of pleasant memories. No need to review shared photos or videos. For a while, you should refuse to meet with mutual friends and acquaintances.

Girls must come to terms with the fact that her husband preferred her.

There is no need to try to immediately knock out the "wedge with a wedge". Finding something new for love immediately after parting will give nothing. On the contrary, you will do exactly the same as your spouse did - use someone for your own purposes, playing on his feelings.

The next step after accepting the situation is to distract from negative thoughts. Whatever one may say, but they will periodically cover a single woman. The easiest way is to change your appearance for the better. Agree, the depressive mood will only increase if, in the mirror image, the girl sees a tired person with a sloppy and unkempt appearance, and besides, she is also fat.

You can change something dramatically in your appearance. For example, to change or, to make a tattoo of lips, eyebrows; update your wardrobe. At this time, you are not only distracted, but also work for the future - as soon as the blues passes, a beautiful lady will be waiting for you in the reflection, ready for new love achievements.

The option to plunge headlong into professional activity is not considered the most suitable for representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. Usually men do this when they want to forget. But this method of distraction should not be ruled out. Perhaps it is at work that you will meet your new one.

We recommend getting a pet if you haven't had one before. Better to let it be a dog. First, it is a symbol of devotion. And secondly, this animal requires at least two walks a day, which makes it possible to walk more in the fresh air, improving your physical fitness and being distracted from pressing problems.

Sports activities will help you to distract yourself. Moreover, you can choose a rather unusual sport. Thanks to this change of occupation, you will begin to look at life in a new way. Plus, an improved figure cannot but rejoice and give in itself. Such activities have another advantage - meeting and communicating with new people.

What you can't do when breaking up with your spouse is to be alone. Imprisonment in four walls has not helped anyone survive the problems. Meet with friends, colleagues, relatives as often as possible.

How to behave with a child if the husband left the family?

Problems increase if a woman is left not only abandoned, but also with a child in her arms. In this case, all responsibility for the baby falls on her shoulders, so there is no time for depression.

In no case should you hide the situation from your child c. You need to immediately state everything as it is. You can not limit the communication of the baby with the father. After all, the husband left the family, but not the father.

You can't turn a child against dad, and even more so forbid them to see each other. Let your child grow up and decide for himself whether he will keep in touch with his father. However, when dad and baby meet in your home, set clear rules for both your ex-husband and yourself. At such moments, the man in front of you is just the father of your child. You don't need to rely on a relationship and try to somehow get your husband back - he made his choice.

Try to make sure that your child's life does not change when the father leaves. Continue to play with him, study, drive to different sections.

There are a few simple steps you can take to help yourself get over the breakup with your loved one.

1. Get rid of negative emotions. To do this, you can cry, shout. But the main thing is that no one should bother you. If you do not throw out the negativity from yourself, it will reach out for you in your future life and interfere with your life.
2. Try to understand the reason for leaving your spouse. This will help you avoid these mistakes in the future.
3. Try to do something constantly. It is necessary to set goals and be sure to achieve them. Then you will have something to love and respect yourself for.
4. Don't stop perfecting yours. This side also needs to be worked on daily.
5. Take a blank piece of paper and write on it anything that you disliked or annoyed about your spouse. Then reread your notes, and more than once. You will be surprised how much negativity has gone with your husband from your life. From now on, there is no need to be angry at someone, swear, try to fix something.
6. Things that remind you of your husband can not only be thrown away, but, for example, burned or beaten. Thus, you will get another way to throw out all your negativity. The apartment can be renovated or at least rearranged. Even such a trifle will refresh the sensations of life.

How do men feel after leaving the family?

Even if the spouse himself was the initiator of the divorce, do not think that this decision was easy for him. It is more difficult for the strong half of humanity also because they cannot completely throw out their emotions, but keep everything in themselves.

So, what is going on in the soul of a departed husband?

• he feels loss. One way or another, he lived with you some part of his life and therefore feels that something is missing in his new life;
• fear of making a mistake. The spouse is still afraid that by leaving the family, he may make an irreparable mistake;
• bitterness for the lost years. Sometimes, unfortunately, a man realizes that he was not happy with his wife and regrets that he did not dare to change his personal life for the better before.

The family does not break up just like that at one moment. It does not happen in life so that "yesterday" everything was still good, lived and lived, made good money. And “today” the husband packed his things and left in an unknown (or as often happens in a known) direction. And if a woman claims that this is exactly what happened, then she is disingenuous (to put it mildly), simply not wanting to wash dirty linen in public.

A man will never just leave. Before deciding on such a serious step, he will weigh everything and think it over a thousand times. And if, nevertheless, he decides to leave, then everything really "got enough" and there are very specific justified reasons for this.

A woman lives more with feelings than with her mind. She is not very capable of pretending, and if she has lost interest in a man, and especially if she has someone, then she makes a decision instantly, since she is used to living by sensations, listening more to her heart, and not to her mind. It's just that at one point she realizes that she can no longer and, most importantly, does not want to spend her life on this person. He was tired of her worse than a bitter radish with his "quirks" (drunkenness, partying), and she doesn't want to see him again, not hear him.

In a man, reason almost always takes precedence over feelings. It is very rare to hear that "he lost his head from love", basically such a phrase is said about women. If a man decides to leave the family, then believe me - it’s enough, it’s impossible to endure anymore. A man is so arranged that he is quite satisfied with living a double life, having a wife and a mistress; in such a triple union, he can live until one of the parties rebelled. And even then, a man cannot immediately decide to break with one of the women. He will pull to the last. And if the wife is smart, with her patience, tact, endurance and affection, she will decide the issue in her favor. But what strength (both moral and physical) will it cost?

So in order to avoid such unpleasant situations in your life, you must initially not make mistakes and behave correctly. To do this, you need to know four main reasons that can provoke a man to leave the family. The rest of the reasons are secondary. In any case, psychologists say so.

Reason # 1. Loss of interest.

Here you must always remember that a man is a hunter - he came, he saw, he won. He has the instinct of a conqueror, his goal is to conquer a woman and subdue her. But what happens after a woman literally "dissolves" in a man, becomes a housewife? Understand that it is difficult to have respect for a person who is completely dependent on you. With all that feelings fade away, and the woman ceases to be a mystery, this is inevitable. She becomes boring for him, not interesting, since her life is limited by four walls, constantly “Groundhog Day”.

Add to this constant control and "pilezhka", continuous criticism and instructions in an orderly tone: "Wash your hands!", "Take out the bucket!", "Go for bread!" The teams are like in the army. And when you are commanded, what do you want to do? At least run away.

What to do? Do not become a general in your own house or a domestic slave, even when you are forced to stay at home on maternity leave. Do not focus only on your homework, keep developing, pursue your career by communicating with your work colleagues, develop intellectually. Take care of yourself, go to beauty salons, do not be a "real" housewife in a torn robe and with a pair of hair curlers on your head. This is a stereotype, but only in your will to dispel this image of a disheveled housewife.

Go out “into the world” without your husband, he should know that apart from your family life, you also have your own personal life. He must see and understand that the wife is interesting to people, especially other men. This is where the male hunter, the male conqueror comes in again. He must conquer you again.

Reason # 2. A man lacks love.

Surprised? And remember, please, when was the last time you spoke to your beloved about your love? When did you just sit, embracing, and talking heart to heart? When was the last time you went to the cinema, to a cafe? Do something cute for your man. It is not at all difficult for you to do this, but he will be pleased.

Didn't you say to your husband: “But Katya (Mani, Tanya )'s husband gave her a fur coat, and they are going to the Emirates. That's what a fine fellow. And you can't even buy me boots. " Wasn't it?

Never compare your husband to another man, never! This humiliates him as a man and kills his self-esteem. Such words repeated several times can finally convince a man of your indifference and push him to look for another woman who will appreciate and accept him as he really is.

Reason number 3. The wife becomes a mother, and ceases to be a beloved woman.

There are two patterns of behavior in wives.

First: the role of the mother hen. No wonder such a name, because a wife rushes about with her adult husband like a hen and an egg. She communicates with him as with a small child, trying to please in everything, protecting him from any troubles. And God forbid, someone will offend her "child"! She will breastfeed to protect him.

Second: the role of the strict mother of a teenager. Nothing escapes her sharp-sighted gaze, scandals on any occasion, follows every step and demands constant account not only of money, but also where you have been, with whom, when you will be at home, etc.

When you meet such couples, you always feel pity for the man. Do you think, well, how did you manage to marry such a madam? Where were your eyes before? This relationship is more like dog training (sorry men!). But if it is possible and even necessary to train dogs, then training a man is useless and will not lead to anything good. If a man is weak, he will "bend" and endure this hell all his life, and at some point the woman herself will get bored with all this drill. And if a man is strong, brutal, then he will get tired of it very quickly and he will fade from such a Cerberus, only his heels will sparkle.

Reason number 4. Scandals will lead you to divorce.

Do not feed some women with bread - let them scandalize. As a rule, a scandal begins with some trifle. Not receiving any violent reaction in return, the scandal continues on an increasing scale and ends in a storm. Moreover, SHE is the director, screenwriter and performer of the main role. It is actually a tempest in a teacup. And the more such storms there are in the house, the more likely it is to say that a man will not stand it for a long time - he will leave.

Here you need to understand the psychology of a man. Men by nature do not like scandals (I'm talking about real men). This constant "pilezh" throws them off balance. He wants to come to “his safe haven” so that there will be complete calm, and not a storm of 12 points. To avoid scandals, a man will first come home later, staying late at work or with friends. This is the first bell. If you ignore him, after a while he will not come home for the night, having come up with something "smart". This is the second bell. If you miss him, then there will be no third call - he will collect his things and leave.

What to do?

First, pull yourself together, learn to count to ten before yelling. They say it helps.

Second, learn to compromise. If this is an unintended scandal, but a serious situation, listen to your soul mate and try to understand and hear what he is talking about. If you think differently (and you have the right to do so) - look for a way out, a compromise. But look for it together and not with the help of the "tinned throat" when the membranes burst from your screaming.

Thirdly, learn to praise your man, say nice words to him - men love it, they inspire him. When a woman believes in her man, he will move mountains.

Fourthly, create such an atmosphere in the house so that he flies home on the wings of love, but does not want to leave the house.
Understand, finally, everyone has shortcomings, including you (it is not yet known who has more of them). And he has them, but he also has dignity. So try to see the virtues without paying attention to the small flaws. In the end, you fell in love with him with these shortcomings. What happened next? From what you began to see only continuous flaws?
Think ...

There are always two to blame for a conflict. And if you are trying to push everything onto a man, it means that you do not see the log in your eye. Or maybe you missed something somewhere? Maybe you should learn to forgive, be more tolerant and not rush to burn bridges? Maybe for a start it is worth trying to change something in yourself?

It seemed that nothing boded trouble: your marriage seemed quite happy. But the irreparable happened, and you are already crying alone, not understanding why the man leaves the family, so beloved and seemingly reliable. Should we blame ourselves for what happened or console ourselves with the thought that "all men are goats"? Should I try to get it back, or calm down and try my luck with someone else?

When a parent dies, the child experiences deep sadness and loss of affection, when his father leaves the family, becomes upset and ends up in an indictment. I probably did something wrong as my dad doesn't love me and doesn't live with me anymore. He begins to feel that he is worse than him because he does not deserve his father's love. It becomes destructive for him.

Such a child is devoid of the foundation of his personality - something very basic. This is a deep need - they want to know who their second parent is. Therefore, if a child is deprived of his father, it is not only the source of his human identity, but also the source of love. Daughters without fathers often have early sexual intercourse, have children born out of wedlock, and get married if possible at all. Looking for what she didn't get from her father.

Myths about why men leave families

First, let's dispel your possible misconceptions about why a man leaves their families, where they love him so much. These reasons may be imposed on you by women's magazines or your own girlfriends.

• Myth 1

He left to get freedom. Do you want to think that he left because family life limited him in what he could enjoy before marriage: in unrestrained partying with friends, in close communication with other women, in the absence of children constantly demanding attention. However, this is not entirely true: men will never go “nowhere”. Most likely, he has a "spare front" in the form of a woman who understands him much better than you.

And how does the absence of a father affect boys? Could this phenomenon be associated with homosexuality? This is so widely viewed by the scientific community. No one can tell without risking a violent attack. The father is the most important person who helps his son understand this. If he is absent, the boy looks for answers to this question elsewhere - in a peer group and in all other places, it is often bad. He can then absorb what is perceived today as a stereotype of masculinity.

On the contrary, a father, by his own example, can convey to him the idea that being a strong person means caring for and protecting the weak, taking into account the needs of others and treating them with respect. In your book, you refer to a study by the Polish anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski on fatherhood as a factor in the formation of human civilization.

• Myth 2

• Myth 3

After your breakup, your husband becomes the desired "prey" for girls with matrimonial plans. You think that as soon as you get a divorce, women will attack yours, wanting to hook him up as soon as possible. It is quite possible that it will be so, but it is unlikely that a man who has just finished a serious relationship will rush to tie himself again by marriage.

Malinovsky made a great discovery, which he called the principle of legitimacy. A common feature of cultures is the desire of society to allow parents to recognize its own offspring. The father recognizes his child and is obliged to help the mother in his care and upbringing.

This not only guarantees the biological survival of the offspring, but also ensures that the child becomes a person with a special character - he prepares them for life. Don't moms teach kids how to live? Mothers and fathers complement each other. When they work together as a team, the child gets everything he needs. However, if one parent is absent, the child loses.

Try to ignore such thoughts and look at the situation more soberly.

Why did he leave? Real reasons.

Now let's talk about why men actually leave the family. Let's take a look at the situation from their side.

For most divorces, there are many conflicts, bitterness and betrayal, recriminations, inability to cooperate, remarry, or leave one parent to the other. All this destroys the psyche of the child. He feels abandoned and betrayed.

Children often have problems in school, drugs, drugs, gangs or sects, or other problems. If the father lives in the house, but does not have a close relationship with his child, he does not pay attention and does not show love, the psychological consequences for the child are as bad as when the father leaves the house.

You ceased to be interesting to him

Perhaps sexually, maybe as an interlocutor. The rule that a woman should be "a little smarter than a monkey" in serious, and even more so in marriage, does not work. You should be smart enough, but not smarter than him. And sexual compatibility is also important, without harmonious "bed" relationships, the marriage will collapse even faster.

One thing we can predict when boys are born is that they will make babies. But the way they behave after the birth of a child is rather a result of culture and depends primarily on how society tells them what it means to be a man and a father. When society gives the signal: we don't care what you do with the children, most mothers stay, but many fathers leave.

If we, as a society, would not agree with the absence of fathers, our attitude towards divorce or the decision of children by single mothers would be different. This has changed a bit, because as the next generation arrives, people become increasingly aware of the detrimental consequences of the absence of fathers - both for society and for the individual. This trend is determined by popular culture.

Incompatibility of characters

“Disagreement” is the most common reason given in applications for divorce. Differences in temperaments, attitudes towards life, in habits: all this inevitably leads to a break.

Your incontinence

Don't confuse incontinence with unpredictability. If you were often unable to remain silent and fiercely defended your point of view, could shout at him over trifles, break your bad mood on him, then do not be surprised why your man left the family.

The whole idea is based on violence, predation and rivalry. Young boys do not teach in the home, environment, religion that this concept of masculinity is false. What made this image of a "real person" today? The rich turn their faith in God and moral values ​​into money in faith.

We have more and more personal freedoms, philosophies that do not attach importance to family obligations, we are becoming an increasingly individualistic society. Nobody wants to sacrifice others? Not for any moral idea more important than their own self. He said: Well, we really don't know much because most of them are quite young, they don't take care of themselves, they don't eat right, they don't have close and warm contacts, so this is not a strategy of wise people, even if they brag about many victims Unfortunately, for many of them, this is the only way to prove they are men, because they are no longer taught.

In the past, your behavior was quite "easy"

Only men are forgiven for frequent change of partners and “mistakes of youth”. Society of women condemns this kind of behavior. And for men, public opinion is incredibly important, although they never admit it. So, it is quite possible that, having learned about your stormy premarital life, he will leave.

Why does men need so much to prove their masculinity? For a man, this is very embarrassing and makes him anxious about his sexual identity. This uncertainty requires continuous "verification". Unfortunately, many boys receive a message from society and often from their fathers that beating a wife is proving powerful. Violence is attractive to men because they are naturally prone to aggression. Therefore, if society does not support the desired image of a person and a father, then only this primitive side of male identity develops.

You blame all your problems on him

Of course, your husband should support you in difficult situations. But if all your communication comes down to your constant complaints and whining, then sooner or later he will get bored with it.

You have "run" yourself

It is always imperative that the social message is that selfishness, lack of responsibility and violence are not the right way to express masculinity. The point is, we have to teach them to understand themselves and allow some of the masculine nature to pierce the surface. Therefore, if we want boys to grow up to be good husbands and good fathers, we must pay more attention to their upbringing.

Today we have stopped educating boys, we are teaching them the opposite, in addition to the flirtatious. The assumption that someone lucky enough to get whatever they want is happy is simply not true. We must definitely return to teaching boys how to behave culturally and responsibly. It is difficult to understand the reasons why women stay with abusive people.

Do not think that it was enough to like him at the very beginning of your relationship. Do you think that if he fell in love with you when you were a slender and well-groomed beauty, he will not stop loving you, even if your weight approaches the figure "100", and the set of clothes will be limited to shapeless chlamys? Get lost further. Until the moment he leaves you for a seductive young lady who does not hesitate to visit the gym and beauty salons.

Yet many women do not come from "these types", although acts of violence are repeated and intensified. Violence is not only a serious physical injury, a rescue expedition, it also repels family and friends, lives in eternal fear, intimidates children, gets the right to a decent life, repeated police calls, death threats.

This could be the way to live a safe life

Women are treated as plaintiffs for many reasons. There are several categories of female victims that share many characteristics. The natural desire for most people is to establish a close and secure relationship with their partner. Being safe in a dangerous relationship does not mean physical or emotional satisfaction. Safety means living in well-known conditions. At first glance, it seems that it is easier to accept this known evil than the good, which is vague and alien.

You are wasteful

Of course, the man is the financial stronghold of the family. But by giving you your salary, he expects that you will manage your money wisely, and will not waste it on all sorts of nonsense.

No matter how much you would like to admit it, you will have to come to terms with the fact that in most cases of a man leaving the family, the woman is to blame. Therefore, start looking for the reasons in yourself, and do not blame him, such a scoundrel who left you to the mercy of fate.

There are women who often marry alcoholics. During the therapy session, we analyzed the life of one patient. She was married seven times, each time an alcoholic. Throughout her life, she only once had a relationship with a person who was not an alcoholic. She admitted that she really felt great in her company, but his wife was not there.

She grew up in an alcoholic family. She learned from her mother to be a good alcoholic wife. She could only live in a pathological family. Why do such women worry about a different life? Let's take an example: your space is occupied by a spaceship, from which funny green people emerge. You will scare them, despite assurances that they are friendly creatures. What will you do if they bring you life on a planet free of suffering? Will you leave everything and go?

What does a woman need to be happy? So that she has a beloved man who would reciprocate her. And also family, children, soulfulness and confidence in the future. In our youth, we all dream of a man who is impeccable in all respects, and then we marry his complete opposite. Real life is far from your dreams and often prepares surprises for us.

Probably not, because you don't know if you can trust them, you don't know what you can expect. You will be where you are, with creditors knocking on the door, with a roof leak, mother-in-law, unemployed people you are struggling with, prostitute daughters and son in jail.

It seems clear that a woman who is bitter, who must hide bruises under heavy makeup, who sporadically takes occasional medical attention, knows that she is a victim of domestic violence. She seemed surprised: why? After all, this is a place for victims of domestic violence. Women who activate the "denial mechanism" are fairly common. They don't call themselves "victims of violence." Their husbands' friends may be beaten and tortured. They understand that these women are victims, but they do not perceive themselves, despite repeated brutal actions.

As long as there are men and women, the topic of jealousy and betrayal will remain relevant. Let's figure out what pushes men to such actions, since it is the husband's infidelity that is the reason why women turn to me for individual advice.

Why do they change? With all the outward frivolity, many men strive for a constant and reliable, kind and affectionate, loving and caring woman. It is they only in words "would come down from the mountains and slowly ... the whole herd." Most normal men strive for the stability and reliability of their family. But punctures also happen. Why?

There are women who have never experienced peace and happiness. They don't know that this is possible. Women who remain in abusive relationships may think they don't deserve love or happiness. They are convinced that they are rightfully experiencing violence, not love.

Violence is not just beating, but humiliating and humiliating. Everyone knows that you are crazy. You are very lucky to be with you. For women who are unsure, have doubts about their ability, such derogatory remarks can deepen wrong, unfair self-esteem. They can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Women agree to everything because they no longer count on anything else.

Each of you, first of all, is interested in why my husband is cheating, while the neighbor and husband of a friend are faithful to their wives? If my husband still hasn't cheated on me, then what could be a potential cause, and how to prevent it? Can adultery be avoided? How should we treat them?

Reasons for cheating

Cheating is usually triggered by some unmet need.

This “nobody loves me” attitude is deepened by low self-esteem and strong feelings of guilt. Some women accuse themselves of violence. They are convinced that they did something that caused aggression from their partners. They believe that the beating was a just and just punishment.

Sometimes the torturers try to completely subdue the victim, completely controlling it. The film A Dream with an Enemy shows this type of criminal: if the wife hangs with a towel or puts cans differently than he wanted, she met her punishment - the man hit hard for some mistake. You can also include performers in this category who are obsessed with jealousy. They are convinced that their wives are still cheating and betraying them. They leave them alone at home, without contact with family or friends. They demand that they only take care of their own needs and wants.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Due to the difference in temperament of the spouses. This brings discord into the everyday relationships of the spouses, irritation arises on both sides. In such families, husbands often start drinking, lose interest in family affairs, start looking for a more attractive mistress, and may even file for divorce.

Sex athletes

There are not many of them, but they exist and come across unfortunate women. They vitally need regular "victories" over members of the opposite sex. They cannot be condemned, for the reason for their behavior is their nature. The life of such people takes place in bars and discos, where you can find a partner for the night. A characteristic feature of these people is the frequent change of partners.

Romance

There is a group of men who seek to experience additional pleasure. Spend an evening with friends, girlfriends, have fun, and if you're lucky, then get something new. To look up close at slender legs, new tights, catch the mysterious smells of skin and hair, listen to sensual conversations - this is what attracts such men.

Coincidence

Some men cheat because of a coincidence. However, like women. The same notorious business trip or vacation in Sochi for 3 nights. I do not advise you to tell your spouse about the betrayal. Why tell him something that had no consequences? If you love your husband, then you should not talk about it, so as not to hurt him. It is impossible to hide only what cannot be hidden, and what, in the long run, may harm the family. Your pregnancy is from someone else, you have fallen out of love with your husband, but you are afraid to admit it, etc. But from a one-time confession, unpleasant consequences can arise: scandal, jealousy, divorce, or worse. Do you need it?

General fatigue from marriage

If a marriage is built on a stereotypical relationship, fatigue sets in and you want to go left. The spouses do not see a gap in life. Gray everyday life is not brightened up with anything. The scheme “home - work - home” does not break, and this is gradually carried over to sexual relations. Sex turns into boredom and also proceeds according to the scheme: short foreplay - orgasm - sleep. And if sometimes you are not able to change the living conditions, place of work, profession, then you can change the conditions of your sexual life without much difficulty.

Fanatics

It happens that in extramarital affairs they enter out of a sense of respect, admiration, even fanaticism. For example, girls who are fans of pop artists.

Office romances

Relationship schemes can be very diverse. Some of them take on the character of overt coercion.

Search for the eternal ideal

A man outside the family is looking for what he does not receive in the house. A woman is also looking for her ideal in her lover, which does not consist in the length and thickness of the male organ, but in a thousand little things that are sometimes simply incomprehensible to outsiders. "There is nothing in it!" "What did he find in her?" We often hear this.

Sex in friendships

It often happens along the way. Friends of the opposite sex, often communicating with each other, begin to cross the boundaries originally established in communication between strangers. The relationship development scheme looks like this. Couples are friends. Communicate often. After a while, someone begins to understand that he loves or simply “wants” another. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes it happens after a long time. And their life is filled with new secret joys.

Treason as revenge

Women are often pushed into extramarital affairs by revenge for treason or a bad attitude from her husband. From the moment of her husband's betrayal, a woman has a moral right to respond in kind. And the woman is also driven by pain, from which she hopes to be freed through revenge. But, as a rule, this revenge leads women into an even greater impasse.

Emotional estrangement of spouses

Often, adultery occurs when family relationships are reminiscent of the Ice Palace. In this kingdom of eternal ice, they never swear, walls do not melt from the heat of passions. The limits of decency are respected. Guests do not go to the sad palace. Sex happens only according to the plan and strictly in the time allotted for this. An emotional wife will silently hate a restrained, unperturbed husband.

Making money

There are many women (and more recently, many men) for whom extramarital sex is a way to make money. For money, married professional prostitutes have sex. There are wives who only earn money by this, receiving money or expensive gifts. The family does not know about additional income. Some of these women are highly educated, with advanced degrees. Outwardly, these are attractive, fit, sleek women.

Cheating caused by love can probably be justified. If it is about love, and not about falling in love. Sex in this case is, as it were, a self-evident detail in the complex mechanism of human relations based on love.

It happens!

Real case:

One man, leaving his wife to live with his mistress, said: "Look, do not walk here without me ... I will most likely be back soon."

It is very difficult to be a happy woman, but it is necessary, because they return to such people, they are loved, they are sung serenades and given the moon.

Svetlana Melnikova

Hello dear readers!

This article is dedicated to the question, why husbands leave wives? In our time, marriage has become worthless. Men shamelessly leave their wives and children, and women do not consider it necessary to maintain relationships that have undergone the slightest test.

People have ceased to believe in values, they lie, evade the answer, are afraid to take responsibility for another person. Why do men decide to break off long-term relationships? This is what we have to figure out.

See also How to improve family relationships with your husband is, unfortunately, a topical issue for a huge number of women. In a society far from traditional family values, where the wife is the keeper of the hearth, and the husband is the breadwinner, protector and master, disagreements within married couples are inevitable.

• Women are sure that the other is to blame for the breakup.

Statistics suggest otherwise. Of course, such cases are not uncommon. If a man decided to take such a serious step and left for another woman, then it is not possible to return the old relationship.

The period when the spouse leaves, especially after long years of marriage, is the most difficult for women. Do not dwell on what happened, perhaps fate has prepared a gift for you, the main thing is not to miss it.

A wife who finds out that her husband has a mistress should understand that this affair means nothing to him. Otherwise, he would have left the family long ago. It remains to decide whether you can forgive him for betrayal and how to continue to live with this knowledge?

• Husbands often leave their wives when they realize that their aspirations do not coincide.

They did not agree in character, so many ladies justify parting with a loved one. Different characters are the tip of the iceberg, a woman's habits, her temperament, and lack of mutual respect affect the husband's departure from the family. Does it make sense to hold on to a relationship that, apart from hassle, brings nothing?

• A man leaves his wife if he loses interest in her.

A limited woman is not able to maintain a conversation, she is able to attract attention, but she cannot keep it for a long time. Men love smart, wise, self-respecting women. Often, wives, under the influence of problems, circumstances, stop caring for themselves.

Daily worries deprive them of time that can be spent on themselves. Never put your spouse's needs ahead of your own. Believe me, a man will not appreciate it. Take care of your appearance, do manicure and pedicure, do not go home in worn-out slippers and an untidy dressing gown. Remember, men love with their eyes.

• The heavy atmosphere in the house is the reason for the man to leave the woman.

Many married couples are so immersed in problems that they stop enjoying life, smiling at each other, admiring and giving compliments. Everyday life undermines even the strongest relationships. It is important that a woman is in a good mood, because the weather in the house depends on her mood.

• It happens that two people feel alienated from each other.

Irritation, scandals and quarrels over and without him settle in the house. In this case, you will have to make compromises, find out the reason for the partner's irritability, have a heart-to-heart talk without screaming and mutual accusations.

Whatever the reason for your husband's departure from the family, fight if you clearly understand that he is worth it. On the contrary, if you are in doubt, it is better to leave it as it is, life itself will put everything on the shelves. Sometimes, the departure of a man opens the door for a woman to a new, happier life.

Often, the breakup of a relationship provokes sexual dissatisfaction. It happens that it is difficult for a man to admit his desires. He is afraid that his wife will not support his fantasies.

It is difficult to hide true feelings, so many men turn to representatives of ancient professions for help or have mistresses who are ready to go to any experiments.

It also happens that husbands ask back, and at the most inopportune moment. There are reasons for this.

Habit is second nature. Even if the spouse left for another, he will involuntarily remember his first wife. Over time, all the bad things will be forgotten, only bright moments will remain in the memory. Men inclined to idealization will definitely remember how it all began, what difficulties they had to endure, what they achieved together. If life with a new wife turns out to be not as rosy as expected, a man may ask back, promising eternal love and fidelity.

People tend to reassess values ​​with age. Endless family squabbles provoke active actions. Men pack their bags and get poisoned towards a new, happier life.

But expectations are sometimes disappointing. At first, it is convenient to live with a mother, but an independent person is unlikely to be satisfied with constant maternal care. We have to remember the values ​​again, returning to the beloved and not so harmful woman.

In some cases, husbands leave their wives for educational purposes. Thus, they are trying to convey their truth, put in place, make you worry. It is good when wives are condescending to such measures of influence. Sometimes, for a man, his own upbringing measures end up unprofitable. He comes home, and no one is waiting for him there.

Women tend to forgive their husbands and accept them back, forgetting about pride and self-respect. Dear ladies, remember, it is much easier to prevent the departure of a loved one than to forgive the committed betrayal towards you.

There are many tips on how to keep a loved one. But, everything is easier than you think. Do not take out the negative on your spouse, it is wiser to talk to him, talk about feelings and experiences.

Representatives of the strong half of humanity are not inclined to excessive manifestation of feelings, but if there is an interesting interlocutor nearby in the person of his wife, why not talk? Do not forget to praise the man, surprise him. The man will see your efforts and begin to take the initiative.