"A guy likes my girlfriend": advice from a psychologist for a difficult situation. All the guys like my girlfriend My man likes my girlfriend

“The guy likes my girlfriend, should I continue the relationship with him?” - with this question girls often turn to a psychologist for advice. For young girls, this situation seems difficult and almost insoluble. Meanwhile, it is quite simple to solve it.

“My boyfriend likes my girlfriend, what should I do?” - psychologists often hear from young girls. In fact, this situation is not uncommon.

Many young people encounter this problem.

In order to find a way out of this situation, it is necessary to analyze it. First you need to understand why the girl decided that the guy still likes her friend. Perhaps he showed her some signs of attention or she noticed his glances in her direction. Sometimes girls find out about it from mutual friends or girlfriends. If suspicions about the young man's sympathy remain only guesses, then you should not dramatize the situation. Of course, this is very unpleasant, but at the same time you need to understand that a person has the right to look at other women, to note their attractiveness. It's quite normal. The most important thing is that this does not develop into real sympathy.

If a girl is very worried about this, then perhaps she should try to communicate less with her friend and boyfriend at the same time. You need to pay attention to your boyfriend, and not come on a date with a friend. This is especially true at the very beginning of a relationship. Some girls specifically invite beautiful girlfriends to see how the guy will react to them. This is not entirely correct. You should try not to create situations that you might later regret. If the girlfriend is much more beautiful and attractive, and the relationship with the guy is not yet very strong, or is just beginning to be tied, then it is not surprising that he can choose another.

At the very beginning of a relationship, you do not need to once again introduce him to girls. If a friend herself begins to show interest in a guy, then communication with her should be stopped. Before that, it is advisable to talk to her about this and say that such behavior is unacceptable. Perhaps a friend misunderstood the situation. Sometimes girls speak of their boyfriend as another hobby, and a friend, thinking that such a relationship is very frivolous, begins to flirt with the boyfriend. If you immediately tell her that the attitude towards the guy is more than serious, then perhaps such incidents will not happen again and the friend will try to find her happiness elsewhere, and not make eyes at the guy in the relationship.

If a friend has not stopped flirting with a young man after a serious conversation with her, you should immediately stop communicating with her. With such a person, further friendship and mutual trust are simply impossible, and one should not create illusions about this.

There are times when a friend has absolutely nothing to do with it. She does not pay attention to the young man, but he constantly looks after her and it is clear from the side that he likes her.

If, at the same time, the young man does not make any attempts to invite his girlfriend somewhere, make a date with her and tries not to openly show his feelings, you need to stop meeting everyone together, and then act according to the situation.

Don't be angry with your friend. She, perhaps, also does not like the attention of the gentleman very much. At the same time, she is very scared to lose a loved one in the face of a friend. If women are not hiding anything from each other, then it may be worth talking frankly and directly telling a friend why they need to stop communicating together.

If a guy is dating a girl, but at the same time shows sympathy for her friend openly, you should immediately end the relationship with him. This is completely unacceptable. Life with him will be accompanied by constant scandals and betrayals. Of course, he has the right to fall in love with another, but at the same time, if his feelings for his girlfriend are serious, he must first talk to his girlfriend, confess to her his sympathy for the other. Even if a guy is shy about such a frank conversation, he just needs to first part with his soul mate, and then show signs of attention to other women. He cannot help but understand that by showing his girlfriend obsessive signs of attention, he painfully wounds his beloved.

Many women admit that situations in which guys go to the women they know hurt the most. Even in the relationship between close friends, there is a moment of rivalry. If a guy leaves a girl and chooses her friend, he kind of shows that she is much better, more beautiful than his chosen one.

A girl who has experienced such a betrayal should never blame herself for everything. From this, her self-esteem can fall very much. But a certain lesson from the situation is still worth taking. Perhaps you need to pay more attention to yourself, your appearance, and also spend more time with your boyfriend. In the future, you need to choose more loyal and responsible young people for yourself. You need to believe in the earliest possible acquisition of happiness in your personal life, and then such a person will appear very soon.

Typically, love triangles destroy both love feelings and friendships. But don't worry about what happened. A guy who pays attention to other women so easily will most likely not be a faithful family man, and after all, every girl wants to find a good husband first of all.

If the guy drew attention to his girlfriend, you should stop their communication. If the situation has already gone too far, then it may be worth giving up such a relationship. Most likely, they will not lead to anything good. It is very important for a girl to maintain her self-esteem.

First, you shouldn't take it personally. Put aside thoughts like “it means I’m worse”, “my girlfriend is prettier”, “all because I am fat / thin / tall / snub-nosed”, “nobody likes me and will grow old surrounded by forty cats”! All this only hurts your self-esteem. But the feeling of one's own attractiveness is one of the sexiest qualities. Self-confident people are always attractive. Fortunately, everyone has different tastes, and if your new acquaintance drew attention to your girlfriend, it only means that she is in his taste.

Do not dwell on him and do not try to divert his attention to yourself. Rivalry can easily destroy both friendships and your self-confidence. If he is seriously interested in your friend, then your attempts will be unsuccessful, and you will be even more disappointed.

Better go on a date with someone who has been looking at you with interest for a long time or wait for a new interesting acquaintance.

Friend

Better to confess to her right away. Indeed, by the word girlfriend, we mean a close and dear person. Weaving behind your back is definitely not worth it, but even if you are just sad about the cruelty of this world and do nothing, it is better to be frank with her. A true friend will always support. In addition, she will not tell you in paints how he cut her phone off.

He

If you do not intend to retreat into any, then try to look at the situation objectively. Perhaps he pays attention to your girlfriend, because she flirts with him with might and main, while you are embarrassed, buried in your phone? Hint to him about your sympathy: maybe he likes you too, but your friend is open to communication, and you are not. Just do not overdo it with the initiative: let the man take the first step.

Everything is serious

Do you regard your emotions as love, and your life has turned into sheer suffering because of an unrequited feeling? Think well: maybe you get masochistic pleasure from being in eternal sorrow? Maybe you are afraid to open up to new full-fledged relationships and are looking for salvation in this unhappy love. If you absolutely cannot unwind and pay attention to other young people, try to visit a psychologist. Sometimes a look from the outside helps to sort things out. And you will stop wasting time with a person who does not reciprocate to you.

Hello! My name is Lisa, I am 16 years old. I have a problem, all the guys from my social circle like my girlfriend, although outwardly we are even similar, both are cute, and we communicate the same way, many say so. And every time we meet someone, everyone likes a friend. At such moments, depression begins, there is no mood, I do not know what to do with it. I understand that you need to somehow not get hung up on this, but it does not work. Please tell me how to relate to this and how to learn to let go of the situation

Lisa, good time. Probably, it is very difficult to be friends with a friend who is liked by all guys.) But it is a matter of great respect that you hold on with dignity, do not try to get angry, envy, avoid friendship with such a "in-demand" friend. And you are trying to learn to live with it. Indeed, it is not very pleasant to feel not so significant against the background of a friend. And this cannot but reflect on your attitude towards yourself. Surely, next to her, every time you feel the comparison is not in your favor, and you begin to behave accordingly, without even realizing it. And if you stop comparing yourself, and behave and feel beautiful, independent, free, attractive, confident, no matter who is next to you, you will gain the strength to which people, including guys, are so drawn. You can do it! So you already have the strength not to envy, but to be close to such a friend. I wish you good luck, patience and wisdom. Sincerely.

Silina Marina Valentinovna, psychologist of Ivanovo

Hello Elizabeth.

Of course, it is very offensive and unpleasant when you are together in a company with young people, your friend gets all the attention. This cannot but affect the mood. Because any girl would like to be singled out among others. And if it happens often, then it can affect your self-esteem too. There is probably something about your friend that makes others draw attention to herself. And it may not necessarily be her appearance. It can be a light temper, gaiety, the ability to flirt, flirt with young people. But what definitely attracts young people a little is a low mood. So to let go of this problem, you first need to believe in yourself that you, too, are capable of liking and being attractive to young people. But not in comparison with your friend, but in itself. Beauty is a relative phenomenon. Some people like blondes, others like brunettes. Everyone immediately likes impossible, and why? Love happens to someone in particular, not everyone. You can meet young people in order to please them, or you can meet with young people in order to have fun and amicable time. God forbid, your smile will be the beginning of love. Therefore, smile to yourself more often, and everything will definitely work out for you.

Sincerely

Paryugina Oksana Vladimirovna, psychologist of Ivanovo

You are a pretty pretty, fairly educated and modern girl, but all the guys that come your way, for some reason, always go to your girlfriends. Do not despair. This problem is easily fixable. You just need to take a closer look at yourself. What's wrong with that?

It is difficult to determine one reason why you are still lonely: in each case, the reasons can be completely different. But still, let's try to make a few assumptions. Perhaps your girlfriends are extremely good-looking - they are all of those from whom you simply cannot take your eyes off. Or, even if they don't shine with their beauty, they may be more flirty and sexually attractive compared to you (what can you do, men choose those ''). Or maybe, with all your beauty and education, with all your appearance (and behavior), you simply send the opposite sex the wrong signals and messages like: "Don't even dare approach me!" Let's look at each of these probable causes in order.

Reason 1: beautiful girlfriends

Each of us has one or two girlfriends who cause a storm of delight in men. If you are constantly in the company of such a girl, her outstanding beauty invariably overshadows your attractiveness. For men, you will always be just her background or contrast, because of which her beauty will look even more luxurious, and yours - even more imperceptible. For clarity, imagine it this way: any woman, even the most beautiful, will not look the best, put her next to the beautiful Julia Roberts. Who will men choose? The answer is clearer than clear. Alas, at the first meeting, men always evaluate a girl by her appearance. And if a dazzling friend is always by your side, she will be a star.

Solution: do not take her with you when you go to places where you can meet unfamiliar men. These friends can be wonderful, just wonderful people, but try to communicate with them ... in a female company or alone, that is, at a time when you are not looking for new acquaintances. Sounds cruel? But you want to find your love, don't you? Therefore, try to create the appropriate conditions for yourself.

Reason 2: flirtatious girlfriends.

It's very simple: men like those women who behave seductively, openly and with a hint of continuation of the relationship, showing the man that she is interested in him. Conversely, men do not like closed and self-admiring women who do not try to attract the attention of the opposite sex, but with their whole appearance show that they should not flirt with men: let them themselves try to gain their favor if they can. This does not mean at all that you should desperately try to attract the attention of men. It's just that those women who, by their behavior, can inspire a man that he is worthy of her attention, since she decided to spend her charms on him, receive more male attention.

Solution: Pay attention to your behavior, facial expressions and gestures when you interact with men. Are you being overly serious, shy, withdrawn, or unwelcoming? Take a closer look at how your girlfriends are behaving and try to adopt some of their effective techniques. Smile and act naturally. Men choose those women, next to whom it is easy and interesting for them. Show yourself what an interesting person you are, and they will immediately show interest in you.

Reason 3: Girlfriends who prefer sexy clothes.

If your girlfriends prefer tight-fitting clothes that accentuate their femininity, and you constantly wear baggy jeans and a stretched sweater, guess who will choose a man?

Solution: To look sexy, you don't have to wear a plunging neckline, super short skirt and black fishnet tights, or overly skinny jeans. The secret to the sexiest and most attractive clothes is simple: wear what makes you feel like a queen! If you are confident that you look amazing, those around you will be sure of it too. If you don't know what suits you best, go to a beauty salon and ask the professionals to choose the hairstyle for you that best emphasizes your individuality, and then ask your friends: let them honestly tell you what suits you best.

Reason 4: you are sending the wrong signals.

Although it is very difficult to look at yourself from the outside and determine how others perceive you, try to imagine how you behave in the company of friends. Maybe from the outside you seem bored or tired of life when, being with your friends in a cafe, you silently drink coffee? (A pose that just screams, "Don't talk to me! Don't touch me!") Or maybe you methodically track every guy who walks into the cafe, evaluating him as a potential partner (and thereby showing that you are just desperately trying to someone find something)?

Solution: ask your most faithful friend, whom you completely trust and whose opinion you value, to suggest what in your behavior can repel men. Tell her that you want to hear the truth from her and do not be offended, no matter what you hear now. Perhaps you will need to change some little things in your behavior, and this will change your life in the future.

May 22, 2010 1:52:10 PM

My problem is that my boyfriend likes my girlfriend, and I really think that she doesn't mind taking him away from me. What should I do? To nullify their relationship? But the forbidden, as you know, attracts ... Or let everything take its course? If he loves, it will still not go anywhere.

Girlfriends and beloved boyfriend are a perennial problem, and only a few are faced with the fact that there are no problems between them. If the main reason for conflicts is that your girlfriends and boyfriend begin to fight for your attention (go to the cinema with a boyfriend or arrange?), Then we can congratulate you - you are just very dear to them, so both sides want you to pay them as much as possible more attention. It's another matter if all this leads to quarrels and swearing between your Beloved and old friends. But even this can be tolerated and settled. But it's really bad if you understand that the guy likes his girlfriend, not you.

First of all, decide if the problem is as serious as you imagine it? After all, behind the words "My boyfriend likes my girlfriend" can hide a lot.

For example:

Your boyfriend is an ordinary womanizer who strives to drag as many girls as possible into bed. He absolutely does not care about your feelings and your friends, because this is the only way he can amuse his pride;

When I realized that my boyfriend liked my girlfriend, I remembered how someone called him an ordinary womanizer. Soon, a friend herself admitted that he glued to her at a disco, where I could not come, because I had a headache. It hurt me a lot, but I realized that if this happens already a month after the start of our relationship, it will only get worse, and I found the strength to part with him. Marina, 18 years old.

You are simply pathologically jealous and you see the problem where it does not exist. The guy barely noticed that your friend performed very well at the concert (plays basketball, sings beautifully, writes good poetry, successfully bought a jacket), and you already assume the worst and are ready to exclude your friend from the list of people with whom you want to once and for all communicate;

I was constantly jealous of my boyfriend to such an extent that I tried to make him know as little as possible about my girlfriends. As a result, quarrels began both with him and with the girlfriends whom I meant in some way. It seemed to me that my boyfriend liked my college friend, then my neighbor, with whom I communicate. The thoughts all the time got into my head that and that all women are rivals by definition, that my boyfriend is so good that everyone just wants to take him away from me. As a result, I cut off ties with all my friends, but my relationship with the guy did not work out - not because of mine, for other reasons. Ekaterina, 25 years old.

Your friend is a girl who wants to attract the attention of men by any means. She doesn't really need your boyfriend. It was always very interesting and fun for you to go to clubs and discos with her, as she always helped to attract many young people to your company. And now she habitually flirts with him, just as she would do when communicating with any other guy, not at all wanting to beat him off;

My friend loves to be in the spotlight, so my boyfriend could not help but notice how she flirts with him. But it didn't seem to me that my boyfriend liked my girlfriend, because when we were alone he suddenly began to laugh at her: “She would go to bed with me if I agreed?”. There was no quarrel between me and the guy because of this, but the sediment remained to this day. For some reason, I, imperceptibly for myself, gradually reduced communication with this girl to a minimum. And I still don’t regret it. Tatiana, 21 years old.

Something went wrong in your relationship. The guy no longer shares his problems and experiences with you. And romantic meetings in private hardly attract him. But he is happy to communicate with your girlfriend, even if he does not go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted. What will happen next? Much depends on you.

Gradually, I began to realize that my boyfriend was moving away from me. We rarely spent time together, as he preferred entertainment in noisy companies to this, where my friend also came. Soon I noticed that I became more and more the initiator of meetings, while the guy called me less and less. It upset me a lot. And then I found out that he had been in correspondence with my friend on ICQ for a month already. I tried to talk to him, but he was silent. In the end, it came to me SMS that it's all over between us. It took a little time, and he started dating my girlfriend. I don't know who was to blame for this, but I no longer trust my friends or men. Elena, 24 years old.

I quickly realized that my boyfriend liked my girlfriend, and decided to keep the relationship in any way. I tried to make each date so that it would be interesting for the two of us, and it would be as unforgettable as possible. We went to, wandered around interesting places in our city, even signed up for drawing courses. And gradually I realized that my girlfriend is just one of the girls for him, while he loves me sincerely and tenderly. And all my worries and jealousy disappeared like a light fog in the morning. Alexandra, 20 years old.

Have you encountered a similar problem?