Why is it important to be yourself? How to be yourself Why is it important to be yourself.

20.03.2022

Question. Sometimes people put on masks, hiding their true face behind them. It would seem that this is only a screen behind which a person is hiding for a number of reasons. But no, everything is much more serious. After all, he pretends to be a stranger.

Leading a double life, left alone, a person can undress and expose his soul. But, being in society, he again reincarnates into a familiar hero and continues to exist in a fictional world, in a new role, getting used to the role. At the same time, he tries to seem correct and positive, does not notice the mistakes made.

Is it good? Or is it still worth removing the makeup, showing the true face? We will talk about this topic in our article, consider practical recommendations.

How to be yourself

The first question we will try to cover. But first, let's talk about what it means to be yourself.

This is extremely difficult. After all, a person who is in this state:

is in harmony with itself;
calm and balanced;
feels inner comfort.

But a person can still be different. That is, relaxed in a friendly circle and serious, collected and organized in a working environment. Let's say the fact that you receive customers with a smile does not at all indicate your hypocrisy. These are the rules of etiquette. People who do not want to fulfill certain requirements are justified by the phrase "you must remain yourself." These are often stubborn and inadequate citizens.

This example suggests that a particular situation generates different behavior. And this is the norm. The main thing is not to play. At the moment of excessive, ostentatious, unnatural modesty or impudent swagger, a person causes a feeling of discomfort in those around him. They have a desire to leave his company or minimize dialogue.

Now it becomes a little clear how to be yourself. You just need to share real emotions and show the feelings that really guide you. Others will appreciate your sincerity.

Now let's talk about how to become yourself

The answer to this question is to be found within yourself. This may take a very long time. Therefore, first of all, you need to ask yourself why you need this, for the sake of which it is worth remaining yourself.

You need an end goal that will act as your motivator. It will help you get closer to your dream. But first, let's decide what he is, the lucky one who managed to achieve this.

Characteristics of a person who has become himself

It has the following features:

Conscious behavior. Acts wisely, knows what he is doing and why.
Harmony with yourself and the world around you. A person is always calm and balanced.
Smile and sparkling eyes.

Such people do what they like, and this is where awareness of actions is manifested. They are happy, literally glow from the inside.

A living example of this is children. They rejoice at any moment, sincere laughter, tears too.

Therefore, it is worth feeling like a child and plunge into pleasant memories, taste the charm of life again. Start to explore yourself, get to the bottom of your "I", discarding everything unnecessary.

It is necessary to act. Find yourself through your favorite thing, occupation. If it captures you, completely immersing you in the work process, and at the same time brings moral satisfaction and happiness, you are on the right track.

Wishes are as follows:

You should not show simulated impeccability and demand it from others, be afraid of making mistakes and displaying negative feelings. This leads to internal confinement.
You need to understand that freedom is a responsibility. Finding a way to yourself, you need to be responsible for every action you take, listen to your inner convictions.
Dream. Change your life, turning desires into reality, achieve your goals.
Destroy psychological barriers, remove everything from the path that hinders you.
Working on yourself is another piece of good advice. Only reading articles and books on this issue is not enough, you need to work tirelessly on your own emotional and internal state.

How to be yourself? Effective Methods

They will help you quickly overcome the path of knowing yourself. It needs to be done once a week.

First exercise: "Your bag"

You will need a sheet of paper and a pencil, as well as any hand luggage. It will take about fifteen minutes.

It is necessary to lay out the contents on the table, after which:

Of all the things, select three that can most clearly reveal your personality, character, preferences, qualities. If one is missing, you can visualize the one that most people carry in their bag.
Now write, without being distracted by literacy, about each thing, how it reveals you.
Then read the text and try to understand what you have learned about yourself. To what extent did this activity change your worldview? Don't jump to conclusions, give yourself time to think.
The exercise can also be done with things that are contained in the drawer of your desk, the glove compartment of the car, on the cabinet shelf, and so on.

This exercise teaches you to focus your thoughts on yourself in order to understand yourself better.

Second technique: "Fictional character"

It will take the same amount of time. You need to come up with a movie character, a character from a book or a cartoon, only he should remind you of the present at the moment.

For execution, we take the same attributes. So let's start:

We write what you have in common with You need to pay attention to external similarities, the same character traits, any life situations, be it work, family, personal life, or everything that you think about that can be compared.
Then state the differences found, based on the above material.
Then, in the same written form, tell us if you would like to get to know this person in reality, yes or no, why. After re-reading, think about what you learned about yourself.
Now you need to imagine a character you would like to be like. And do the same. After running through the text, think: are you more like him than before? And to what extent can you use this list of suggestions to change your personality in the future tense to be the way you want?

The purpose of this exercise is the same - to better understand yourself.

Third exercise: "Your feelings"

It will take twelve minutes. You need to be alone in silence. Try to objectively describe your feelings.

Let's get started:

In just three sentences, describe your emotional state, mood.
Now illuminate the physical sensations, muscle tension, pain, fatigue. And how does this relate to your emotions and feelings?
Then we move on to the psychological state, how is it related to the above aspects?
Then describe what you are doing. Do you have a desire to act in a certain way? Maybe there was an opportunity to avoid something, to break loose on someone, to hug and so on.
The purpose of this training is to learn how to describe in detail your condition on three levels: emotional, psychological and physical. After that, you need to read everything again and compare what is written with reality. That is, with the feelings that you experience in reality.

This exercise will help you learn to understand your own feelings, be able to describe them, and also contribute to the development of self-expression skills and creative thinking.

Sometimes a difficult life forces you to put on masks again, and then the question arises of how to become yourself again.

Everything is very simple. You need to do these techniques regularly, constantly improve. How about always being yourself?

Let's give some good advice:

Don't be afraid to look real.
Don't be ashamed of your flaws, everyone has them.
Do not despair, bad weather is replaced by luck.
Turn difficult situations into simple ones. Do not be nervous, keep calm, imagining that you had to decide this.
A simple, understandable speech will help to be yourself.
Get to know the world around you by asking yourself and answering difficult life questions.
Remember one truth that it is impossible to please everyone.
In the dialogue, keep your visual distance and do not leave it.
Look for friends who share your interests.

You need to know your inner world and accept yourself as you are. Confidence, freedom and a positive mood will tear off all existing masks and allow you not to play, but to live for real.

Psychologists all over the world say the same thing - be yourself. Those who underestimate this advice remain unhappy throughout their lives. You need to listen to your heart and live the way it tells you.

It is clear that the heart does not speak to you. From a scientific point of view, your own consciousness is talking to you. Very often, we ourselves try to hide our own goals from ourselves in order not to leave our comfort zone. So you only delay your triumph, your success and pure, true happiness.

Why are we changing

With friends, we behave relaxed and bold, but we come to work with a sour face and turn into the complete opposite. This suggests that we are controlled by the environment. It is normal that, for example, the judge does not laugh or joke in the courtroom, that the funeral director does not tell jokes.

We must learn to be ourselves when nothing holds us back. Here's what you need to understand first. No need to quit your job, sing loudly on the bus, break the rules of normal behavior. Look for people and places where you can open up completely.

We pretend because we don't love ourselves. We don't like our voice, our insecurities, but there can be beautiful notes in everything. Many singers and singers Who hated their voice became famous personalities. Consider your shortcomings as originality, then everything will go uphill.

Cons of pretending

We often act modestly where we shouldn't. This is how you push people away from you. When you come to the wedding of your best friend, you are modest and deliberately try to distance yourself from everyone, although you want to have fun and have fun. This is fundamentally wrong.

There should NOT be any deterrents in the form of a wife, husband, parents. YOU are an adult, so you should understand that only you control your life. They may try to "repay" you, but you need to fight the routine by any means.

Normal people will see your insincerity, so they will avoid you. Lies, hypocrisy, following stupid rules - all this kills people's interest in communicating with you. Don't put on masks and stop trying to be someone you're not. This is the only way communication problems will go away. You will find your soul mate, you will find friends. People may fall in love with your mask, but when you take it off for some reason, you will be turned away.

How to get rid of the craving for pretense is up to you. The best way is to love your flaws. If you do not have money, then you do not need to pretend to be rich, throwing dust in the eyes of other people, showing off purchases and victories. People will be drawn to you if you say: “YES, I can’t do anything in this life. I don't care about anything." So thinks most of those who achieve nothing, but not everyone can admit their weakness. If you do this, you will be respected. Someone will continue to judge you, saying that you should strive for more, but be ready for criticism in any situation. There will always be someone who will find a flaw in you, who wants to teach you about life.

WE are desperately trying to please our parents, our bosses, our significant other's parents, random people on the street. We are constantly looking for ways to be told: "Well done!". WE forget in this string of days about the most important thing - about ourselves. Devote more time to yourself. If someone condemns you for not working enough or not working where you need to, then after you do everything according to the rules of another person, you may not receive true approval, because the manipulator knows that you are weak-willed and don't have your own opinion. Remember that even if you are opposed to the absolute majority, you may be right. One against all is not an indicator of an erroneous opinion.

The worst thing is when a person is self-sufficient, but he is convinced that he must change. In this case, there is a chance to catch the strongest depression. You lose yourself, and you can lose the meaning of life forever. If you have doubts about something, you will have to refuse to make a decision. Always remember that a self-sufficient person suffers for a short period of time, but then finds peace, and the one who pretends is unhappy permanently.

Love yourself so that others can love you. There is much more sense in this phrase than narrow-minded people think. They think it's okay to become narcissistic and selfish, but that's not the case. You need to learn to respect your interests and aspirations. Other people, looking at you, will reach out to you in search of their happiness. You will tell them that you just need to be yourself, get rid of stereotypes and prejudices. They will believe you, and without any arguments. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

My beloved, I am Archeia Faith, I am mercy and compassion, I am the Light and Love of God.

My dear ones, today let's talk with you about how important it is to be yourself and go your own personal, individual and priceless way of life.

Being yourself is the most important thing in your life, it is the true experience and path of the soul.

To be oneself is a real inner freedom, it is the boundlessness of spiritual manifestation and creativity, a unique "inspirational flight" in the expanses of life.

To be oneself is the true value, integrity and Unity of matter and Spirit.

There is not a single identical person on earth, not a single identical soul, but there are unique and priceless creations of God. Each of you has your own important and necessary place in the vast plan of the Creator, your own individual role and purpose.

You are all very necessary and important to this world, my beloved, and among you there is neither the first nor the last. Each of you has a huge creative potential, unique abilities, amazing qualities, and by believing in yourself, in your strengths and capabilities, you can reveal them in yourself.

Everything is inside you, my dears, believe in this... Do not look at the path of other people, at their lives, but pay attention to yourself, how many priceless gifts are hidden in you.

By setting yourself the goal of being like others and living like everyone else, you block the opportunity to fully reveal yourself in all your beauty, in all your splendor.

You don’t know how beautiful and unique you are, how priceless and capable you are… You see the great abilities of others, the great path of others, the great life of others… but you often forget to see your uniqueness…

And today, my beloved, I ask you to pay attention to yourself, to see your spiritual qualities, your abilities, your gifts ... in order to help yourself open up and one day bloom like a magical Divine Flower - to reach the true purpose of your life, to bring the great help and support, your true Divine Light and Love…

Take a piece of paper now, my dears, and write on it all the spiritual qualities that you have. Write on a piece of paper all your inner riches of the soul that you have already seen and revealed in yourself.

And now write on a piece of paper all your creativity, everything that you know how to do best and from what really .

Then write on a piece of paper all your subtle feelings that you have revealed in yourself(premonition, intuition, subtle vision, ethereal hearing ... subtle feelings and sensations).

Everything that you wrote down is your today's gifts that you could see in yourself, discern, but measure, my dears, there are many more, much more ...

And every day, when you look into yourself, into your true essence, improve and open up to meet your soul more and more, showing your true bright qualities, creative and subtle abilities, your list of gifts will increase without limit.

These new spiritual gifts, like new petals, will transform your Divine Soul every day, and, one day, it will bloom and illuminate everyone around with its unique, boundless and unconditional Light.

With love for you

your Archeia Vera.

Accepted by Magda, 04/13/2017

My beloved, I am Archeia Faith, I am mercy and compassion, I am the Light and Love of God. My dear ones, today let's talk with you about how important it is to be yourself and go your own personal, individual and priceless way of life. Being yourself is the most important thing in your life, it is a true experience and a path...

It just so happens that we live in an era of authenticity, where the blurring of the boundaries between deep inner feelings and what should be shown to the world is extolled. The idea of "being yourself" in this case determines everything in our life: how we love, how we live, how we build a career.

We strive to communicate with the same authentic people: we are looking for an authentic boss, an authentic partner, authentic friends. What can we talk about when the speeches of the rectors of institutes, as a rule, begin with the idea of "remaining true to yourself."

But for most people, being yourself is terrible advice.

In fact, your real "I" is not interesting to anyone. We all have thoughts and feelings that we should keep to ourselves.

If you set up an experiment and live in the mode of utmost honesty for two weeks, all your relationships with friends and colleagues, and maybe with a love partner, will simply suffer an utter collapse. Saying whatever you think is a bad way. For several years, the writer A.J. Jacobs behaved in a completely authentic way for two weeks. He told his publisher that he would sleep with her if he weren't married, and told his wife's parents that he was bored talking to them. Without hesitation, he admitted to his little daughter that the beetle had died, and was not just dozing on her palm. He told the nanny that if his wife left him, he would invite her on a date.

Deception is what keeps this world going. Without deceit, all employees would be kicked out, marriages would fall apart, and people's self-esteem would simply be trampled on.

How much we strive for authenticity depends on such a trait of the psyche as social self-control. It presupposes the ability to analyze the environment in terms of how to act in a given situation, to adjust one's behavior to the circumstances. We hate social awkwardness and do our best not to offend or offend anyone. If our social control is poorly developed, then we are guided only by our own urges and desires.

Instead of trying your best to let the world know who we are, first try to understand how it sees you, and only then become who you want to be. Be sincere, not authentic. If your behavior doesn't match who you want to be, take the time to develop what's called uncharacteristic behavior. For example, if you are an introvert, but dream of being the center of attention, be! Practice public speaking, learn to deal with your fears, be the best version of yourself.

It will definitely work. So the next time your friends are vying with each other to advise you to be yourself, stop them. In fact, the world is not interested in what is in your head. For him, you are of value only when your actions do not diverge from words.

Mentally healthy people are not concerned with the topic of "being yourself", this topic is more typical for those who are not confident in themselves, have problems with others, feel internal tension and discomfort.

"Be yourself, just let yourself be who you are!" - the traditional recommendation of psychotherapists. As a rule, this means: do not strain, behave in the usual way, do what you want here and now!

We are not obliged to meet anyone's expectations, we have the right to be in the mood that has come to us, to say and do what comes from our hearts.

Usually, such recommendations bring a person closer to his comfort zone, improve his condition, give him ease and his behavior. This is a useful exercise as a way to increase confidence and relieve tension, but you don’t need to make it the norm of life and, in fact, abuse it just like young girls should not get carried away with cosmetics, and men should be careful with alcohol. What is good little by little and sometimes becomes a problem in constant use. Such advice is often given to constrained or insecure people, but for people who are strong and focused on development, this recommendation is inappropriate.

One and the same person can be different, it is natural and necessary. When it says "A woman should be a mistress in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a whore in bed", this is not about pretense, but about the breadth of the role range. It is normal to be relaxed among friends and collected at work, and if customers need to be met with a sincere smile, then for adults this is not a pretense, but part of the work functionality. "You need to be yourself" is often said by stubborn or narrow-minded people who simply do not like the requirements that are placed on them.

If you plan to develop, then the slogan "Be yourself" must be put aside: for a while, namely, for the time of development. Development is a way out of a comfortable state, at this time many become "not themselves", and calm relaxation in such a situation is not available to everyone. This is how any development happens: a shake-up stage, when each change / movement makes us not ourselves, then a period of embedding something into our life or consciousness, and only after that I become myself again - only a little different ...

For example, I lie with a beer on the couch, and I feel good. But going to the gym is "fighting with yourself", and not being one. Or, I'm used to riding the tram, and I feel good. But to buy a car and get to work much faster - no, "this is not for me." Or, let's say I have a quiet voice. Then - by myself - I speak softly. And if I v-k-l-a-d-s-v-a-u-s-s in every word to get my point across, I stop being myself!

"Being yourself" means using only well-learned patterns of behavior, using only familiar ways in communication, not trying new things and not taking risks.

For example, I want to meet a girl, for which I sincerely and sincerely ask "girl, can I meet you?" and habitually receive a thrashing. To learn effective tricks, how to become interesting in communication - no, these are all manipulations and violate my inner world. Or, it is natural for an impulsive girl to call for no reason ten times a day to a young man with whom she is in love. A beautiful romance is possible here, but you can’t get married here.

If you have serious tasks, you need something more than just being yourself. In addition, for a person living in the future, “to be yourself” is to be the one who responds to the challenge of the future, who goes towards the realization of the plan about himself, who is ready to strain, who is ready to be different and anyone.

For "being yourself" is to respond to your needs and satisfy them in the most convenient way. For "be yourself" - go energetically towards your goals, realizing your values.

Note for experts: the wording "Be yourself" tacitly implies that a person has only one Self, his true essence. Is this true? It is not always so. If we accept that several personalities can coexist in a person (inner voices, behavior in various conditions, consciousness / subconscious, ... it doesn’t matter, divide it as you like) - then all these parts of a person can either be coordinated with each other, or not. If the parts are coordinated, then the person (as a set of parts) is harmonious and is himself. But if one part breaks out, then another, then they take turns assessing each other's actions, then the person is no longer himself, not his own. There are two independent subjects in a person who pull his poor little body for nothing - such a person has an internal conflict. For example, in a fight - you got scared, and then you reproach yourself for cowardice. But in the first case, there was one who was afraid (a person in stress), and in the second, there was one who likes to reproach himself about this ...

Curiously, when experiments were carried out on the separation of the hemispheres of the brain (dissection of the corpus callosum and all sorts of commissures in epilepsy), two personalities began to develop in a person and it could come to a ridiculous level - one hand tried to hit, and the second grabbed it and stopped it!

To summarize briefly, for a developed person, for a person-personality, "to be oneself" is a natural and correct state. And for other people who live like, like, accustomed to being guided only by feelings and not responsible for themselves, the principle of "being yourself" as the norm of life is rather a problematic and unsuccessful choice. What is shown for psychotherapeutic sessions is not quite suitable for everyday life. It is clear at the same time that sometime it is normal for any person to allow himself to "be himself", namely: in a situation of relaxation, surrounded by close and dear people, where you are understood and accepted as you (what you) are. If you are faced with tasks when you need to strive for something (at least cope with a work task, at least get married), stay in the “But I am like that!” no longer appropriate. We know how to be different, and this is normal and right: for different tasks, to discover different sides of ourselves, rely on our different strengths and be what is needed here and now.