Hilarious descriptions by zodiac sign. Comic horoscope by zodiac signs

Humor and positivity. Three topics in one:
1. Evaluation of the signs of the zodiac from the position of Thinks-Speaks-Does.
2. Behavior of signs after sex.
3. Life principles of the signs of the zodiac.

Aries: Thinks - a lot. Says - not enough. He does it right.
Taurus: Thinks about a lot. Says - convincingly. Does - as it turns out.
Twins: He thinks about himself. He says what he thinks. Does - thinks very well.
Cancer: Thinks - constantly. He says it's tempting. Does what they indicate.
A lion: He thinks - for sure. Says - superfluous. He does something that he could not get rid of.
Virgo: Thinks - one thing. Says - another. Does - the third, but good.
Scales: Thinks - superfluous. Speaks - honestly. He does it responsibly.
Scorpion: Thinks - with concentration. Says - exactly. He does what he likes.
Sagittarius: Thinks - that only he ... Says - that everyone except him .. Does - by someone else's hands.
Capricorn: Thinks - what comes to mind. Says - what he thought of. He does what he can.
Aquarius: Thinks - "what do you need?" Says - "well, if necessary" Does - the best.
Fishes: Thinks - that no one knows. He speaks - he is clever. Does - depending on whether the work will be checked.

After sex. Zodiac Signs

Aries: Okay, it started off again!
Taurus: I want to eat! Pass me the pizza!
Gemini: Where's the TV remote?
Cancer: When are we getting married?
Leo: Wasn't I gorgeous (gorgeous)?
Virgo: Let me see the sheets
Libra: If you liked it, I liked it too
Scorpio: Perhaps now we can untie you
Sagittarius: Don't call me, I'll call myself
Capricorn: Do you have a business card?
Aquarius: Now let's try WITHOUT clothes!
Pisces: So what do you say is your name?

Life principles of the zodiac signs.
In every joke, they say, there is some humor)))

Aries:
1. Better not to argue with me.
2. First I'll do it, then I'll think about it.
3. Where others slow down, I step on the gas.
4. I will be forever young.
5. Do as I do, because you can't do better anyway.
6. The most difficult thing is to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
7. Stubbornness is not a vice.
8. It is easy to control the situation, it is more difficult to control your emotions.
9. One ram is good, two rams are many.
10. I don't attack first. But God forbid to hurt me.

Taurus:
1. Do not feel sorry for money to buy, sorry for a party.
2. I don’t need someone else’s, don’t touch mine.
3. A thin world is better than a good quarrel.
4. Do not bother the one who is well seated.
5. Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
6. Food is serious.
7. An affectionate calf sucks two queens.
8. When you go second, you save energy.
9. I hate disposable lighters!
10. Taster is my true calling.

Twins:
1. Today I am not the same as yesterday.
2. Who owns the situation, he owns the information.
3. One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person.
4. Figaro is here, Figaro is there.
5. The idea, like other products, should not stale.
6. One TV, telephone in the house is good, but three is better.
7. Whoever did not have time, he was late.
8. I move through life like a scooter on water - I don't go deep, but fast.
9. At the bazaar I am not responsible for the bazaar.
10. I love quantity, because there is not enough time for quality.

Cancer:
1. My home is my fortress.
2. Nursing others is my true calling.
3. It would be nice to stock up on everything in the world, and patience and jam.
4. Everything comes to the one who knows how to wait.
5. Meet your friends at home, not in a cafe.
6. Nothing warms the soul like the sight of a full refrigerator.
7. Better to dig, but buy a worthy thing.
8. It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide.
9. I carry my past with me like a backpack.
10. Is it possible to wear out a coat in twenty years?

A lion:
1. I will lead you into a bright distance.
2. It is better to provide support than to receive it.
3. Pleasant manners are half the battle.
4. The sun shines for Leo.
5. A beautiful plaque on the office door is more important than a high salary.
6. I like to make good money, and even more - to spend.
7. A grand piano in a house is better than a piano, even if there is no one to play it.
8. Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart.
9. If you do - so in a big way.
10. Why do you need the sun if I'm with you ????

Virgo:
1. Patience and work will grind everything.
2. Modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a virgin.
3. Everyone lives for himself, but serves others.
4. Order is needed everywhere: in thoughts and in the kitchen.
5. Prove to me strictly logically that we are made for each other.
6. A crookedly hanging shelf drives me crazy.
7. On a large scale, I get lost.
8. I have a hard time getting the seeds out of a whole bucket of cherries.
9. Every Virgo has a cool lady.
10. Amanita must certainly be conspicuous, and a porcini mushroom - and so good.

Scales:
1. Without a partner - as without hands.
2. The most disgusting thing is to argue.
3. Win by agreeing.
4. Only fools are principled.
5. I will involve anyone in anything.
6. Beauty will save the world.
7. Everything should be done according to the mood.
8. The most difficult thing is to make a choice.
9. Not all “ands” need to be dotted.
10. I myself do not know as a couple whether I am for white or for red.

Scorpion:
1. It's a pity, there is no one to bite.
2. Every event is like a sofa: there must be hidden springs in it.
3. There must be a good reason for smiling.
4. You can free yourself from everything, but not from your own passions.
5. I sing a song of love on the battlefield. 6. Not everyone can stand my gaze.
7. My passions rarely come out, like a shark that rarely comes to the surface.
8. The world disappears without knights.
9. Not yet extinct on the land of Othella!
10. I am like a cactus - my fabulous flower opens up for the elite.

Sagittarius
1. There should be a lot of good people.
2. To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.
3. The best vacation is a trip around the world.
4. The main thing in the problem is its scale.
5. My ideal is Ivan Tsareevich.
6. It is impossible to be angry with me.
7. Remorse - what is it?
8. Obligation adorns only mediocre people.
9. Worrying in advance is stupid, let's figure out the situation.
10. Not an obligatory person, it just has to be obligatory.

Capricorn:
1. I am not a springer or even a stayer. I'm a marathon runner.
2. And one soldier in the field.
3. Do not break the laws - it will do to another, and you will be caught.
4. For myself, I need very little. My property is just a mirror of my success.
5. Life is like a train that arrives at every station exactly on schedule.
6. It is pleasant to talk about distant countries while sitting at home.
7. Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by endurance.
8. It is worth climbing to the top all your life in order to spit down from there once.
9. Only I get younger over the years.
10. I'm going - I'm going, I don't fistula, but when I hit it, I won't let it go.

Aquarius:
1. How boring it is to be like others!
2. If I invented you, become what I want.
3. Prejudice is the lot of fools.
4. The future simply has to be great.
5. It is difficult to be an angel, but it is necessary.
6. Good intention is more important than good deeds.
7. To become an innovator, you must first forget about tradition.
8. Sex? There are more important things to do in life.
9. First friends, and then family ... if of course there is time.
10. There is no kinder me, no more cheerful me.

Fishes:
1. Empathy is more important than helping.
2. I can not give up alcohol, like a fish from water.
3. The order was invented by boring people.
4. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
5. You never know what I can promise ...
6. Working in a hurry is like swallowing without chewing.
7. I am ready to understand everyone, but not myself.
8. The willow bends in a storm, and the oak falls.
9. Everyone knows that I am always busy, but few know what exactly.
10. Do not press on me, otherwise I will slip away like a fish from my hands!
Source /www.liveinternet.ru/users/in-light/post209299345/>
WE STEP ON RAKE:
Aries: stepping on a rake, he will become so furious that he will break them, but in the process he will get five more times on the head with them.
Taurus: Will step on rakes over and over until they break.
Gemini: They will be able to decide where to go only after they have gone to great lengths.
Cancer: only this will make him take a step forward.
Leo: Will tell everyone how cool it is, and advise everyone to do the same.
Virgo: Will advance slowly and methodically. I'm sure that if you step right, everything will work out.
Libra: they will doubt for a very long time, and, having made the only correct decision, they will step on the biggest ones.
Scorpio: if he notices that it was, he is unlikely to think about it.
Sagittarius: he will definitely try to take revenge and will come again.
Capricorn: stepping on a rake, he will understand that he stepped on them, but this hardly means anything.
Aquarius: will only step on the rake he likes.
Pisces: will blame themselves for this all their lives. The only consolation is that thanks to them, someone else did not step on the rake.

Very short but funny and true comic horoscope- 10 principles of each Zodiac Sign!

And really why are there a lot of words, if everything can be said about everyone, in just a few short sentences. So we bring to your attention another comic horoscope- 10 principles of each Zodiac Sign. And although this comic horoscope the site was not compiled by the astrologer of the site, nevertheless, we hope that it will bring you no less pleasure than others funny horoscopes from our site. Read,

And although this time we did not find the authors of this horoscope, and our astrologer does not completely agree with some even comic conclusions, let's hope that this funny horoscope about 10 principles of each Zodiac Sign, will make you smile and get another charge of positive energy site!

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of each zodiac sign:

Aries - One Aries is good, two Aries is a lot!

1. Better not to argue with me.
2. First I'll do it, then I'll think about it.
3. Where others slow down, I step on the gas.
4. I will be forever young.
5. Do as I do, because you can't do better anyway.
6. The most difficult thing is to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
7. Stubbornness is not a vice.
8. It is easy to control the situation, it is more difficult to control your emotions.
9. One ram is good, two rams are many.
10. I don't attack first. But God forbid to hurt me.

Taurus - Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset!

1. Do not feel sorry for money to buy, sorry for a party.
2. I don’t need someone else’s, don’t touch mine.
3. A thin world is better than a good quarrel.
4. Do not bother the one who is well seated.
5. Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
6. Food is serious.
7. Affectionate calf - sucks two queens.
8. When you go second, you save energy.
9. I hate disposable lighters.
10. Taster is my true calling.

Gemini - One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person!

1. Today I am not the same as yesterday.
2. Who owns the situation, he owns the information.
3. One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person.
4. Figaro is here, Figaro is there.
5. Ideas, like products, should not be stale.
6. One TV, telephone in the house is good, but three is better.
7. Whoever did not have time, he was late.
8. I move through life like a scooter on water, I don't go deep, but fast.
9. At the bazaar I am not responsible for the bazaar.
10. I love quantity, because there is not enough time for quality.

Cancer - It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide!

1. My home, my fortress.
2. Nursing others is my true calling.
3. It would be nice to stock up on everything in the world, and patience and jam.
4. Everything comes to the one who knows how to wait.
5. Meet your friends at home, not in a cafe.
6. Nothing warms the soul like the sight of a full refrigerator.
7. Better to dig, but buy a worthy thing.
8. It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide.
9. I carry my past with me like a backpack
10. Is it possible to wear out a coat in twenty years?

Leo - Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart!

1. I will lead you into the bright distance.
2. It is better to provide support than to receive it.
3. Pleasant manners are half the battle.
4. The sun shines for Leo.
5. A beautiful plaque on the office door is more important than a high salary.
6. I like to make good money and spend even more.
7. A grand piano in a house is better than a piano, even if there is no one to play it.
8. Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart.
9. If you do, so for the most part.
10. Why do you need the sun, if I am with you ???

Virgo - Modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a Virgo!

1. Patience and work will grind everything.
2. Modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a Virgo.
3. Everyone lives for himself, but serves others.
4. Order is needed everywhere: in thoughts and in the kitchen.
5. Prove to me strictly logically that we are made for each other.
6. A crooked shelf that drives me crazy.
7. On a large scale, I get lost.
8. I have a hard time getting the seeds out of a whole bucket of cherries.
9. Every Virgo has a cool lady.
10. Amanita must certainly be conspicuous, and a porcini mushroom - and so good.

Libra - The most disgusting thing is to argue!

1. Without a partner, as without hands.
2. The most opposite is to argue.
3. Win by agreeing.
4. Only fools are principled.
5. I am attracted to anyone, to anything.
6. Beauty will save the world.
7. Everything should be done according to the mood.
8. The most difficult choice is to make.
9. Not all “ands” need to be dotted.
10. I don't even know as a couple whether I am for white or for red.

Scorpio - My passions rarely come out like a shark that rarely comes to the surface!

1. It's a pity, there is no one to bite.
2. Every event is like a sofa: there must be hidden springs in it.
3. There must be a good reason for smiling.
4. You can free yourself from everything, but not from your own passions.
5. I sing a song of love on the battlefield.
6. Not everyone can stand my gaze.
7. My passions rarely come out, like a shark that rarely comes to the surface.
8. The world disappears without knights.
9. Not yet extinct on the land of Othella!
10. I am like a cactus, my fabulous flower opens up for the elite.

Sagittarius - Impossible to be angry with me!

1. There should be a lot of good people.
2. To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.
3. The best vacation - travel around the world.
4. The main thing in the problem is its scale.
5. My ideal is Ivan Tsareevia.
6. It is impossible to be angry with me.
7. Remorse - what is it ???
8. Obligation adorns only mediocre people.
9. Worries in advance is stupid, let's figure out the situation.
10. Not an obligatory person, it just has to be obligatory.

Capricorn- Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by endurance!

1. I am not a sprinter, and not even a stayer. I'm a marathon runner.
2. And one soldier in the field.
3. Do not break the laws, another will get away, and you will be caught.
4. For myself, I need very little. My property is just a mirror of my success.
5. Life is like a train that arrives at every station exactly on schedule.
6. It is pleasant to talk about distant countries while sitting at home.
7. Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by endurance.
8. It is worth climbing to the top all your life in order to spit down from there once.
9. Only I get younger over the years.
10. I am driving and eating, I don’t fist, but when I hit it, I won’t let it go.

Aquarius - How boring it is to be like others!

1. How boring it is to be like others.
2. If I invented you, become what I want.
3. Prejudice is the lot of fools.
4. The future simply has to be great.
5. It is difficult to be an angel, but it is necessary.
6. Good intention is more important than good deeds.
7. To become an innovator, you must first forget about traditions.
8. Sex? There are more important things to do in life.
9. First friends, and then family, if of course there is time.
10. There is no kinder me, no more cheerful me

Pisces - Empathy is more important than helping!

1. Empathy is more important than helping.
2. I can not give up alcohol, like a fish from water.
3. The order was invented by boring people.
4. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
5. You never know what I can promise.
6. Working in a hurry is like swallowing without chewing.
7. I am ready to understand everyone, but not myself.
8. The willow bends in a storm, and the oak falls.
9. Everyone knows that I am always busy, but few know what exactly.
10. Do not press on me, otherwise I will slip away like a fish from the hands.

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of every zodiac sign!

The instigator was also a provocateur. This is exactly the scary person who takes half the office on Fridays to the bar, and then the frightened wives and husbands of his colleagues catch the latter in parks, other people's apartments or the next bars. What about Aries? But nothing - it was his business to start and quit, and if they were so turned on, these are their problems)

“Where did you take us, Hero Susanin? - Leave me alone guys, I myself am here for the first time .... " - A typical Aries situation, especially when traveling, on vacation and on vacation. Moreover, Aries often allows others to get out of the situation, saying that they are sick / tired / suddenly dull, etc.

Aries, by the way, is one of those who consider the argument “I was drunk” to be quite weighty and understandable for most “normal people”, and interestingly, he is often excused for this, although then they think for a long time - what prompted?

It's simple - childlike spontaneity. For this, you will forgive Aries everything - and the fact that he brought you to the wrong place or at the wrong time, disappeared, got drunk, brought strangers, or even forgot you at the station at the beginning of the journey)

But then, having disentangled yourself from all these stories, you will remember Aries' antics with pleasure, especially when twenty years have passed and you will be sitting by a warm stove in complete safety. After all, you will always have something to remember if you have ever rested in the company of Aries. It doesn't matter if he was there or not)

Taurus

Well, for starters, you just can't rest. Before that, it is imperative to work hard to sweat, present labor achievements in expanded form to yourself, colleagues, relatives, God and in general to everyone who gets caught), so that the whole world knows that Taurus deserves his rest and has the right to it!

But then the question arises of preparing for the rest. And even if it's just a day off - you need to think over the menu, choose the appropriate music / movie / book, finally change the curtains (and at the same time wash the windows, change the linen, wash everything), cheer everyone up (yourself too), then ahh .... If you have time and strength)

With its ceremonialness, Taurus can bring to white heat all those who, together with him, are tuned in to rest. “It’s better not to put shoes there, there is a special spoon for this dish, be sure to pass the dish with fruit to your neighbor, oh, you crumpled the tablecloth, I’ll fix it now,” etc. In general, if you live with a Taurus, it is sometimes easier to close in the bathroom for relaxation. Then you can already behave indecently for your pleasure)

Holidays and celebrations Taurus begin to plan ahead of time. After all, we must take everything into account: think over the menu…. (in general, you already get the idea, I think). But if it comes to vacation at all - then I assure you, it will be the best and highest quality vacation in the entire Zodiac! But sometimes it happens like in that anecdote about two Estonians: "- Good New Year holiday, huh?" - "Yes, but sexual intercourse is better" - "Yes, but New Year is more often")

Twins

In general, if you want to go somewhere or go somewhere, then it is better not to enter into an argument with them, but delicately drag the hand in the direction you need. All the same, there will be no ideal, but to admit that their life is not ideal - Libra will not want to, and therefore they will try to pass off the real as ideal and honestly rejoice at it)

Funny horoscope 3.40 / 5 (5 votes)

Aries is an emotional bastard.

If he is passionate about something, does not bother to explain his actions to others, he simply acts as he sees fit. Asking for forgiveness - pride does not allow. I am convinced that the truth is in him.
Excuses: "Something rolled over", "The devil got it wrong" etc.

Taurus is a greedy bastard.

We are obsessed with the idea of ​​acquiring. Purposeful avenger, always calculates the trajectory of the blow, to be sure.
Excuses: "You deserve such a fate".

Gemini is a careless bastard.

Loves games, jokes, funny companies. The eternal dichotomy of good and evil. For the sake of a joke, he devalues ​​the rules and traditions, depriving them of drama, sincerely not understanding what he is doing and quickly forgets about it.
Excuses: “Are you offended? WHY?"

Cancer is a miserable bastard.

Because of his vulnerability, vulnerability, susceptibility, he is always an "angel-like creature" innocently injured, while the opponent is a monster in "devilish guise", even if Cancer himself is a champion in filth and filth. He will also make sure that the whole world knows how you have done wrong with him.
Excuses: "It's your fault that I am!"

Leo is a pompous bastard.

Well, everything is clear here, the crown crushes, the greatness of the world distorts. Everything is divided into "He" and "the rest." He is great, others are dust underfoot.
Excuses: "I wanted it that way."

Virgo is a vengeful bastard.

In the eternal pursuit of perfection, impeccability and correctness, he paints his portrait of "God in flesh on earth", such a walking messiah and do not let you carelessly speak on her account unsatisfactory, unprofitable. Can wait long and hard for a suitable chance to remember.
Excuse: Triumphant "Do you remember …"

Libra is a mercantile bastard.

Windy and changeable. Great virtuosos extricate themselves from delicate situations. A real politician who pursues his own interests, if necessary, will promise, lie, slander.
Excuses: no. I got sick and disappeared.

Scorpio is the first-class bastard.

A lover to create around himself a veil of mystery such that he becomes entangled in it, plus an unquenchable thirst for the ideal fogs their minds, forcing them to position themselves as an instrument of justice and retribution. If, from their point of view, you violated any rules, then you should be punished.
Excuses: no.

Sagittarius is a foolish bastard.

A very complex creature, eager to prove himself in the field of social activity and, rather, succeeding in this matter. Tram squabbles, bazaar skirmishes, all kinds of quarrels and conflicts in which you can take your soul away - this is his element.
Excuses: raised tone, meaningless text, obscene language.

Capricorn is a stupid bastard.

Just as an ostrich hides its head in the sand, believing that there is no danger like this, so the Capricorn, resting its horns "anywhere" does not want to see, feel and make decisions. Moreover, he firmly believes that if he persists in this way, the problem will be resolved on its own, and even according to his scenario, and when he sees the ashes around him, he will be stupidly surprised: “How did it happen?”.
Excuses: "It happened".

It is hardly possible now to find a person who has not read horoscopes. But in our age of science, not everyone trusts astrology, although in many ways it turns out to be accurate. But a funny characterization may well interest even the most hardened skeptics. While reading playful horoscopes, you can while away the time, have fun with the company and even learn the basics of astrology. A light humorous form, aptly emphasizing the basic qualities of each sign, helps in this interesting matter.

Aries

All the cool characteristics of the zodiac signs agree on one thing: you won't be able to find a more stubborn debater than this capricious and die-hard lamb.

Aries hates everyday routine, but they will be happy to spin around and give out their innovative ideas incessantly. It's almost impossible to make him do what he doesn't want to do. But there is one little trick. Tell the other person to do it better. At this point, Aries will break into a cake to prove their leadership and superiority.

The fiery nature of Aries is noted for the funny characteristics of the zodiac signs. In terms of the time that this person is ready to spend on conquering the object of his passion, he has no equal. A ram, he is a ram in Africa, walking right through the jungle. Aries in this case can even be christened a rocket - it acts instantly, energetically and it is simply unrealistic to get rid of his courtship. “You are attractive, I am damn attractive, so why waste time” is his motto in love.

Taurus

Here he is, a worthy competitor to Aries in terms of the degree of stubbornness. This will be confirmed not only by ordinary horoscopes, but also by any funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac. Moreover, enviable persistence is accompanied by fierce conservatism as a "bonus". Try to get Taurus to throw something out of outdated household trash and you will understand it. Whether it's a damaged disc, a notebook left over from school, or torn-up sneakers - it doesn't matter. All these things are valuable to him. And Taurus are terrible bores: listening to their endless teachings, you can not only fall asleep, but also snore.

Representatives of this constellation are closed personalities. It's easier to talk to the wall than Taurus. At least by tapping on it, you will hear a hum. In the case of Taurus, the afterlife silence and ringing silence will remain.

Taurus' attitude to love is the same as to things - the more money and time he spent trying to achieve you, the more valuable you will be to him. And do not expect originality in courtship - Taurus' conservatism extends to amorous affairs.

Twins

They are easy in deeds and thoughts. The twins are from the breed of people who will speak out "for any kipish, except hunger strike." As the funny characteristics of the zodiac signs note, in terms of date of birth and character, these personalities fully correspond to eccentric individuals who have a whole company of winds walking in their heads.

Gemini's love of chatter is truly catastrophic for those who are not Gemini themselves. For many hours they may not be silent, completely oblivious to the reaction of others. It seems that even at his own commemoration, Gemini will rise from the coffin and tell the guests wallowing in a swoon with a suitable anecdote.

The laziness of these individuals is as legendary as their speaking skills. Due to their unwillingness to delve into some topic and study it for a long time, they superficially describe this or that phenomenon, picking up a little of everything. The ideal profession for them is the one that will help them instantly and without unnecessary gestures to earn a million. Oh yes, Gemini needs a lot of money, because they spend it as easily and naturally as they chirp on the phone.

Cancer

The natures are intelligent, soft and romantic, even if outwardly they look like a callous loaf, a brutal bumpkin or an uncouth redneck. When watching non-childish films of an erotic nature, they always secretly hope that in the end the main characters will get married.

A funny characteristic of the zodiac signs compares Cancers to their namesakes from the animal kingdom. Like them, representatives of this constellation, if they take a neat step forward, then immediately run back. They are indecisive types who, because of their caution, are afraid to even change - you never know what is on the mind of the other person.

It is undesirable to joke sparklingly in the presence of Cancer, because these people are sentimental and can be upset even because of the light humor directed at them or their loved ones. Satire about animals is the strictest taboo. They would rather survive an earthquake and tsunami than endure black humor about unfortunate dogs and cats. It is also worth joking about love affairs more carefully and preferably in a romantic way - then Cancer will tell the story that amused him to everyone in a row for a long time.

a lion

The one and only He is proud and dignified, even if he is locked in a zoo cage. The wild cries of the nearby animals do not interest him - he is an important person and demonstrates this in every possible way. If we consider the main characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, a funny description highlights the royalty of this person, which, it seems, no nuisance can bring down the arrogance with.

What is good for Leo himself, it is not very fun and pleasant to his loved ones, because he needs an appeal worthy of status. In his opinion, those around him should be glad already that His Highness is nearby. The lion's aura is able to overshadow everything around with its radiance, painting even a muddy swamp with all the colors of the rainbow.

However, sometimes the whirlpool of events that the Leo generates around him may get completely different from what he would like. What can you do, such is the strength of the royal will. Do you want to recognize Leo in your environment? Listen to the manner of speaking: the use of the pronoun "I" by this type will exceed all possible limits. Not such a bad quality in our age for a person who wants to make a dizzying career, agree?

Virgo

Representatives of this constellation are the true confirmation that appearances can be deceiving. It would seem that at the word "virgin", the imagination draws us a sweet, fragile and vulnerable creature that sits at home at handicrafts. Astrologers, who make up the characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, disagree with this view. The funny irony of fate is that in reality things are "a little bit" different. Instead of a finely feeling friend who supports from hard times, a companion in all endeavors, Virgo can easily turn out to be ... a serial killer. Yes, statistics claims that most maniacs were born under this zodiac sign (and what else can you expect from such neat and neat?).

Virgo can easily use her ability to adapt to the environment and be always emphasized by a polite and correct person to achieve the desired goal. Before you can blink an eye, she is already sitting on the right hand of the director. But the object of his love will never show sympathy until he is convinced of the reciprocity of feelings and prospects. But then, even having received a refusal, he will patiently wait: suddenly something will change.

scales

Whatever the funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, by years and months they all define one thing for sure: this sign fully justifies its name. Libra people are constantly in search of mental balance, and therefore completely do not pay attention to the material world. Let someone else deal with everyday problems, be it cooking, washing or cleaning, while Libra has more lofty things to do.

People of this sign are always thrown in different directions. Having quickly caught fire with a new idea, they will use all available resources to implement it. They will connect a lot of people and create an event of a national scale, but in the middle of the way they will get tired of it all. They will quietly leave, leaving others to rake the porridge they have brewed.

Libra's impermanence extends to love affairs. Moreover, for them, this state is so familiar that after the betrayal, their conscience will not even torment them. After all, they do not attempt to destroy the family at all, and so they started an affair. Hence, they are worthy of forgiveness.

Scorpion

These are real poisonous infections. The ridiculous characteristics of the signs of the zodiac in poetry and prose praise their ability to break the hearts of everyone who comes within sight. This is due to the natural charm of Scorpions and their ability to seduce. This sign has the ability to constantly fall in love with someone, and every time "to the grave." The object of attention will be immediately confronted with this fact. It is unlikely that it will be possible to turn away from the original advances of Scorpio, and you will not want to - he is a subtle psychologist and will certainly be able to find a path to the heart of his beloved (or beloved).

Scorpios are leaders from birth and are smart beyond their years. If the representative of this sign has chosen a goal for himself, then, no matter how difficult it is, he will go towards it with principled stubbornness. And even if you have to destroy everything that gets in the way - this will not stop Scorpio. But he will build a new world after the arranged chaos with the same enthusiasm.

Sagittarius

People of this zodiac sign always achieve their goal, even if it does not happen immediately. A funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac advises to look at their symbol: everything will immediately become clear. Only if others get what they want thanks to perseverance and hard work, Sagittarius is helped in this by a tailwind, which directs the arrows shot right into the bull's-eye.

By nature, Sagittarius are real benefactors. They always try to take pity on everyone and feed the suffering (and it doesn't matter what the gifted themselves think). Their motto is "who but me?" Employers use this very well. Well, what, Sagittarius will not mind if he is loaded with a bunch of work. We just need to hint that it is very important for the company that everything is done. And how exactly - Sagittarius himself will be able to find a way.

But do not openly offend Sagittarius. No, they are not vindictive at all, just evil, and their memory is excellent. They will remind you of all the misunderstandings since kindergarten. And, in general, they will easily express the truth in person, at the risk of getting their own in the face.

Capricorn

This is a pendulum man that always balances between two extremes, according to a funny characterization of the zodiac signs. For children of this sign, adult seriousness and thoroughness are characteristic. Capricorn does not part with these qualities even in old age. He rushes headlong into work, as if into a whirlpool, and it will be simply unrealistic to pull him out. He will spend all his mental and physical strength, even on a deliberately impossible task. However, if Capricorn is impatient to go on a spree, then he will give himself up to this occupation completely, unrestrainedly having fun until complete degradation. It is possible to save him from a sad fate only if it is possible to divert attention to something more interesting.

Capricorns are incorrigible pessimists. If he is already convinced that all around are creeping bastards who have come to success over their heads or through the bed, then at least if you can comfort him on his head, you cannot convince him all the same.

Aquarius

Verbiage spills out from Aquarius like tap water. If anyone is able to withstand this flow for a long time and even be an interesting interlocutor, it is Gemini. Perhaps one can still argue who will talk over whom in the end.

Love for Aquarius is, first of all, romance: walking under the moon, meeting the dawn. Get ready with him to conquer ancient ruins shrouded in secrets - this is an indispensable attribute of courtship for him. According to the cool characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, in poetry and serenades such a person has no equal. Aquarius women are used to following the dictates of their hearts. If it suggests that you should be together, wait for her on the doorstep with suitcases.

What do Aquarius value most? Of course, They are ready to build a three-meter wall around themselves, as long as no one touches them, if you want to be alone. And no siege will help - Aquarius has made the necessary supply of cookies and will live for a long time and not grieve in his cozy little world.

Fishes

If anyone is capable of creating an alternative fictitious reality for himself and others out of nothing, it is Pisces. Moreover, for them, the world of fantasy will be as real as our usual one. They can easily convince anyone of this. Baron Munchausen, for example, according to the characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, is an inexperienced and timid fry, a faded egg.

Ask this person about anything - to water flowers in your absence, to write a diploma for you - he will certainly break into a cake, but will fulfill the request. Such an altruist is such a freak, there is nothing to be done. In love, Pisces are shy and careful, they will beat around the bush for a long time before taking a step towards them. “Vanilla” is about them: sad sighs, touching gifts, awkwardness and tears at night, and, most importantly, all thoughts are only about him (or about her). So if you are ready to take the Fish in love with you and lead by the elbow in the right direction (and then push it forward with kicks all your life) - go for it.