Is despondency a sin? Despondency is a state of apathy and depression
If we consider despondency, based on the biblical canons, then at all times it was ranked among the category of mortal sins. For what reason is despondency a sin, and if it is a sin, then how to overcome it? It became very interesting for me to understand this issue and I invite you to do it together.
Falling into a state of melancholy, sadness, despondency, sadness - a person does not think at all about the possible consequences that these negative, destructive emotions are fraught with.
Some even attribute to this state some subtlety of the mysterious Russian soul. But experts in psychiatry say that when a person is depressed for a long time, depression develops, which means a serious danger to his health and even life. Different researchers call the figure 20% - exactly how many people around the globe suffer from a depressed morale.
As for the Church, it has long since added despondency to the list of major sins. Next, we will understand what caused this.
What is despondency in Orthodoxy
Let us turn to the statement of the professor of the Russian Orthodox University, John the Theologian Viktor Trostnikov, who says the following:
“Despondency is included in the category of mortal sins exclusively in Orthodoxy. For comparison, Catholics included sadness in this list, but only in Orthodoxy is despondency singled out as a single sin.
It is for this reason that in Orthodoxy there are only 8 deadly sins, and not 7. At first glance, it may seem that sadness and despondency are one and the same. If we look in more detail, we establish that sadness is a passing feeling related to some unpleasant incidents, but this feeling is temporary, passing.
And if we are talking about despondency, then we must note that it acts as a protracted, chronic condition, and for it there are often no obvious factors. Despondency is precisely a state of mind, it is quite capable of visiting you even if outwardly everything looks quite safe. At the same time, a person himself will not be able to give an intelligible answer to the question of what he really needs.
Be that as it may, the Church calls both sadness and despondency mortal sins. A layman must perceive all the types of trials sent to him, having a whole soul, being filled with faith, hope and love in his soul. In the opposite case, he begins to renounce the whole, does not recognize this whole, and therefore condemns the doctrine of God, the world and humanity. This is one of the variations of the lack of faith. When the spirit is left to itself, and the individual is automatically doomed to various pathologies and suffering.
All mortal sins have a destructive effect on the physical and spiritual shells of a person. It is not in vain that despondency is known as "evil debauchery." When this passion begins to influence an individual, he becomes lazy, it is difficult for him to motivate himself to perform any actions. Also, he does not experience any joy and consolation, loses faith and hope for the best.
It is not in vain that there is a saying that "a dry spirit can dry up bones."
A despondent spirit dries up the bones
- sleep is disturbed (a person suffers from insomnia or increased drowsiness);
- appetite changes (increases or is lost);
- bowel problems (constipation);
- markedly reduced sexual potential;
- the general energy state decreases, the person begins to tire more of the usual physical and mental stress;
- there are various uncomfortable pain types of sensations in the trunk.
As a result of such a conflict with oneself, even organic pathology can arise. Thus, sin begins to penetrate into the physical body of a person.
In modern medicine, methods of healing from depression are offered, however, the famous specialist in this field Polishchuk, who is a doctor of medical sciences, also advises using spiritual and religious methods of psychotherapy.
He expresses the following opinion about the treatment of despondency: “If someone who suffers from depression turned to me and asked for a way out of this state, I would definitely recommend him not only to visit the temple of God, but to search for his personal spiritual mentor in one of the monasteries.
Of course, this option will be more difficult, as it requires efforts to search, but as a result, they will not just listen to you for a couple of minutes, but will try to establish the true source of mental suffering. Conversations with spiritual mentors last for several hours, and sometimes the applicant is offered to stay within the walls of the monastery for a certain time in order to endure the fast and begin to heal his soul.
Father (Berestov), acting as a hieromonk and head of the Counseling Orthodox Center of John of Kronstadt, as well as a doctor of medical sciences, is sure that a person who dreams of healing this ailment not only on a bodily, but also on a spiritual level, must definitely seek help from Holy Church.
After all, it is Orthodox medicine that is called upon to save a person, to free him from internal sins that destroy the body with the soul.”
Although, from a different position, believers who have suffered from depressive conditions should not neglect official medicine, because, according to St. Theophan the Recluse, “medicine and medicines were given to us by the Almighty and to refuse them means to reproach the Creator.”
What can lead a person to the mortal sin of despondency?
It becomes clear that despondency can seriously harm both our physical body and cause damage to our immortal soul.
But why does this passion arise? Among the main factors that provoke despondency, the following can be distinguished:
- Loss of the meaning of life.
- A state where a person is not in control of his life.
- Lost faith in yourself and in God.
- Laziness.
- Lack of responsibility.
- Loss of joy.
- Disappointment (in oneself, other people, ideals, life in general, and so on).
- Constant guilt.
- Unwillingness to admit their own mistakes.
Of course, perhaps the most important point of all of these is the meaning of life. Until a person has found the answer to the question why he lives on Earth, what is his true destiny, all attempts to achieve happiness will fail.
As a result of this, internal blocks of consciousness begin to appear, manifested in the form of irresponsibility, disbelief in one's own strengths, hatred of oneself and a complete refusal to move forward, neglect of one's capabilities.
For what reasons does the sin of despondency arise according to Orthodoxy
The Orthodox Church names its specific factors for the appearance of this passion:
- trials sent to man by God so that he can improve spiritually;
- self-loathing;
- vanity;
- loss of faith;
- godlessness;
- little spiritual life.
Due to a disturbed way of life and unwillingness to observe moral morality, people find themselves in a state of spiritual crisis, getting out of which is already quite problematic.
Despondency provokes a vicious circle: the individual is in a depressed state, he has no desire to perform any actions, such idleness plunges him even more into a state of despondency, makes him do even less something, which, as a result, is fraught with an even greater state of despondency.
The Holy Fathers say that from time to time each of us may encounter a state of natural longing. Thanks to mental suffering, moral benefactors are cultivated in a person. And when a person copes with the state of despondency, he begins to improve himself spiritually and becomes closer to the Creator.
Therefore, we can consider the sin of despondency as a test sent from above, which must be dealt with.
How to deal with discouragement
If you do not take any action, then the state of despondency can provoke a deep depression. Doctors note that it is often quite problematic (sometimes impossible) to get out of depressive states without outside help.
Modern psychology and medicine offers various methods and means that eliminate such conditions. But the church has always advised people who have undergone despondency to find a way out in prayers. But after all, as a rule, all prayers are said alone, which means that a person unconsciously closes himself even more from the outside world. Loneliness is complemented by an inner sense of guilt. The effect of such "therapy" will be very doubtful as a result.
What do modern doctors advise people in the fight against despondency? Famous psychoanalysts, psychiatrists and psychologists strongly recommend improving your life with active activities - rest, dating, entertainment. It is very easy to trace the effect of such a recommendation - you simply do not have enough time to be sad and yearn.
Of course, there are especially neglected situations when a person came to the doctor too late and drug therapy is already required. In the fight against despondency, one should not forget that it often reaches a protracted depression, and it can end very badly.
Therefore, contact a specialist as soon as you notice in yourself or one of your relatives and friends the initial symptoms of this pathology.
How to protect yourself from discouragement?
The most effective remedy for despondency is moderate exercise and maintaining an active lifestyle. When a person is subjected to stress, he gets rid of all the negativity accumulated in the body, and becomes calm, plus more confident in himself and his abilities.
In addition, in the life of every athlete, no matter whether he is a professional or an amateur, there is always a goal. In some cases, it does not manifest itself as clearly as in others and has more of the character of a struggle with oneself.
But even novice athletes, when they leave the gym, think: “Today I managed to perform such and such a load. And tomorrow I can do even more (run faster, lift more weight, and so on). And this is the goal, which is the main salvation from the state of despondency. And it doesn't really matter what the goal is.
Also try to surround yourself with positive in all its signs - let there be exceptionally cheerful people, good kind films and exciting incidents in your life. If life sends you little positive, start attracting it yourself.
Interesting expert answers to questions about despondency
It is very interesting to receive information from smart people who understand the topic of the issue. Here is the cognitive reasoning of Yuri Shcherbatykh, who is a professor of psychology at the Moscow Humanitarian and Economic Institute, as well as a doctor of biological sciences and the author of the monograph "The Seven Deadly Sins for Believers and Unbelievers."
— Who is tempted more often than others by the sin of despondency?
- Basically, these are melancholic people with reduced energy. For example, factors that lead to long-term sadness and despondency in melancholic people will cause fits of rage in choleric people, and only fleeting dissatisfaction in sanguine people.
Many famous personalities have been subjected to bouts of blues. Of the latter, famous writers and poets can be named - Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Nekrasov Nikolai Alekseevich and Guy de Maupassant.
- Besides temperament, what else influences the development of mental suffering?
- The main factor can be called the people around us, especially those close to us, who can unjustifiably hurt us, insult, slander, or simply be inattentive where we want to get attention to our person. Speaking specifically of the latter case, the real cause of discouragement is a completely different sin of pride.
In addition, our physical well-being often leads to a state of hopeless longing: apathy, pathologies, regular lack of sleep. It also happens that a person falls into a depressive state when he begins to make increased demands on the Universe.
Another passion of despondency often attacks people on the eve of a certain age limit - at forty, fifty or sixty years. At such moments, a person suddenly feels that she has lived her life absolutely in vain and in her failures exceeded successes.
- What is the danger of despondency for physical health?
- The state of despondency becomes dangerous if it reaches a depressive disorder. After all, as a result of such a depressed state, various types of biochemical disorders begin to appear in the central nervous system - first of all, the exchange of neurotransmitters (substances that affect mental performance) worsens.
It is noteworthy that very vivid and characteristic symptoms of depression are shown in the Bible by King David: “I am all bowed and drooping, I complain all day long. I am exhausted and lament beyond all measure, I scream, as my heart is constantly tormented. My heart begins to tremble, my strength has left me, I do not even have light in my eyes.
Have doctors managed to cure depression?
- Yes, American researchers were able to establish serotonin, which is a biologically active substance that affects a person's mood. And on its basis, many drugs have been invented to help fight depression.
- How to eliminate this pathological defect?
- Do not forget that depression cannot be cured with antidepressants, alcohol or drugs, on the contrary, the condition will only worsen. Also remember that your enemies and competitors will easily take advantage of world sorrow. Do not be surprised if more cheerful colleagues easily “jump” you up the career ladder, and your beloved girl cannot stand the constant grumbling and complaints and finds herself a more cheerful and active guy. Therefore, try to live in such a way that your enemies lose heart, and you be a complete optimist.
Why is despondency considered a mortal sin in Christianity, although formally a person does not do anything bad to others? What priests and psychologists say about this, and how best to deal with this condition
Despondency in Christianity is considered the seventh deadly sin, and this causes genuine surprise among many believers. In the usual view, sin is causing harm to another person, for example, theft, murder, envy, treason. In the case of despondency, the situation is more complicated: a person does not cause any inconvenience to anyone, and suffers alone. Why is such a state considered sinful, what does psychology say about this, and how can one get rid of it?
Despondency is natural, so why is it a sin
At any period of life, completely different people may experience an irresistible longing, gradually developing into despondency. This is completely natural, especially if you have to deal with traumatic situations. This may be the loss of a job, separation from loved ones, difficulty in achieving goals. Why is depression considered a sin? According to the holy fathers and theologians, a certain type of people who are "sick" with yet another sin - pride - are subject to this condition. In a state of pride, a person believes that other people and circumstances are to blame for his problems and sorrows. It begins to seem to him that everything is going awry, and there is no way out of such situations. At the same time, he does not try to find the cause of failures in himself, his behavior. The danger, according to the priests, lies in the fact that a person does not want to accept God's will for what is happening and gradually turns away from him, becoming more and more mired in pride. In the end, a person driven to despair by his own bleak thoughts can commit another grave sin - suicide, which will forever close the path to Paradise for the sinner.Despondency of the soul: the psychology of the state
What does psychology think about the despondency of the soul? This condition is considered a harbinger of depression, and occurs as a result of unresolved internal conflicts or prolonged stress.
Internal conflicts are when expectations do not match reality. People with a melancholic temperament are prone to this, whom the slightest trouble unsettles for a long time. And if such events occur constantly, a person becomes discouraged and stops trying to somehow influence the events.
A person ceases to rejoice at what until recently made him happy, loses his life orientation, what is happening seems to him bleak and meaningless. Gradually, the once fulfilling life turns into a dull existence, when nothing pleases and does not encourage action. People rarely come to a psychologist for a consultation, and then when the patient may need the help of a psychotherapist to resolve the situation.
Is it possible to equate despondency with boredom
The question often arises: are despondency and boredom the same thing? Not really. Boredom is the first "step" to slipping into despondency, when a person begins to stop getting satisfaction from his life. This condition, with timely detection, can be corrected. For more successful work on yourself, you can consult a psychologist who will tell you “sore spots” and help correct them.In the case of despondency, work with a specialist will be lengthy; with prolonged depression, antidepressants may be required.
The cure for despondency - methods of salvation
Medicines for despondency will be different for psychologists and priests.
Psychologists' advice:
- You should accept the fact that you will have to deal with despondency on your own, with passive behavior it will not go anywhere, but will only intensify. Volitional coercion is extremely important here, without this it is impossible to get rid of this state
- You can remember what hobbies and activities brought joy before, and start doing it again, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Look for joyful moments in the past, in the present also focus on the positive
- If a person feels that it is difficult for him to cope on his own, you should contact a psychologist. It will help you look at the situation from the outside, find “pain points” and make a correction.
- In some cases, despondency is not a psychological but a physiological problem. This may be due to disturbances in the endocrine system, or be, along with other symptoms, a harbinger of various diseases. Therefore, it would be useful to undergo a medical examination to identify possible hidden pathologies.
- Spend more time in nature, consume fresh vegetables and fruits to eliminate vitamin deficiency
- Exercising also helps increase serotonin, the “hormone of joy,” and will help fight despondency.
- Aromatherapy, massage are auxiliary means that have a beneficial effect on the state of mind
- Communicate with dear and beloved people so as not to feel lonely and feel their importance to others
Important! It is worth mentioning that this way of getting rid of despondency is much more difficult than the advice of psychologists, but ultimately much more effective.
Prayer from despondency and despair - so that for sure
In the fight against the sin of despondency and despair, prayer will help such saints as Nikolai Ugodnik, the Mother of God, John of Kronstadt, Great Martyr Barbara.
In order for the prayer to be done to bring peace to the soul, the following points should be considered:
- You need to pray in a quiet, secluded place where nothing will distract or interfere
- The text of the prayer should be read slowly and thoughtfully in order to understand every word
- You can pronounce words both aloud and silently
How to deal with discouragement: video
Below you can watch a video that talks about how to better and more effectively deal with discouragement:
At the dawn of the birth of Christianity, the Greek monk Evagrius of Pontus formulated a whole system of mortal sins, which at that time included pride, envy, laziness, malice, lust, greed and gluttony. There were seven in total. From childhood, the Christian was inspired that he should work from morning until late at night, since laziness is a mortal sin. Christians ate poorly because gluttony was also a mortal sin. They also could not be proud, envious, greedy, evil and lustful. But after some time, this list was made more humane, so to speak.
Despondency is a sin
People, despite the fear of being in eternal torment in hell, still did not want to deprive themselves of worldly entertainment and pleasures. How not to treat yourself to carnal pleasure or a feast with your friends? Thus, some prohibitions were edited and relaxed in the list of deadly sins. For example, Pope Gregory the Great removed fornication from it, and laziness and gluttony were removed from it. Some sins have generally passed into the category of human “weaknesses”.
However, something else is interesting, Pope Gregory the Great, allowing his flock to mitigate the sin of adultery with repentance and prayer, suddenly introduces despondency into the list of deadly sins - it would seem, an absolutely innocent property for the human soul. I would like to note that despondency remained unchanged on the list, and moreover, many theologians to this day consider it the most serious of all mortal sins.
Mortal sin - despondency
So why is despondency considered? The whole point is that when a person is overcome by despondency, he becomes of little use for anything, he shows indifference to absolutely everything, and especially to people. He cannot perform decent and high-quality work, he is not able to create, friendship and love also do not please him. Therefore, it was fair to attribute despondency to mortal sins, but it was in vain that lust and fornication were removed from this list.
Anguish, despondency, depression, sadness, sadness... Getting under the power of these, we do not even think about what negative and crushing power they have. Many believe that these are some subtleties of the state of the mysterious Russian soul, I think there is some truth in this. However, psychotherapists consider all this to be a very dangerous phenomenon, and that a long stay in this state leads to depression, and sometimes to the most irreparable - suicide. Therefore, the Church considers despondency a mortal sin.
Despondency or sadness?
Despondency is a mortal sin, which in Orthodox theology is treated as a separate sin, while in Catholicism there is sadness among the mortal sins. Many cannot discern any special difference between these emotional states. However, sadness is seen as some kind of temporary mental disorder associated with some unpleasant event or incident. But despondency can come for no reason, when a person suffers and cannot explain such a state of his even with complete external well-being.
Despite all this, the Church believes that one should be able to perceive any trials with a cheerful state of mind, true faith, hope and love. Otherwise, it turns out that a person does not recognize a single whole doctrine about God, about the world and about man. This kind of unbelief leaves the soul to itself, thereby dooming a person to mental illness.
Depressed means unbelieving
Such a mortal sin (despondency) is referred to as evil debauchery, under the influence of this a person begins to be lazy and cannot force himself to the necessary saving actions, since nothing comforts or pleases him, he does not believe in anything and does not even hope. Ultimately, all this directly affects the soul of a person, destroying it, and then his body. Despondency is the exhaustion of the mind, the relaxation of the soul and the accusation of God of inhumanity and unmercifulness.
Symptoms of depression
It is important to identify the symptoms in time, by which you can notice that destructive processes have begun. These are sleep disturbances (drowsiness or insomnia), intestinal malfunctions (constipation), changes in appetite (overeating or lack of appetite), decreased sexual activity, fatigue during mental and physical exertion, as well as impotence, weakness, pain in the stomach, in muscles and heart.
Conflict with self and with God
The conflict, first of all with oneself, gradually begins to develop into an organic disease. Despondency is a bad mood and spirit, accompanied by. Thus, sin grows into human nature and acquires a medical aspect. The Orthodox Church in this case offers only one way to recovery - this is reconciliation with oneself and with God. And for this it is necessary to engage in moral self-improvement and at the same time use spiritual and religious psychotherapeutic techniques and methods.
A person suffering from depression can be advised to find an experienced confessor from the monastery for himself to help him get out of this terrible state. A conversation with him can last up to several hours, until he figure out what is the source of such deep spiritual sorrow, he may have to stay in the monastery for some time. And only then it will be possible to start healing the soul. After all, despondency is a serious disease that can still be treated.
Orthodox medicine
A person who has decided to fight this kind of bodily and spiritual illness will urgently need to change his lifestyle and start active churching. For many people, it is a serious illness that leads to an understanding of their sinful life, so they begin to look for a way out on the gospel path. The main thing in Orthodox medicine is to help a sick person free himself from his own passions and thoughts, which are connected to the general process of destruction of the body and soul. At the same time, a believer, faced with an illness, should not refuse professional medical care. After all, it is also from God, and to refuse it means to reproach the Creator.
Despondency - what is despondency and fight with despondency?
Despondency - what is despondency and how to deal with despondency? Here is a true story of one of our contemporary. He is 35. He is quite a successful businessman. He has a beautiful and modest wife and a little daughter, a large apartment in Moscow, a dacha, two cars, a lot of friends… He has what a lot of people aspire to and dream about. But none of this pleases him. He forgot what joy is. Every day he is oppressed by longing, from which he tries to hide in business, but to no avail. He considers himself an unhappy person, but cannot say why. There is money. Health, youth - is. But there is no happiness.
He tries to fight, to find a way out. She regularly visits a psychologist, several times a year she goes to special seminars. After them, for a short time, he feels relief, but then everything returns to normal. He says to his wife: “Let this not make me feel better, but at least they understand me there.” He tells friends and family that he suffers from depression.
There is one special circumstance in his position, which we will discuss a little later. And now we have to admit that, unfortunately, this is not an isolated example. There are many such people. Of course, not all of them are in such an outwardly advantageous position, so they often say: I feel sad because I don’t have enough money, or I don’t have my own apartment, or the job is not right, or the wife is grumpy, or the husband is a drunkard, or the car broke down, or no health and so on and so forth. It seems to them that if they change and improve something a little, then the melancholy will pass. They spend a lot of energy on achieving what, as it seems to them, they just lack, but they hardly manage to achieve what they want, when again, after a brief joy, melancholy piles up. You can sort through apartments, places of work, women, cars, friends, hobbies, but nothing can once and for all quench this all-devouring hopeless sorrow. And the more wealthy a person is, the more it torments him, as a rule.
Psychologists define this condition as depression. They describe it as a mental disorder that usually occurs after negative events in a person's life, but often develops without any apparent reason. Depression is currently the most common mental illness.
The main symptoms of depression are: depressed mood, independent of circumstances; loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities; fatigue, "loss of strength."
Additional symptoms: pessimism, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, anxiety and fear, inability to concentrate and make decisions, thoughts of death and suicide; unstable appetite, disturbed sleep - insomnia or oversleeping.
In order to be diagnosed with depression, it is enough to have two main and two additional symptoms.
If a person has found these symptoms in himself, what should he do? Many go to psychologists. And what do they get? Firstly, self-digging conversations, and secondly, antidepressant pills, of which there are a great many. Psychologists say that depression in most cases is successfully treated. But at the same time, it is recognized that this is the most common mental illness. Here you can see a contradiction: after all, if the disease is successfully treated, then why does it not disappear, and the number of patients even increases over time? For example, smallpox has been successfully eradicated, and for a long time there are no people who would get sick with it. And with depression, the picture is just the opposite. Why?
Is it not because only the manifestations of the disease are cured, and its true foundations are still preserved in the souls of people, like the roots of weeds that again and again release harmful shoots?
Psychology is a young science. It received official registration only 130 years ago, when in 1879 W. Wundtot opened the first experimental psychology laboratory in Leipzig.
Orthodoxy is 2000 years old. And it has its own view of the phenomenon that psychology calls "depression." And it would not be superfluous to get acquainted with this view for those who are really interested in the possibility of successfully getting rid of depression.
In Orthodoxy, the word "despondency" is used to denote this state of mind. This is a painful state in which a dreary mood penetrates the soul, which becomes constant over time, a feeling of loneliness comes, abandoned by relatives, loved ones, by all people in general and even by God. There are two main types of despondency: despondency with a complete depression of the spirit, without a feeling of any bitterness, and despondency with an admixture of feelings of anger, irritability.
This is how the ancient holy fathers of the Church speak of despondency.
“Despondency is the relaxation of the soul and the exhaustion of the mind, the slanderer of God - as if He is merciless and inhuman” (St. John of the Ladder).
“Despondency is a severe torment of the soul, unspeakable torment and punishment more bitter than any punishment and torment” (St. John Chrysostom).
This condition is also found among believers, and among non-believers it is even more common. The elder said about them: “A person who does not believe in God and in the future life exposes his immortal soul to eternal condemnation and lives without consolation in this life. Nothing can comfort him. He is afraid of losing his life, suffers, goes to psychiatrists who give him pills and advise him to have fun. He takes pills, goes crazy, and then goes back and forth to see the sights and forget the pain.”
And here is how Saint Innocent of Kherson wrote about this: “Do sinners suffer from despondency, who do not rejoice in the salvation of their souls? Yes, and most often, although, apparently, their life consists mostly of fun and comfort. Even in all fairness, one can say that inner discontent and secret anguish are a constant share of sinners. For conscience, no matter how much it is muffled, is like a worm that wears away the heart. An involuntary, deep foreboding of the future judgment and retribution also disturbs the sinful soul and grieves for it the insane pleasures of sensuality. The most inveterate sinner at times feels that inside him is emptiness, darkness, ulcer and death. Hence the uncontrollable inclination of unbelievers to unceasing amusements, to forget themselves and be beside themselves.
What to say to unbelievers about their despondency? It is good for them; for it serves as an invocation and an inducement to repentance. And let them not think that any means has been found for them to free themselves from this spirit of despondency, until they turn to the path of righteousness and correct themselves and their manners. Vain pleasures and earthly joys will never fill the emptiness of the heart: our soul is more spacious than the whole world. On the contrary, with the passage of time, carnal joys will lose their power to entertain and charm the soul and turn into a source of spiritual heaviness and boredom.
Someone may object: is every sad state really despondency? No, not everyone. Sadness and grief, if they are not rooted in a person, are not a disease. They are inevitable on the difficult earthly path, as the Lord warned: “In the world you will have sorrow; but take heart: I have overcome the world ”().
“Satan maliciously tries to grieve many in order to cast them into hell with despair” (St. Ephraim the Syrian). “The spirit of despair brings the most severe torment. Despair is the most perfect joy of the devil” (St. Mark the Ascetic).
“Sin destroys not so much as despair” (St. John Chrysostom). “To sin is a human thing, but to despair is satanic and destructive; and the devil himself was cast down in despair into perdition, for he did not want to repent” (St. Nilus of Sinai).
“The devil plunges us into thoughts of despair for this, in order to destroy the hope in God, this safe anchor, this support of our life, this guide on the path to Heaven, this is the salvation of perishing souls ... The evil one does everything to inspire us with the thought of despair. He will no longer need efforts and labors for our defeat, when the fallen and lying ones themselves do not want to resist him ... and the soul, having once despaired of its salvation, no longer feels how it is striving into the abyss ”(St. John Chrysostom).
Despair leads directly to death. It precedes suicide, the most terrible sin that immediately sends a person to hell - a place remote from God, where there is no light of God and no joy, only darkness and eternal despair. Suicide is the only sin that cannot be forgiven, because the suicide can no longer repent.
“During the free suffering of the Lord, two fell away from the Lord - Judas and Peter: one sold, and the other was rejected three times. Both had the same sin, both seriously sinned, but Peter was saved, and Judas perished. Why were not both saved and not both perished? Some will say that Peter was saved by repentance. But the holy Gospel says that Judas also repented: “... having repented, he returned thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying: I have sinned, betraying innocent blood” (); however, his repentance is not accepted, but Petrovo is accepted; Peter escaped, but Judas perished. Why so? And because Peter repented with hope and hope in the mercy of God, Judas repented with despair. This abyss is terrible! Without a doubt, it must be filled with hope for the mercy of God” (St. Demetrius of Rostov).
“Judas the traitor, having fallen into despair,“ strangled himself ”(). He knew the power of sin, but did not know the greatness of God's mercy. So many do now and follow Judas. They know the multitude of their sins, but they do not know the multitude of God's bounties, and so they despair of their salvation. Christian! a heavy and final diabolical blow is despair. He presents God as merciful before sin, and after sin as just. Such is his cunning” (St. Tikhon of Zadonsk).
So, tempting a person to sin, Satan inspires him with thoughts: “God is good, He will forgive,” and after sin, he tries to plunge him into despair, suggesting completely different thoughts: “God is just, and He will punish you for what you have done” . The devil inspires a person that he will never be able to get out of the pit of sin, will not be merciful by God, will not be able to receive forgiveness and correct himself.
Despair is the death of hope. If it comes, then only a miracle can save a person from suicide.
How despondency and its generations manifest themselves
Despondency is manifested even in facial expressions and behavior of a person: an expression on the face, which is called so - sad, slumped shoulders, drooping head, lack of interest in the environment and one's condition. There may be a permanent decrease in blood pressure. It is also characterized by lethargy, inertia of the soul. The good mood of others causes bewilderment, irritation and overt or covert protest in a dull person.
St. John Chrysostom said that “the soul, embraced by sadness, cannot speak or listen to anything healthy,” and the Monk Nilus of Sinai testified: “Just as a sick person cannot bear a heavy burden, so a dull one is not able to carefully fulfill God’s deeds; for that one has bodily strength in disorder, but this one has no spiritual strength left.”
According to St. John Cassian, such a state of a person “does not allow one to perform prayers with the usual zeal of the heart, nor to engage in sacred reading with benefit, it does not allow one to be calm and meek with brothers; to all the duties of work or worship makes him impatient and incapable, intoxicates the feeling, crushes and overwhelms with painful despair. Like a moth to a garment and a worm to a tree, so sadness harms the heart of a person.
Further, the holy father lists the manifestations of this sinful painful state: “Discontent, cowardice, irritability, idleness, drowsiness, anxiety, vagrancy, inconstancy of mind and body, talkativeness are born from despondency ... spiritual success; then he will make him fickle, idle, negligent in every business.
These are manifestations of despondency. And despair has even more serious manifestations. A person who is desperate, that is, who has lost hope, often indulges in drug addiction, drunkenness, fornication and many other obvious sins, believing that he is already dead anyway. The extreme manifestation of despair, as already mentioned, is suicide.
Every year, a million people around the world commit suicide. It is terrible to think about this number, which exceeds the population of many countries.
In our country, the largest number of suicides was in 1995. Compared to this indicator, by 2008 it had decreased by one and a half times, but still Russia remains among the countries with the highest suicide rate.
Indeed, more suicides occur in poor and disadvantaged countries than in rich and economically stable ones. This is not surprising, since in the first, people have more reasons to be discouraged. But still, even the richest countries and the richest people are not free from this misfortune. Because under external well-being, the soul of an unbeliever often feels even more acutely painful emptiness and constant dissatisfaction, as was the case with that successful businessman whom we mentioned at the beginning of the article.
But he can be saved from the terrible fate that annually overtakes a million people by the special circumstance that he has and which many of those unfortunate people who drive themselves to suicide in despair are deprived of.
From what do despondency and its offspring grow?
Despondency arises from distrust of God, so we can say that it is the fruit of lack of faith.
But what, in turn, is distrust of God and lack of faith? It does not arise by itself, out of nowhere. It is a consequence of the fact that a person trusts himself too much, because he thinks too high of himself. And the more a person trusts himself, the less he trusts God. And trusting yourself more than God is the clearest sign of pride.
The first root of despondency is pride
Therefore, in the words of St. Anatoly of Optina, “despair is a product of pride. If you expect everything bad from yourself, you will never despair, but you will only humble yourself and peacefully repent.” “Despair is a denouncer of unbelief and selfishness in the heart: he who believes in himself and trusts in himself will not rise from sin with repentance” (St. Theophan the Recluse).
As soon as something happens in the life of a proud man that exposes his impotence and unfounded confidence in himself, he immediately becomes discouraged and despairs.
And this can happen from a variety of reasons: from offended pride or from what is not being done in our own way; also from vanity, when a person sees that his equals use b about greater advantages than he; or from the embarrassing circumstances of life, as St. Ambrose of Optina testifies to this.
A humble person who believes in God knows that these unpleasant circumstances test and strengthen his faith, just as the muscles of an athlete in training are strengthened; he knows that God is near and that He will not put more trials than he can bear. Such a person, who trusts in God, never loses heart even in difficult circumstances.
The proud man, relying on himself, as soon as he finds himself in difficult circumstances that he himself cannot change, immediately falls into despondency, thinking that if he cannot correct what happened, then no one can correct it; moreover, at the same time, he is sad and annoyed because these circumstances have shown him his own weakness, which the proud cannot endure calmly.
Precisely because despondency and despair are a consequence and, in a certain sense, a demonstration of disbelief in God, one of the saints said: “In a moment of despair, know that it is not the Lord who leaves you, but you the Lord!”
So, pride and lack of faith are some of the main causes of despondency and despair, but still far from the only ones.
St. John of the Ladder speaks of two main types of despair, arising from different causes: “There is despair that comes from a multitude of sins and a burden of conscience and unbearable sorrow, when the soul, due to the multitude of these ulcers, sinks and drowns in the depths of hopelessness from their severity. But there is despair of another kind, which comes from pride and haughtiness, when the fallen think that they did not deserve their fall ... From the first, abstinence and good faith heal; and from the latter - humility and not judging anyone.
The second root of despondency is the dissatisfaction of passions
So, with regard to the second kind of despair, which comes from pride, we have already shown what its mechanism is. And what is meant by the first kind, "proceeding from a multitude of sins"?
This kind of despondency, according to the holy fathers, comes when some passion has not found satisfaction. As St. John Cassian writes, despondency "is born from the dissatisfaction of the desire for some kind of self-interest, when someone sees that he has lost the hope born in the mind to receive some things."
For example, a glutton who suffers from a peptic ulcer or diabetes will be discouraged because he cannot enjoy the desired amount of food or the variety of its taste; a stingy person - because he cannot avoid spending money, and so on. Despondency is accompanied by almost any unsatisfied sinful desires, if a person does not refuse them for one reason or another.
Therefore, St. Nilus of Sinai says: “He who is bound by sorrow is overcome by passions, because sorrow is the result of failure in carnal desire, and desire is associated with every passion. He who conquered passions does not possess sadness. Just as a sick person is seen by the complexion, so sadness reveals the passionate. Whoever loves the world will grieve a lot. And whoever neglects what is in the world will always be glad.”
As despondency grows in a person, specific desires lose their significance, and there remains a state of mind that seeks precisely those desires that cannot be fulfilled - already to feed the despondency itself.
Then, according to the testimony of the Monk John Cassian, “we are subjected to such sorrow that we cannot receive even kind faces and our relatives with usual friendliness, and no matter what they say in a decent conversation, everything seems to us untimely and superfluous, and we do not give a pleasant answer to them, when all the curves of our hearts are filled with bile bitterness.
Therefore, despondency is like a swamp: the longer a person plunges into it, the harder it is for him to get out of it.
Other roots of sadness
The causes that excite despondency in unbelievers and in people of little faith have been described above. However, despondency attacks, albeit less successfully, believers. But for other reasons. St. Innokenty of Kherson writes in detail about these reasons:
“There are many sources of despondency – both external and internal.
First, in the souls of the pure and close to perfection, despondency can come from leaving them for a while by the grace of God. The state of grace is the most blessed. But lest he who is in this state imagine that it comes from his own perfections, grace sometimes withdraws, leaving his favorite to himself. Then the same thing happens to the holy soul, as if midnight had come in the middle of the day: darkness, coldness, deadness, and at the same time despondency appear in the soul.
Secondly, despondency, as people experienced in the spiritual life testify, comes from the action of the spirit of darkness. Unable to deceive the soul on the way to heaven with the blessings and pleasures of the world, the enemy of salvation turns to an opposite means and brings despondency to it. In such a state, the soul is like a traveler, suddenly caught in darkness and fog: it sees neither what is ahead nor what is behind; doesn't know what to do; loses courage, falls into indecision.
The third source of despondency is our fallen, impure, weakened nature, dead from sin. As long as we act out of self-love, filled with the spirit of the world and passions, until then this nature in us is cheerful and alive. But change the direction of life, go from the wide path of the world to the narrow path of Christian self-denial, set about repentance and self-correction—an emptiness will immediately open inside of you, spiritual impotence will be revealed, heart deadness will be felt. As long as the soul does not have time to be filled with a new spirit of love for God and neighbor, until then the spirit of despondency, to a greater or lesser extent, is inevitable for it. This kind of despondency is most experienced by sinners after their conversion.
The fourth, the usual source of spiritual despondency, is a lack, much less a cessation of activity. Having ceased to use its strengths and abilities, the soul loses its liveliness and vigor, becomes lethargic; the former occupations themselves oppose her: discontent and boredom appear.
Despondency can also occur from various sad events in life, such as: the death of relatives and loved ones, loss of honor, property and other unfortunate adventures. All this, according to the law of our nature, is accompanied by unpleasantness and sorrow for us; but, according to the law of nature itself, this sadness should decrease with time and disappear when a person does not indulge in sadness. Otherwise, a spirit of despondency is formed.
Despondency can also occur from certain thoughts, especially gloomy and heavy ones, when the soul indulges too much in such a thought and looks at objects not in the light of faith and the Gospel. Thus, for example, a person can easily fall into despondency from frequent reflection on the unrighteousness that prevails in the world, about how the righteous here mourn and suffer, while the wicked are exalted and blissful.
Finally, various morbid conditions of the body, especially some of its members, can be the source of spiritual despondency.
How to deal with despondency and its creations
The great Russian saint, Rev. Seraphim of Sarov said: “You need to remove despondency from yourself and try to have a joyful spirit, and not a sad one. According to Sirach, “sorrow has killed many, but there is no benefit in it ()””.
But how exactly can you remove despondency from yourself?
Let us recall the unfortunate young businessman mentioned at the beginning of the article, who for many years can do nothing with the despondency that gripped him. He was convinced from his own experience of the truth of the words of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov): “Earthly entertainments only drown out sorrow, but do not exterminate it: they fell silent, and again sorrow, rested and, as it were, strengthened by rest, begins to act with greater force.”
Now it's time to tell in more detail about that special circumstance in the life of this businessman, which we mentioned earlier.
His wife is a deeply religious person, and she is free from that gloomy, impenetrable longing that shrouded her husband's life. He knows that she is a believer, that she goes to church and reads Orthodox books, as well as that she does not have "depression". But for all the years that they have been together, it has never occurred to him to connect these facts together and try to go to the temple himself, read the Gospel ... He still regularly visits a psychologist, receiving short-term relief, but not healing.
How many people are exhausted from this mental illness, not wanting to believe that healing is just around the corner. And this businessman, unfortunately, is one of them. We would like to write that one fine day he became interested in faith, which gives his wife the strength not to succumb to despondency and keep the pure joy of life. But, alas, so far this has not happened. And until then, he will remain among those unfortunates, about whom St. Demetrius of Rostov said: “There is no sorrow for the righteous that would not turn into joy, just as there is no joy for sinners that would not turn into sorrow.”
But if suddenly this businessman turned to the treasury of the Orthodox faith, what would he find out about his condition and what methods of healing would he receive?
He would have learned, among other things, that there is a spiritual reality in the world and that spiritual beings are active: the good ones are angels and the evil ones are demons. The latter, out of their malice, seek to cause as much harm as possible to the human soul, turning him away from God and from the path to salvation. These are enemies seeking to kill a person both spiritually and bodily. For their purposes, they use different methods, among them the most common is the suggestion of certain thoughts and feelings to people. Including thoughts of despondency and despair.
The trick is that demons try to convince a person that these are his own thoughts. A person who does not believe or has little faith is completely unprepared for such a temptation and does not know how to relate to such thoughts, he really takes them for his own. And, following them, he comes closer and closer to death - in the same way, a traveler in the desert, mistaking a mirage for a true vision, begins to chase after him and goes further and further into the depths of a lifeless desert.
A believer and spiritually experienced person knows about the existence of the enemy and about his tricks, knows how to recognize his thoughts and cut them off, thereby successfully opposing demons and defeating them.
A despondent person is not one who experiences thoughts of despondency at times, but one who is defeated by them and does not fight. And vice versa, it is not the one who has never experienced such thoughts that is free from despondency - there are no such people on earth, but the one who fights with them and defeats them.
St. John Chrysostom said: “Excessive despondency is more harmful than any demonic action, because demons, if they rule in someone, then rule through despondency.”
But if a person was deeply struck by the spirit of despondency, if the demons received such power in him, then it means that the person himself did something that gave them such power over him.
It has already been said above that one of the reasons for despondency among unbelievers is the lack of faith in God and, accordingly, the lack of a living connection with Him, the source of all joy and good. But the lack of faith is rarely something innate for a person.
Faith in a person is killed by unrepentant sin. If a person sins and does not want to repent and renounce sin, then sooner or later he inevitably loses faith.
Conversely, faith is resurrected in sincere repentance and confession of sins.
Non-believers themselves deprive themselves of two of the most effective ways to deal with depression - repentance and prayer. “The destruction of despondency is served by prayer and unceasing meditation on God,” writes the monk.
It is worth giving a list of the main means of combating despondency that a Christian has at his disposal. Saint Innocent of Kherson speaks of them:
“No matter what despondency comes from, prayer is always the first and last remedy against it. In prayer, a person stands directly in the face of God: but if, standing against the sun, it is impossible not to be illuminated by light and not to feel warmth, all the more so, spiritual light and warmth are the immediate consequences of prayer. In addition, prayer attracts grace and help from above, from the Holy Spirit, and where the Spirit is the Comforter, there is no place for despondency, there sorrow itself will be sweet.
Reading or listening to the word of God, especially the New Testament, is also a powerful remedy for discouragement. It was not in vain that the Savior called to Himself all those who labor and are burdened, promising them peace and joy. He did not take this joy with Him to heaven, but left it entirely in the Gospel for all those who grieve and are despondent in spirit. Whoever is imbued with the spirit of the Gospel ceases to mourn joylessly: for the spirit of the Gospel is the spirit of peace, comfort and joy.
Divine services, and especially the holy sacraments of the Church, are also great medicine against the spirit of despondency, for in the church, as the house of God, there is no place for it; the sacraments are all directed against the spirit of darkness and the weaknesses of our nature, especially the sacrament of confession and communion. Laying off the burden of sins through confession, the soul feels lightness and vigor, and receiving the body and blood of the Lord in the Eucharist, it feels revival and joy.
Conversations with people rich in Christian spirit are also a remedy for despondency. In conversation, we generally come out more or less from the gloomy inner depths into which the soul plunges from despondency; besides this, through the exchange of thoughts and feelings in the conversation, we will borrow from those who are talking to us a certain strength and vitality, which is so necessary in a state of despondency.
Reflection on comforting objects. For a thought in a dull state either does not act at all, or circles around sad things. To get rid of despondency, one must force oneself to think otherwise.
Occupation of oneself with bodily labor also drives away despondency. Let him begin to work, even reluctantly; let him continue the work, although without success: from the movement the body comes to life, and then the spirit, and cheerfulness is felt; Thought in the midst of labor will inconspicuously turn away from objects that bring melancholy, and this already means a lot in a state of despondency.
Prayer
Why is prayer the most effective remedy for discouragement? For many reasons.
First, when we pray during despondency, we thereby fight against the demon that is trying to plunge us into this despondency. He does this so that we despair and move away from God, this is his plan; when we turn to God in prayer, we destroy the enemy’s tricks, showing that we did not fall into his trap, did not surrender to him, but, on the contrary, we use his intrigues as an excuse to strengthen the connection with God that the demon tried to break .
Secondly, since despondency in most cases is a consequence of our pride, prayer helps to heal from this passion, that is, it pulls out the very root of despondency from the earth. After all, every humble prayer asking God for help - even such a short one as “Lord, have mercy!” - means that we recognize our weakness and limitations and begin to trust God more than ourselves. Therefore, each such prayer, even uttered through force, is a blow to pride, similar to the blow of a huge weight that crushes the walls of dilapidated houses.
And finally, thirdly, and most importantly: prayer helps because it is an appeal to God, Who alone can really help in any, even the most hopeless situation; the only one who is strong enough to give true consolation and joy and freedom from despondency.
“In sorrows and temptations, the Lord helps us. He does not free us from them, but gives us the strength to endure them easily, not even noticing them. If we are with Christ and in Christ, then no sorrow will confuse us, and joy will fill our hearts so that we will rejoice both during sorrows and during temptations” (St. Nikon of Optina).
Some advise praying to the guardian angel, who is always invisibly next to us, ready to support us. Others advise reading the Akathist to the Sweetest Jesus. There is also advice to read the prayer “Our Lady of the Virgin, rejoice” many times in a row, with the hope that the Lord will certainly give peace to our souls for the sake of the prayers of the Mother of God.
But the advice of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) deserves special attention, who recommended during times of despondency to repeat such words and prayers as often as possible.
"Thank God for everything".
"God! I surrender to Your Holy Will! Be with me Thy Will."
"God! I thank You for everything You are pleased to send to me.”
“I accept what is worthy according to my deeds; remember me, Lord, in your kingdom."
The Holy Fathers noted that it is especially difficult for a person to pray in despondency. Therefore, not everyone will be able to fulfill the large prayer rules at once, but everyone can say those short prayers that St. Ignatius indicated, this is not difficult.
As for the unwillingness to pray in despondency and despair, we must understand that this is not our feeling, but a demon instilled in us specifically for the purpose of depriving us of the weapon with which we can defeat him.
St. Tikhon of Zadonsk speaks of this unwillingness to pray in despondency: “I advise you the following: convince yourself and force yourself to prayer and to every good deed, although you don’t feel like it. Just as people drive a lazy horse with a whip so that it walks or runs, so we need to force ourselves to do everything, and especially to prayer. Seeing such work and diligence, the Lord will give desire and diligence.
Of the four phrases proposed by St. Ignatius, two are phrases of gratitude. About why they are given, he himself explains: when such thoughts come, thanksgiving is pronounced in simple words, with attention and often - until peace is brought to the heart. There is no sense in mournful thoughts: they do not relieve grief, they do not bring any help, they only upset the soul and body. This means that they are from demons and it is necessary to drive them away from oneself ... Thanksgiving first calms the heart, then brings consolation to it, and subsequently brings heavenly joy - a guarantee, a foretaste of eternal joy.
During despair, demons inspire a person with the idea that there is no salvation for him and his sins cannot be forgiven. This is the greatest demonic lie!
“Let no one say: “I have sinned a lot, there is no forgiveness for me.” Whoever says this forgets about the One Who came to earth for the sake of the suffering and said: “... there is joy among the angels of God and about one sinner who repents” () and also: “I came to call not the righteous, but sinners to repentance” () " - teaches St. Ephraim the Syrian. As long as a person is alive, it is really possible for him to repent and receive forgiveness of sins, no matter how serious they may be, and, having received forgiveness, transform his life, fill it with joy and light. And demons are trying to deprive a person of this very opportunity, instilling in him thoughts of despair and suicide, because after death it is already impossible to repent.
So “none of the people, even having reached the extreme degree of evil, should not despair, even if he has acquired the skill and entered into the nature of evil itself” (St. John Chrysostom).
St. Tikhon of Zadonsk explains that being tested by despondency and despair makes a Christian more cautious and experienced in spiritual life. And "the longer" such a temptation continues, "the more benefit it will bring to the soul."
The Orthodox Christian knows that the more severe the sorrow of all other temptations, the greater the reward will be received by those who endure sorrow with patience. And in the fight against despondency, the greatest crown is bestowed. Therefore, “let us not lose heart when afflictions and sorrows befall us, but, on the contrary, we will become more glad that we are walking the path of the saints,” advises St. Ephraim the Syrian.
God is always near each of us, and He does not allow demons to afflict a person with despondency as much as they would like. He gave us freedom, and He also makes sure that no one takes this gift from us. So at any moment a person can turn to God for help and repent.
If a person does not do this, this is his choice, the demons themselves are not able to force him to do so.
In conclusion, I would like to quote a prayer composed by St. Demetrius of Rostov just for people suffering from despondency:
God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Father of bounty and God of all comfort, comforting us in all our sorrow! Comfort every one who is grieving, saddened, in despair, overwhelmed by the spirit of despondency. After all, every person was created by Your hands, wise in wisdom, exalted by Your right hand, glorified by Your goodness ... But now we are visited by Your Fatherly punishment, short-term sorrows! “You compassionately punish those you love, and you show mercy generously and look down on their tears!” So, having punished, have mercy and quench our sorrow; turn sorrow into joy and dissolve our sorrow with joy; surprise us with Thy mercy, wonderful in the advice of the Lord, incomprehensible in the destinies of the Lord and blessed in Thy deeds forever, amen.
Vasily Lvov
Contrary to popular belief, the expression "seven deadly sins" does not at all refer to certain seven acts that would be the most serious sins. In fact, the list of such actions can be much longer. And the number "seven" here only indicates the conditional association of these sins into seven main groups.
For the first time such a classification was proposed by St. Gregory the Great in 590. Although along with it in the Church there has always been another classification, numbering not seven, but. Passion is a skill of the soul, which was formed in it from repeated repetition of the same sins and became, as it were, its natural quality - so that a person cannot get rid of passion even when he realizes that it no longer brings him pleasure, but torment. Actually, the word "passion" in the Church Slavonic language just means - suffering.
St. Theophan the Recluse writes about the difference between a mortal sin and a less serious one: “ Deadly sin there is one who robs a person of his moral-Christian life. If we know what the moral life is, then the definition of mortal sin is not difficult. Christian life is zeal and strength to be in communion with God by fulfilling His holy law. Therefore, every sin that extinguishes jealousy, takes away strength and weakens, separates from God and deprives Him of His grace, so that a person after it cannot look at God, but feels himself separated from Him; every such sin is a mortal sin. ... Such a sin deprives a person of the grace received in baptism, takes away the Kingdom of Heaven and gives it to judgment. And all this is affirmed in the hour of sin, although it is not done visibly. Sins of this kind change the whole direction of a person's activity and his very condition and heart, they form, as it were, a new source in moral life; why others determine that mortal sin is the one that changes the center of human activity.
These sins are called mortal because the falling away of the human soul from God is the death of the soul. Without a gracious connection with its Creator, the soul dies, becomes incapable of experiencing spiritual joy either in the earthly life of a person or in its posthumous existence.
And it is not so important how many categories these sins are divided into - into seven or into. It is much more important to remember the terrible danger that any such sin is fraught with, and to try in every possible way to avoid these deadly traps. And also - to know that even for those who have sinned with such a sin, the possibility of salvation remains. Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) says: “He who has fallen into mortal sin, let him not fall into despair! May he resort to the medicine of repentance, to which he is called until the last minute of his life by the Savior, who proclaimed in the Holy Gospel: whoever believes in me, even if he dies, he will live(In 11 :25). But it is disastrous to remain in mortal sin, it is disastrous when the mortal sin turns into a habit!
And the Monk Isaac the Syrian said even more definitely: "There is no unforgivable sin, except the unrepentant sin."
Seven deadly sins
1. Pride
“The beginning of pride is usually contempt. He who despises and considers others as nothing - considers some poor, others lowly, others ignorant, due to such contempt, comes to the point that he considers himself alone wise, prudent, rich, noble and strong.
... How is a proud person recognized and how is he healed? Recognized because it seeks preference. And he is healed if he believes the judgment of Him who said: God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble(Jac 4 :6). However, you need to know that, although he is afraid of the judgment pronounced for pride, he cannot be healed of this passion if he does not leave all thoughts of his preference.
St. Basil the Great
Marina, it's good that you didn't do anything irreparable! First and foremost, seek help from God. There are such terrible conditions as you have, such black pits as you write. And there is only one way out of them - tireless prayer to God! "Lord, I myself am not able to change anything now, but You can. Help me, give me strength!" The second is to look for the real reasons for what is happening: what prompted the husband to make such changes? Problems with work, company, something else?.. Can something be done? ( , ) Debts - related to what? Is it possible to draw up some kind of clear financial plan for yourself? Or have emergencies overwhelmed your ability? Where can you look for help?.. Pray, sit quietly on a fresh mind and make a plan for yourself - what you need to change in your life first of all and what are there to this path. You will definitely cope with God's help - for yourself and for the sake of your children!
You don't have to blame everything on God. He is one and we are many. God is in everyone's head. And do not look for intermediaries. The first rule (from personal experience) Do not swear at home, do not pronounce the word horror, etc. Do not envy, but strive. Always say that you are doing well looking into the eyes of the interlocutor. A month later, everything is on the right track. Smile and life will get better.
Michael, what is the awareness of one's sin is a good sprout. But awareness and repentance are not the same thing. But repentance without confession cannot allow you to reunite with Christ, for this union occurs after receiving the Body and Blood of Christ during Holy Communion. There is only one way and it is narrow: awareness of the sinfulness of the act, repentance, confession and, to the greatest joy, Holy Communion. Do not flatter yourself: do not think that your sin is exceptional, the sins of people are the same, they have long been committed, and now they are being repeated. Do not forget that the Apostle Peter denied the Lord three times, but repented, was forgiven, and became the supreme leader in the work of preaching. The Apostle Paul was the most severe persecutor of Christians, but he was called by Christ and thus became the supreme apostle. There is no sin that the Heavenly Father would not forgive his children, and children are all people. But we must hurry, because we do not know the hour of the end of our earthly journey.
there is a sin in which they will terribly repent even on their deathbed. It will be cool for me even in hell for him, there is no question of depriving myself of life, but murderers compared to me, lambs, they killed the body
Any instructor, guru, master (and this is me, for example, not divine) takes into account what he has completely mastered, what the pro (I’m sure of) and what he lives in and it is not purposefully setting an example for others. Further, there cannot be some God's clerks in the world, like I live as I know and I tell you how to.
What should I do in such a situation? There was love, got married, got married, children were born, everything was wonderful. And the house was and the aura was good and the families were friends. Until a lonely girl came to our circle. And then something happened in every family. One family broke up, in the second one of the spouses hanged himself, in the third family they imprisoned a person with all the lies, and in our family, native porridge began. First, the husband began to drink, then to offend, it came to a divorce, I had a different person. And then the worst began, eternal debts, eternal tears, one after another, loved ones began to die. Against this backdrop, I almost killed myself. In general, I fell into some kind of black hole, if this is damage, then how to get rid of it? The situation is getting worse and worse. He cornered me and my whole family. It becomes scary.
God helped me get out of a terrible incurable disease. Been to the edge a few times. I thought nothing would help. Went to church. The father said: "Pray." Believe people in God. Faith saves!