How to resume relationships with a former guy. Is it worth entering one river twice? New relationship with a former young man

You lived calmly and fun while one almost no noteworthy day from your past. A former young man or even her husband decided to suddenly know about herself, the mimolete about the affairs asked and now easily calls coffee to start in some cozy corner.

One could simply grin and forget, but once - and the thought crazy already the tunnel in the head breaks: Or maybe I realized that I lost it, and decided to fix everything? "Two times in some gate to score a goal is quite possible, so why would the chance formed by a comrade again not give?" - You thought sinful things. But there is still a mass of aggravating reasons for such an idea of \u200b\u200bthe restoration of the forgotten relations. For example, common kids-candy and fat zero candidates on the horizon after hundreds of very unsuccessful dates. So why not?

Cause of parting

History knew a lot of successful unions, who either have such a tradition to "converge - part", and it rests in terrible temperamental characters, or diverged on some stupid reason on emotions, without having weighing everything and without losing. And the wise life followed later with not "your" people, you were horrified from your blasphemous anticipation in the past and decided to catch up. Then the likelihood is that Happy and you will still have, because you checked our doubts and made sure that they were mistaken. But the main thing, realized the value of the relationship through a ridiculous loss.

It is quite another thing - scatter on the parties for a serious reason. Saw, Rayanil, looked, was insulted, did not appreciate, constantly changed, pressed emotionally and did not respect - this is only the pinnacle of that iceberg of weighty family problems, according to which the back is nonsense. Most likely, not from the best side, your former showed itself for quite a long time, so that you have already been perfect this bowl. Some diverges extremely difficult to accompaniment insults, bacon, even with the release of valuable or just personal belongings in the window - neighbors to joy.

Reason for return

If it was like this, then your former is frankly problematic. So, the crowds of those who wanted the eagle on a miracle, such an aggressive, narcissist and not so far and did not throw. It is unpleasant to realize that some women turned out to be smarter and recognized the flawed potential of relations with such a gift. It is a man with open arms, and no one swims in them. Shock, blow and pain! And naturally, the subsequent instantaneous choice, how to live on, is not done in favor of their own changes for the better, but in favor of returning there, where it all endured.

Accustomed to the paths is simpler, chooses a man that of them that leads to your doors input. There will be a poor fellow, as nauseous without you, about the awareness and wisdom acquired a couple more times will tell in the hope that the common past on your weights is more important than the truth.

Do not take back to the house of those who did not respect and did not appreciate. Such men as soon as the fifth point priges, again with confidence in their status acquire the former impartial qualities. And you will join the same rails again, you will pass the way, perhaps even the worst than before. Then you will have to dope from the asphalt and re-fastened the fresh wounds.

Honored last chance

But there are other sites when the man was good and milked in all respects, but I got it stumbled, without understanding why everything will lead to everything. And you ended up from a party of unpricing such mistakes, did not find the strength of the pain from betrayal to learn, they took yes a broom of the house was kicked out, closing the ears in response to apologies and men's mens. But the comrade, as life showed, does not get up and does not disappear from the horizon, and the day that ill-fated curses and the asphalt of your home rubbs the soles. In a word, it does not give up, but it acts, proves the case that such a mistake in life will never happen again! That is, he is not compote in the ears in the ears, and manages to help you, even at a distance, does not throw and do not forget children, it offers help and sincerely trying to solve your problems. And at the same time he does not disappear from radar, if you, a capricious one, we decided to take off enough long enough.

The one who proves the case, and not taking the sake of your pity, really deserves the second chance and your attempt to forget the resentment from the past, rebel the page and start beautiful and re-! Be sure to forgive and return that with whom your life becomes radically more comfortable and happier, with whom and before it was actually simple and easy.

Nowadays, the relationship is destroyed at least, and sometimes even more often than new things are tied.And all because in most cases people first act, and then think.

It happens that after breaking the relationship with a man You're already very soon begin to understand that you can not actually live without it.Comes an understanding of how important it was for you.

And then natural questions appear:« How to return the relationship ? How to fix, perfect error? " .

Familiar situation?

If you are interested in the theme of this material, then it is close to you.

We will not try to figure out why it happened. After all, you came not for this, but for specific advice from the current situation.Therefore, we turn right away.

Here is a step-by-step instruction, how to return the former Sweetheart and again fall in love with you.

How to return the formerif you still love

First of all, you need to decideis it really an attempt to return the relationship will be a good idea . You may just fit each other And the termination of relationships was a logical conclusion.This is the first option.

And the second, more common situation : parting due to reluctance or inability to listen and make compromises.

Excessive emotionality in communicating could lead to another quarrel, in the heat of which suused words were told, which caused the gap.

And even when the emotions were silent and the opportunity to think over the causes of the conflict that had arisen, the fear of making the first step leads to the sad finale.

He thinks he is not needed and leaves. And she does not stop him. Pride does not allow her to do it and ask for forgiveness.so what? What situation is more close to you?

If the first, then there is no point in returning relationships.

But if the second and you are sure that the feelings are not going anywhere, but just became hostages of pride and fear, then tryto establish relationsOf course, it is worth.

So why do you start?After parting, the established link is usually lost and the former beloved ceases to see.

If you think abouthow to return the former And, most importantly, how to establish relations With him, you will have to find it and establish contact again. At the same time, most likely, there will be certain awkward feelings, but you need to find courage and speak with him again. And not somehow, but truly sincerely, so that he felt your desirestart all with a clean leaf.

1. Call it

Many people soit is difficult to meet face to face with former partners. But you do not need to see him personally to start a dialog that will allowto establish relationsbetween you.

Nowadays this problem can be solved very easily -just call him (Write an SMS, send a letter to email).

To begin with, we think good things about what you want to talk to him, and only after that type his phone number (or start writing a letter).Carefully pick up words. Speak in a warm and friendly manner.

About what? Learn how he is doing, as he feels. Thank you for the pleasant moments that you have in relationships. And you are pleased to remember.

Similar questions, of course, will not help you with this minutereturn relationsBut they will allow the conversation during the time required to determine his reaction to your call:does he have irritation, insult or anger in his voice.

If the conversation is both quite comfortable for you, it means you can move to the next stage - hint that you wantto establish relations (at least friendly for starters) andagree on the meeting.

2. Ask for forgiveness

If you really wantreturn the former, you have to learn to speak "Forgive me" .

If you do not knowhow to establish relationswho were torn due to the fact that you made a mistake, recognize this fact anddonate your apologies to the ears of the beloved . You must take care that he learned how much you regret the perfect.

And even if it is not you, and your partner was the culprit of the gap, ask for forgiveness for not stopped him then.

3. Conversation with his friends

A very good idea can be a conversation with his friends. It may well happen that they will become your allies and helpreturn relationswho were so recklessly lost. In addition, they can learn about how his life has developed after your parting.

They can know if he still loves you still, wishesreturn relations With you and how good is your idea about conversation with him.

Given the fact that they are his friends, and not yours, not all of them will agree to help you.But if you sincerely tell about your feelings and regrets, you must have someone who will help.

4. He must find out what you have changed

Have you thought about your behavior in the past, which led to the present situation?Attached maximum effort to change yourself for the better?

If you want to return the former, let him find out that you turned the page of your life . Promise (first of all, yourself) that you will no longer repeat the errors that committed. You now know what you want from relationships and ready.

5. impress it again

Not so easyperform an unforgettable impression On a man when meeting.But it is even more difficult to do it. We'll have to try.

You can go slightly landed and start giving him creative gifts, arranging surprises and provide other signs of attention.

In case all these things do not work on it, come up with another approach. For example, let's start doing something new than before it did not work.

If you are:

- did not love or did not know how to cook, put the effort and foams with his delicious dinner, who personally prepared;

- Particularly not interested in his work at work, start wondering.

Do everything to not onlyreturn relationswho were before, and surprise him and a second time.Forget that you thoroughly know each other. Behave like first dates . You must appear the same riddle that so intrigued him in"That" time.

Everything should occur naturally.Do you think it is impossible? At one wonderful girl, everything turned out very well:

6. Memories

Each of you have pleasant memories of the joint past.Remind him of some of them.

Show him common old photos or offer to meet in one of those places where your first dates happen.

Memories have the ability to light emotions that have long been faded And remind of the importance of some things. And this is exactly what you need in order toto establish relations After a quarrel.

Memories can helpreturn the former And let him understand that the connection that occurred once in the past between you is much more important than those neophillates, because of which there was a break.

7. Do not waste

You must understand thatyou can not lose any opportunity to express my feelings. If in the past it seemed to you that you still have a lot of time and you have time to tell him about your feelings someday then, now you know that it is not.

After all, at any time an event can happen that will tell you again, andreturn relations For the third time it will be almost impossible.

Therefore, do not forget as often as possible to remind him that your love for it over time is becoming stronger.

8. Reason

Your former can ask about the reason for your desire to return to it.Remember him about what a wonderful pair you were before parting and how much loved each other. Is this the most important reason toreturn relations?

The separation was only one thing, and pleasant moments before that there were many.Tell him how you wanted

Relationship with a former girl

Return a girl

Relationship with a former girl

With the exception of several "lucky ones", which can be found from the first time to find a girl and get into the trap of her charm, each man has ladies of days have already passed away. And we, of course, talk about former girls, the relationship with which ended because of any serious or trifling problems. And although the relationship with them has already passed, many men still want to beat a little and play with their past. And we do not judge such men's desires.

In this article, we will look at the issues of relationships with former girls when you just need to defeat the desire to take revenge on this girl, as well as consider the situation when you still want to return the relationship with her. Unlike other sources, we will not put taboos on such topics.

How the former girl is forgotten

Unfortunately or fortunately, but human memory is arranged so that after some time a period of time, we all start to forget the bad, and only warm and positive memories remain in memory. This is amazing, but even the prisoners from the toughest places later remain only warm nostalgic memories of places not so remote.

Naturally, if people manage to change their attitude towards such horror, then change their attitude to a former girl will also not be much labor. The question is only in two key things: time and replacement.

Time.Any parting of the pair requires a certain time to restore the spiritual and physical forces of each of the participants. As a rule, at the first time, men feel happier and strong, but they later catch up with experiences, and this depression comes in about 3-4 weeks. The girls are all the opposite, they can experience the first 2-3 weeks, and then it becomes easier and free to them every day.

For healing of his heart, a man needs about 2-3 months, and warm memories of a former girl appear no earlier than six months.

Replacement.Loss of a girl is a big hole in the heart of any man, and she will whine until the man finds something that can be fill in it. As a rule, such fillers become either another girl or some kind of work or hobby. And only when this replacement appears in a man, he begins to relate to the loss of the former girl more easily and freely.

How to behave with a former girl

Once all the experiences associated with the former girl go, you will again get the opportunity to rejoice at each day. And then you can already choose a policy to your ex. There may be many such options, but almost all guys choose one of three:

Ignoring. When one life ends, the other starts. And if so, then there is no more place in the heart for the past. So it thinks most of the guys who parted with a girl because of its disadvantage: treason, alcohol, betrayal, lack of feelings and so on. The guys simply cease to notice this girl, and all communication comes down to the absence of this communication. In the future, there is another girl, and the guy rejoices his life again.

Friendly fleeting communication.This is a communication when the guy and the girl sometimes see each other (for example, at work or street) and just with each other a little chatting on free themes without any aggression. This behavior is possible a few years after "ignoring", or when the causes of separation were mutual.

Using a girl.If the parting was to a greater degree of the guy's initiative, or after parting, the girl passed through a number of unsuccessful relationships, then she may have a desire to someone restore his connection with you. Therefore, she herself can come to contact and bring some romantic base, and the guy can easily achieve sex of sex. Moreover, sex does not imply relationships, it is supplied under the base "Recall the past", i.e. Without any obligations on your part. It's comfortable!

Wear: You are my friend!There is also such behavior with a girl when the girl sits on top of his former and squeezes the benefit of him, without any return on his part. These are all the girls are called friendship, and the instructions call a little request. If you encounter such a situation, then switch your behavior to ignore, or fleeting communication. You will not have sex and will not be so, but you will not spend the forces on the girl's unnecessary for you.

How to return the relationship with the former lady

It is worth considering that the former girl is a girl who met with you, at least half a year ago. Those. If you want to return the relationship with a girl who recently broke up with you, our other article will fit.

The resumption of relationships has a strict procedure to accomplish:

Solution to the problem.If you broke up with this girl because of some kind of problem, it would be stupid to try to restore the relationship, leaving this problem in a suspended state. There is a huge chance that she will again prevent you with two. Therefore, we first solve the problem, which caused the breaking in the past. If the problem lies in the treason of the girl, the problem will not be solved, it means that you do not need to return relationships!

Renewing communication.Next you will need to gradually begin your communication with a former girl. Now it is easiest to do this through social networks, or through small evening walks (trips). At this stage, you are just interested in her life and recognize her fate after parting with you. If the girl began his communication with you, then this is an indicator that everything is not going so smooth and good, as she would like. A happy girl would send you long ago and that's it.

Gradual offensive.At the next stage, you start inviting a girl in more "status places", for example, sushi bars, cafes or bars, where you are interested in its plans and tell about your progress. Those. You gradually introduce the idea of \u200b\u200bit that you are a successful, steady and strong man.

Proximity and resumption of relationships.If the girl swallowed your bait, then you will begin to see how in her eyes there will be a cunning plan to drag you into bed and make your own again. Therefore, you just need to play the role of a restrained gentleman, and then "surrender" into the hands of such a cunning girl.

Renewal relationships.And at the final stage you have to prove yourself a strong man, whose behavior did not change from such a "unexpected way" from the girl. You should not rush to her and cry from joy that she returned. You need to keep yourself steadily, allowing the girl to be weak. All simple!

Should I meet with a former girl?

We really saw cases when relationships with former girls led to happy families and happy men. Therefore, at least these relationships and have an extremely low chance of success, you can try it all.

The reasons for breaking the relationship can be a lot, but the options of the very rupture of only two are: in good or bad. This is the main vector that determines how to build relationships with former further.

Consider the main options for relations with ex-beloved:

• friendship. "Supreme pilot" communication "after". According to psychologists, the ability to maintain good relations with former partners is a sign of the psychological maturity of the person. But here there are their pitfalls: often the basis for friendly relations is the hope for restoring closer communication. This should be remembered and not to feed such hopes if your plans are attempted №2. In this case, it is recommended to either correct your behavior in an absolutely neutral side, or to reduce meetings to a minimum. Do not choose such a way to communicate if only you are interested in restoring relationships: imposing is not the best method to return feelings. In addition, if you are already in new relationships and intend to save them, consider the opinion of the partner about this. Not all men approve even the most innocent relationship with a former guy or husband.
• Friendly relations. The perfect option for communication between former, which do not have any complaints about each other and do not feed any illusions. In this case, periodic communication, interest (within the framework of decent) to life or appeal for help to the former does not carry a threat to new relations or is not an obstacle to them. Although it may not be smooth here, and under the mask of a friend can be hidden still hoping to restore its ex-beloved status.
• Communication "Forcedness". Most often, such a way of developing events occurs in the presence of a link between former even after parting. It may be a common business, children, a circle of communication or work. That is, to communicate forcing circumstances. Of course, if the prospect of often seeing his "ex" for your nervous system is unacceptable, you can change the work, divide the business or revise the circle of communication. The exceptions here are children - your relationship with a former husband should not be injured. But it is not possible to limit their communication with the Father, with the exception of cases, if he is deprived of parental rights or children do not want to see him. If you do not work, find a compromise in the form of "dad days" and try not to talk about it badly.
• Sex without commitment. This option can be selected if it is impossible to live together, and sometimes you can sleep. At the same time, on the one hand, a good sex with a proven partner without any obligation, on the other, the binding, even just sexual, the process of building new relationships significantly complicates. In addition, free relationships can be perceived by only one of the partners, the other can use this situation for Cambake.
• No communication in general. This method of relationships after the break is chosen when there are no roads back. The easiest way to "burn bridges", when circumstances make it possible to exclude any contact with the former: moving to another city or another area, the change of work, the number of mobile and the locations of the possible intersection (general living space, a company, recreation and entertainment sites, etc.). Significantly simplifies the process of complete "update" is also the lack of common children and gods. It is important to remember that the isolation games are inappropriate. If you are resolutely configured to "reset" your personal status and start life from a clean sheet, immediately notify your ex. No need to give hope if she has no chance of incarnation.
• War. The worst option from all available. Unfortunately, partners who cannot forgive the offense are most often resorted to this method of communication, which cannot be forgiven and do not want to voluntarily leave the life of a loving person. Moreover, to "poison" former (or former) life, they can both open "combat" actions and the method of the Cold War. This option is dangerous in that love for children, intimate moments of living together, material addiction and even a simple sense of pity can be selected as a weapon. All this not only morally invites both participants of the "battle", but also reduces the possibility of reconciliation to zero.

And one more authoritative opinion of psychologists: the main thing is that it will help to make the right choice of the option of relations between former - time. Immediately after the break, take the "timeout" in communication: this will help to decide on the correctness of the decision taken and understand which tactics of relationships in the future choose. It will also save from emotional reactions, the consequences of which are often increquent.

How to restore communication with the former

Despite the fact that the statistics of the success of restoring relations between the former spouses is not so comforting (according to the research of American psychologists only about 10% of repeated marriages turn out to be successful), you should not reject the attempt to return former happiness. At least, if there are no prerequisites for the absolute unsuccessfulness of such an event.

As such prerequisites, unacceptable habits or character traits that have not changed and will not change (like him, and you have), the lack of feelings for the former (or he is to you), etc. Also, you should not feed the illusions about the new happiness with the guilty ex-beloved, if you can't forgive and not remember his misdeed.

We now turn to what you need to do to "glue the bowl" of relations re-:

1. Spend a thorough self-analysis, the purpose of which will be your true attitude to the former. Look inside yourself: Do you really want reunion, is there a chance to prevent re-rupture. It is important to understand that it is impossible to radically change the adult man. You can influence some moments and correct the behavior model, but it will not work out of it. And if the reason for the gap was some kind of act or the habit of a man - think if you are ready to face the same problem again.
2. Keep emotions under control. Do not let longing for the former go out in the presence of others, even if it is very bad. Smile, laugh, share optimism - everyone should know that you have everything perfectly. Especially he. Therefore, leave the tears for the pillow and the most verified girlfriend. But it is not worth overdoing: hysterical laughter with sadness in the eyes looks at least not aesthetically.
3. Return to the past. Rather, in those times, when your relationship was only gaining momentum. Remember what you were then, that most attracted it in you. Return that carefree (cheerful, good, mischievous, playful, etc.) a girl who once spoke his head. Walk, chat, do your favorite things - be happy! Let him want to be close and divided with you with you. After all, often the routine of relationships erases this beautiful image with us, and with him they are erased and feelings.
4. Be careful and friendly. If, after the break, you managed to save good relationships, try unobtrusively to develop them. You can periodically meet (with or without friends), go to the movies or café, discuss interesting topics and events, help each other. Very effectively refreshing the feelings of pleasant memories of your past relationships: familiarity, first kiss, comical moments or interesting adventures. Integet to his life, let's advice (if he needs it). If you were the reason for the break, do everything to correct and so that he saw these corrections. But the main thing - do not be intrusive until he himself will be ready for more.

Important! Before establishing communication with the former, analyze its actions and attitude towards you. If he is going to contact, sincerely interested in you and everything that happens in your life, does not refuse assistance and does not avoid communication - there are all the chances of success. Otherwise, it is better to send all strength to new, more promising relationships.

Basic bans in relations with former

If you still decided to change the wrath of mercy or vice versa, you are not going to give up your happiness other and want to restore relationships, remember the behavioral models that may interfere with the implementation of your plans:

• . Ignore His presence, Break and hurt - steps, which only give you away from reunification with ex-beloved. Moreover, the clarification of relations, including people, by telephone and in a non-sober form. Special attention will require the control of his feeling of jealousy. Especially if the former new relationships began (or these new relations caused a gap). In this case, no discussion of the rival and zealous attacks in his direction. You are courtesy and attractiveness itself. If he is still alone, do not fall into another extreme and, sorry, constantly remind him of it.
• Unhappy Juliet. Another way to which women are resorted to return the relationship with the former - pity. Rather behavior that is aimed at calling a pity for a man. The constant notice of his former about how hard you are, lonely and problematic, can translate you into the status of the burden. Although the goal was made simply to show how much you needed. Especially one cannot blame him in his trouble.
• Irrepressive activist. Excessive activity is also unacceptable - limit your interest in his life with dimensions. No need to offer his service in any form (cooking, cleaning, washing, treatment, etc.), arguing such services by the fact that it is alone, but it's not difficult for you. The same applies to frequent calls by phone - the control is already inappropriate. All the more, you should not try to bind it to your financial "casami", work or business, you or get an aggression in response, or you will pull everything on yourself.
• "Kind fairy. Do not hide your anger or offense from him, he should know that at this stage you are experiencing not the most positive feelings. "Excoring" these emotions - with a psychologist, friends, close. You can not say about it in the face - write a letter. You can not send him - just burn. The main thing is to release these feelings outside, live them. Therefore, a big mistake is to wear a mask friendly and caring, if inside inside inside.

How to communicate with former - Watch on video:

We live in a world where every day we are trying to prove - friendship with ex-partners is not just normal, but well, civilized, progressively. But psychologists consider otherwise. And they have reason.

As a rule, parting with former sweethearts, we show yourself to stay in good relationships, keep in touch, not get lost, come to the rescue. And in general, with a break of relationships, unless, of course, this is not a scandal accompanied by beating dishes and ends with a balcony, we honestly going to stay friends and ... stop communicating at all. It turns out, to interrupt the relationship, get lost, even with the warmest feelings to each other, this is normal. We have already said everything, they all found out and literally in a few moments became someone else's friend.

Not so long ago, scientists of the New Zealand Clinical Center also stated that friendship with former beloved only people with mental problems are supported. 850 volunteers took part in the study of scientists. Specialists asked them a number of detailed questions about their previous relationships. In particular, respondents had to talk about the causes of parting and contacts with a former partner after the gap. Thoroughly studying the behavior of each of the respondents, the specialists found out - warm, friendly relations with ex-partners support only people suffering from different kinds of mental disabilities.

A woman wants to be friends with the former, because still hopes. Man ─ because it hopes for sex.

Curious fact: hidden motifs for which people want to stay friends with former, men and women differ dramatically. If a woman who wants to "be friends", as a rule, is not able to realize that the novel is over and it's time to move on, then a man looks at the situation without illusions, and friends want to stay solely for the sake of satisfying their sexual needs. So it is not worth an encouraging - such friendship in combination with sexual contact can be delayed for years, and no qualitative changes will never follow.

Two are always guilty in the decay of relations, this truth is old as the world, so there is nothing surprising that after the tragic (or not very) finals, there is no desire to maintain a relationship, even if you immediately rush into the next novel.

Experts claim that with the greatest caution we need to be needed just to those who insist on the preservation of a friendly connection. Moreover - sexy.

Another option: your former psychopath. Yes, yes, it also happens, some deviations can not be noticed, and if doubts still arise from you in your head, you immediately drop them away, having speakened the strange behavior of your partner for excessive emotionality. And between those, psychopaths, too, the owners, however, unlike the daffodils, their sense of ownership is quite rolling with painful affection for the second half, unreasonable jealousy, fasteners of aggression or attacks of despondency, so, most likely, agreeing to friendship with a psychopath, you are converting yourself On endless hysterics, which over time will only be more expensive. In addition, often former partners are looking for the opportunity to get at least some benefit from us, in other words, if it did not work out with love, you need to "shame" everything else, including, by the way, and sex.

With women slightly different. So the psyche of many of us is so arranged that sometimes men are quite difficult to distinguish - just a lady is the owner of a loyal and capricious character, or she really has a malfunction with his head. Often, our need for friendship with former is a consequence of deep emotional attachment. We, especially if our feelings, in contrast to the senses of the partner, have not yet fugged, gladly ready to accept new rules "Now we are friends" on one single reason: it seems to us if the ex-boyfriend remains in the field of our vision, early Or late it will come back. This is not the case, especially if the "person opposite" gentle feelings does not feed you for a long time, over time, a friendly connection will simply begin to annoy him, the relationship will still stop completely, and you will have to be treated for a long time from depression. The easiest way to forget the one who you still love is to run, if possible, quickly and far.

And yet, even given the studies of scientists, it should not be thought that your man, getting into the rank of former, immediately becomes deadly, by no means, your ex is not becoming a maniac, but it would be quite good to keep your ear in acre In the end, who do you want to be used, offended, abandoned? And warm relationships - why not? In the end, we live in a civilized world, culturally part more in fashion, especially if you are not just associated with romantic relationships, and years of marriage or even children.