What to talk to a man to be interested in. Why is it so difficult to talk with my husband? Do not try to talk with my wife
Do you still think that true love do not need words? Just the opposite. Trust conversations make your relationship deeper, and you are happier.
Specialists are confident: learn to talk to each other as important as enjoying sex. Even the most fabulous nights end, and if, leaving the bed, you are not talking about each other couple of phrases, then forecasts for long family happiness are very dubious. It is often precisely the ability to communicate is the decisive factor that shows whether the family union can be a long, prosperous and complete confidence.
Female talk!
Partners, sincerely enthusiastically entrusted to each other, there are always themes for the conversation. And not only about personal problems. Loving people discuss a variety of "matter": from the fall of the dollar's course to the new man's best friend. They build common plans for the next weekends and are divided by the events of the past day. They talk about the latest news in the country, sports, movies and books. Laugh, argue, chat and even gossip. They are never bored in each other's company. Most often, such an intensive dialogue develops in partners in a completely natural way. People do not learn some special rules of communication, but simply sincerely interested in the thoughts and feelings of each other. But what to do if conversations have become increasingly tightening you into endless and fruitless disputes? You need to try to change the style of communication.
— First of all, learn to listen!About how it is important to be able to listen not to interrupting your interlocutor, everyone knows. But everyone also forget about it. But the ability to listen is already 90% of successful communication. So doubt your desire to interfere with the speech of the partner.
— Do not interrupt and do not correct. First, listen to his point of view and only then set out your own. If at first it will be difficult to cope with the bad habit, try to bite the language. Yes, in the literal sense. So you will receive the most clear and painful signal from yourself to be silent while the partner says.
— Try not to turn the dialogue in the monologue.Your infinite knowledge in accounting (cooking, pedagogy, medicine and other things) is commendable, but let me speak out and spouse. A free conversation is a process in which both partners participate, and it implies an equal exchange of views. And the long and tedious lectures from the first person are able to tire any listener and turn a conversation for him into servility.
— Do not drag all the problems into the house.Every person has its own threshold for which he simply ceases to actively perceive the information. This means that to conjure your emotional experiences on the partner on the partner at work, friendly intrigues, shopping and transport shocks is far from always. Many things are better discussing with mom or girlfriend. Or learn how to cope with emotions yourself.
— Feel free to express your love. In approval, support and compliments, the strong floor needs no less than us with you. Well, you should prone to once again: "How I'm happy with you!" Or "today you look great!". You are not difficult for you, and the self-esteem in a man immediately rises. Encourage your spouse for the behavior that you like. Thus, you will strengthen the positive aspects of your relationship.
Silent Sphinx?
And women and men from time to time are needed to stay alone with them. In men, a desire to stay alone or at least to deal with much more often. After all, they, as you know, do not like to ask for help. If your husband gets lost in an unfamiliar area, then, most likely, prefer to scholat the district to the last drop of gasoline than to apply for instructions. And even more so he will not be looking for help in a stressful situation, when you need to think about some problem or find the answer to a tormenting question. Figure in proud loneliness for it is preferable. A man is silent, and his brain at this moment is engaged in developing an important decision. Sometimes the thought process takes literally a couple of minutes, and sometimes stretches for hours and even days. Unfortunately, most women do not understand this male propensity and immediately begin to sort out all their words and deeds in mind: "Suddenly I did something wrong?" Such moments can be the most intense in your relationship.
- Do not deal with your senses. The silence of the partner does not mean that he suddenly dislike you or he does not have anything to do you. It means only that for some time you should not invade his personal space and require attention.
- Do not interfere with a man to be alone with you. When you notice that your husband's face acquired the expression of hidden flour, do not distract it and do not interrupt the thought process. Do not pray to him with the notorious: "Why are you silent?" Let him be enough time to reflect on one or another question. When a man is ready, he will turn to you for help. Most likely, after his "return" you will become even closer to each other.
"Even if the reason for his silent boycott is known to you, do not hurry to offer my help to the partner." Men do not like women when women begin to give them advice they did not ask.
- Sometimes men's countlessness may have another quite natural reason. The husband came from work, tired, and the comforts and a delicious dinner await him at home. He wants to relax, to stay himself and silently see a good film. He is definitely good with you - so why the word? Curlee your eloquence, and you will make one more step towards understanding. This is the very case when you get silent together more pleasant.
Together more interesting
Yes, the great carnegie was right when he said that he could be perfectly to blame with another person, if you start talking to him about his needs. This rule is triggered in family relationships. Partners are difficult to conduct a free conversation if they have few common interests or those for conversations. Of course, during the period of acute love, he forgets about basketball and computers and even pretends that he is interested in all these violets on your window. However, very soon everything will return to the circles of their own and talk about matches, cars and gigabytes immediately get out. What to do?
- Try to make personal hobbies part of your relationship. If the husband is sincerely fascinated by something, the conversations about this can not be avoided. So why not expand the horizons of your knowledge due to the interests of your companion? Let him feel: you really wonder what he is talking about.
- Become a competent interlocutor. Men and women perceive the world in different ways and even the same thoughts express them very much. But it does not prevent mutual understanding if you really know the subject of which you speak.
P. S. In general, do not play with my husband in silence. Talk in the morning, day and evening. By phone, at the dinner table, in a cafe, on the beach, in the store and in bed. Do not wait when the raw speech stream will suddenly turn into a gravel stream.
Women love to talk, men bolt annoying
Conversations are needed by women like air. American psychologists found this quite a scientific explanation. It turns out that in women the brain area controlling speech has a 20% size than in men. Speech abilities at the beautiful half of humanity began to develop ahead of the primitive society. While men silently hunted mammoths, women spent all day in collective care for children and life. And all this is in active communication with other women of the tribe. So the female eloquence was hosted by many millennia. But, unfortunately, many men are not able to listen to the long monologues of their spouses. If you do not want to choose a blank bolt, we will overtake your husband's ears. Sometimes it is useful and silent! 60% of all family conversations begin at the initiative of women.
Women are divided by feelings, men solve problems
If a man, being in a stressful situation, often prefers to dive into silence, then a woman, on the contrary, is needed to talk about his trouble. Overflowed by emotions, the woman finds a discharge in to speak and get sympathy. But men, as a rule, do not understand this. They immediately begin to prompt various solutions. "I'm so tired at this work," you complain. - Permanent checks, reports, commissions. "Dear," the husband reacts right immediately, "I'm talking to you for a long time: dismiss!" Of course you are not going to dismiss. You have a great job near the house and an excellent salary, but today was a hard day. Well, tell him about it - you do not need His advice, but just want to "spoil on a strong shoulder."
Women love details, men set out the essence
Man - man action. Speak more than necessary to transfer basic information, it seems a waste of time. Men usually prefer a one-centered story, their suggestions and phrases are clearly separated from each other start, middle and end. From their speech it is easy to understand what they are talking about and what they want. Women, on the contrary, with pleasure, lead a lot of details, associations and clarifications, distracted often from the essence of the conversation. This circumstance is able to bring men of themselves. Tip Simple: Try to learn first to express the essence of the case, and hold the details for later. And still women in their conversations sometimes share each other with such information that men consider very personal. Indeed, why inform the best friend about the comprehension of your husband diarrhea? Respect the right partner for personal secrets!
Do not know what to talk about a man? The top 10 topics for conversation with comments will help you to turn into an interesting interlocutor, with which you want to meet more often and communicate.
20,000 words for 24 hours - approximately so much according to statistics, produce on-mountain of a fair sex. But for some reason, the strong half of humanity alone considers empty chatters, others - malicious gossip, and third - wonderful interlocutors. The secret of the latter is that they know what to talk to a man. Of course, the topic of the conversation largely depends on the situation, the degree of proximity and other nuances. Although there are also universal options that operate with which you can cute cute and with a colleague, and with your loved one, and with a random visa. A specific choice is the case of intuition.
So what to talk about a man? Here are the top 10 topics for conversation:
1. Weling the interlocutor who listens carefully
The highest pilot of the coquette is the invisible imposition of the conversation initiative on the strong floor. Many men love to pour nightsers about their "exploits." True, it is periodically necessary to insert short comments from the series: "Ah, as interesting," "I would never have thought."
2. Hobbies and interests
Naturally, we are not talking about knitting or embroidery. Experienced seductors are greatly disassembled in football, hunting and fishing, car of all brands. Consider, "free swimming" in the topic is quickly calculated. In order not to get into the aunt, you can always say: "I do not understand anything in this, but I really want to find out." Well, then listen carefully.
3. Art
The better the woman is understanding in painting, music, literature, the easier it is to communicate with others. Representatives of the intelligentsia are usually looking for friends sophisticated and sophisticated, with a high level of intelligence. Smart moms from childhood introduce daughters with styles of music and painting, forcing the classics, show the pictures of famous artists. Those who are missing such knowledge, we strongly recommend sitting on encyclopedia.
4. Politics
The topic is slippery, but loved by men. This fact once again confirms the need for constant intellectual enrichment.
5. Gadgets
Discussion of nuances of laptops, tablets, telephones can continue infinitely. The wise young ladies, finding out the degree of technical "condation" of the interlocutor, usually give out the phrase: "You know something happened to my computer." Further there are pre-prepared details. And let it literally the other day she herself superbly reinstalled Windows and cleaned the cooler. It is not necessary to admit this.
6. Food
Culinary topic is suitable if the couple met in a cafe or restaurant. Why not tie a conversation with the discussion of the menu? After you can chat on the peculiarities of the cooking of different countries, draw parallels between the consumable products and nuances of the mentality. But, if you start ragged about the pilaf or walking, walking in the park, the likely the likelihood that he will perceive a monologue like a hint of a joint dinner.
7. Cinema
Cinema and innovations of cinema - the topic is neutral and fascinating. Of course, it is advisable to "felt" the genre that interests your visa. It is unlikely that there will be a melodrama or series. Get ready to listen to the plot of the gangster militant, detective or fantastic film. You can also ask for advice: what to see at leisure.
8. The place in which there are interlocutors
This option is not bad for the first date. Why not tie a conversation, praising a man for the idea to meet in this park / restaurant. If you were in the cinema, discuss the plot or the actor game. I visited the exhibition - express the entrance regarding the exposure.
9. Mystic
Belief in the supernatural not alien to many representatives of strong sex. He first asked who are you in the zodiac? Wonderful! You can safely naphantize a lot of pleasant compliments to representatives of his sign, tell the funny situation that happened to someone from the scorpion friends.
10. Women
This topic is appropriate in conversation with friends / colleagues. Although there are quite a few situations in which the ladies first performed in the role of "vests" or consultants, and after turned into a wives.
Topics for conversation with a man who better lower
It is definitely not to complain, by all means: launched, health, misunderstanding from loved ones or friends. Whining quickly tires and frankly uninteresting.
Representatives of the strong floor also scare small household details or gossip in style: "Yesterday we and I went to Auchan. She bought a blouse guipher there. Here is a stupid. Her Vanka threw, so she now herself looking for a new man. "
On the verge of permitted - intimate theme. Experienced lovers often "prove the soil, provoking chatting" about the intimate ". Baryshni sophisticated skillfully missed, modests are lost. Exit from the situation is to support the dialogue without showing embarrassment. Eating in the process of purely medical terms and a calm reaction usually beat off the hunt to discuss details.
Instead of resume, we note that when there is a mutual sympathy between the interlocutors, the woman does not think about what to talk to a man. The topic arises by itself. Another thing is the ability to support the conversation. To do this, it is important to regularly expand the horizons, be able to listen.
Men and women talk a lot about love, make compliments to each other, discuss the collaborative future. If the topics for conversations end, the lovers begin to enjoy hot hugs and passionate kisses.
Usually arise in marriage, in a joint life. Many married women lack long, emotional dialogs with a spouse.
Women in nature are more talkative than men. Weak floor must be exchanged emotions, experiences. In the process of this girl, fun and tide of strength. The male floor does not like empty conversations, it is important for them to talk in the case. How to find a common language with my husband? Communication in a pare Rates its participants, makes the relationship tight.
When silence is gold
You should not begin serious conversations with faithful from the moment he crossed the threshold of the house after a working day. Feed a man with a delicious dinner, allow you to rest after work and come to yourself. Hungry, tired man - obviously not the best interlocutor. If you have noticed that your getter is evil today, annoyed, pensive postpone the conversation for another day.
Dubious topics for conversations
Many, and especially young and inexperienced girls, forget that there are topics for conversations, which is better to talk with girlfriends, but not with men:
Cosmetic procedures for care. The strong floor is not interested in discussing diet for weight loss, masks from black dots on the face, rejuvenating creams, methods of combating cellulite and vegetation on the body and other women's ways to maintain beauty. Of course, men nice to see a beloved woman well-groomed and beautiful. Everything that is behind this should not concern their eyes and ears.
Gossip, complaint. Empty business attempt interested in a man discussing someone else's behavior and personal life. You do not cortify it because the star of the series and the movie was married for the fifth time, gave birth to a fourth child or led a married man from the family. Complaining the bosses and colleagues at work, you are unlikely to wait for your favorite sympathy. A man will soon advise you to quit, what will hear the details of the work disagreements.
What themes talk alone
It is possible to think that next to his spouse is best silent and not strain his brain. Not true. The man is best located to communicate when it is in a good mood. There are also such topics for conversations that will be interested in any male representative.
Work. A man willingly tell a woman about his work, in whatever sphere he worked. Ask questions in the process of conversation, show your interest to your interest. Do not forget to praise your husband and admire it with work feas.
Hobbies, Hobbies. Each man has their own hobbies: fishing, hunting, sports, cars. On this topic, almost any representative of the powerful sex will talk with enthusiasm and addiction. Want to start a man - then boldly ask him questions about politics and history. If a woman does not understand anything in these matters, you can hand writing information in advance on the Internet. It will be great if you start with my husband a conversation in this way: "Cute, today I learned that your favorite football team won the match, what do you think, do they won it worthy?" Questions of this nature polish a man and will give the opportunity to express their opinion. After your favorite person is spoken, smoothly move it to general topics for conversations: family budget, children, upcoming vacation. At this point you can hint on the fact that you need a new dress or shoes.
How to talk to a man?
Try, if possible, not to show yourself smarter than the spouse. Disputes, interrupting, the tier imposition of their point of view, you can bring a dialogue to conflict. Ask blessing about help politely and affectionately, eliminate the order tone.
Let there be more spiritual conversations with her beloved, well, at night passionate hugs.
It would seem that a stupid question: what to talk about with her husband? But this is far from that. Many couples, analyzing their family relationships, come to the conclusion that they do not t of the proximity that was at the beginning of the relationship. It often turns out that they are now quite different in their interests: the husband disappears all day at work, the wife gets tired of endless home affairs. And now instead of trust conversations, lovers are thrown by duty phrases "How are you?", "How was the day passed?", Which do not require a response at all. And every day they are moving away from each other. And this does not mean that the divorce must be a logical completion. You need to learn not only to talk to each other, but also listen. But it's not worth chatting about everything in the world too. There are topics that are better not to lift. And it is the woman who needs to take the initiative to their hands and save marriage. Take into service a few useful advice and see that after a while your loved one will be a close friend again.
Confidence
Any marriage should be based on trust. Therefore, spouses must share each other joys and sorrows. After all, it is not difficult to sincerely ask her husband as it goes to hear him and give advice. It would seem that nothing complicated. But as often, instead, women lack for this patience. After all, it is easier to kill faithful, break on the half-climb and blame in all mortal sins. And it is not surprising that the next time he is easier for him to look for the interlocutor on the side. Women easier to tell about their problem, men for this need to gain courage. It is not necessary to seek recognition from him too much. You need to gain patience. It is necessary to bring it on the conversation carefully, unobtrusively pushing the topic of interest to you. If he decided to speak, you should not interrupt it. Listen to it to the end.
Do not laugh at his fears
Yes, men are also afraid of a lot of things in the world, but rarely confess to this. They can scare, it would seem completely harmless things. But most of all they are afraid to be shown in their fears. In no case say that you know about it and even more and never laugh at him.
Without conflict
The more man and woman live together, the more they recognize each other. Unfortunately, some habits of her husband can annoy his wife. But remember: always be the above small household quarrels. If something does not suit you, go hide without scandals. Spent seriously and explain what you do not like.
What should not talk about
If you cavity trust your husband, you can talk about everything in the world. But there is taboo - never tell about your former. A single man will not like it when his favorite will turn the past and the more compared it with others. If you do not forget, then it still can't let go of the former relationship.
Topics
With my husband, you can talk not only about family, domestic issues and work. Discuss with him the latest news, admire his erudition in some issues (at the same time and their self-esteem will increase it), tell us about your dreams. After all, this is not just your husband, lover and father of children, but also an interesting person and a versatile person.
One side of the barricades
You must understand that you have some goals with your husband. And no matter how much your opinions differed in any question, try to discuss everything and come to a common opinion.
Phrases about which you should forget
You're a coward
Men should not be afraid of anything. So consider most men and women. But after all, your husband is an ordinary person and he has his weaknesses. Tactfully let him understand that he has the right to be afraid of something, and there is nothing terrible.
You can't do anything
A man should be able to replace everything and perfectly understand the technique. However, it is not. Almost forty percent of representatives of the strong half of humanity hate to repair cranes and washing machines, collect cabinets and understand the subtleties of the steamer device. Let my husband be with them on "you". There is nothing terrible in this.
And Vanya had more
Here comments are superfluous. After such a phrase, the consequences may be unpredictable. Men are hardly forces.
I do not want and I will not work
Even if you think that you are more suitable for the role of a housewife, never formulate so phrase. Motivate your position by what you want children more attention, and there has always been a comfort in the house.
Many marriages collapsed due to the fact that after several years of family life, the spouses literally not talking about. But people got married - it means they were interested in two. It happens, interest in the partner disappears after a few months of living together. What happens in relationships? The psychologist Marina Roschikova tells about this.
The crisis of relations affects not all couples, a lot of examples of married unions, where the husband and wife live together for 30-40 years and more, and they are unfamiliar to such a problem, but there are a lot of such steam, where interest in each other is lost after several years, and That and months of living together. The reasons for this can be absolutely different, a psychologist believes. Consider the most typical cases.
Sergei, 27 years old: "My ex-wife Yana first seemed very attractive to me. She knew how to dress, goodly danced, and it was great in bed with her. But three months after the wedding I could not look at her, since Yana was simply Stupid! I could not discuss my affairs with her, generally talk about life - after half a minute she interrupted me and started something to crack about her girlfriends or another entertainment TV show ... I lasted half a year, then we broke up ... "
Commentary of the psychologist:
"We often attract appearance in a person, or we have sexual attraction to him, but for the rest of the parameters a person may not be at all. After some time after the start of a joint life, a marriage partner starts to annoy us, we are aware that we have him is nothing in common that we made a mistake ... the second reason can be that over time, the spouses recognize each other so well that the behavior of each of them becomes completely predictable for another.As a result, they are overcome by boredom. "
Natalia, 35 years old: "I know in advance that the husband will say in a particular situation, how he behaves ... We have already told everyone about themselves about themselves, and there is nothing new for us in each other. I suspect that he It is also uninteresting with me, like me with him. We are engaged in every way with your affairs, we eat silently, only occasionally throwing out short, not meaningful replicas ... It seems that we are not a husband and wife, but simply coexist under the same roof. I'm already I thought about getting myself a lover - at least some kind of shakement ... ".
Commentary of the psychologist:
"When people just get acquainted, they usually try to report themselves as much information as possible. If, of course, interested in relationships. But time is going, and we will not learn about the partner anything new. On the contrary, we find that we studied it so good that He is no longer interesting for us. Gradually, the relationship is not going to no ... The third reason is that the spouses are simply do not know how to communicate with each other. "
Lyuba, 33 years old: "My husband and I discuss among themselves only household questions: what you need to buy from things to the house, on which circle to write a child, etc. But once they spoke about books, and about the cinema, and about art! Honestly, such communication, as now, I am not very comfortable. But how to say about this husband, I do not know. In my opinion, he believes that we have everything well. "
Commentary of the psychologist:
"After the wedding, the relationship is moving to another level. Now young people should think about life, and if a child appears, most of the attention is paid to him ... sometimes spouses and in the head does not come to mind that you can talk to each other about something other than domestic issues . But you can find "distracted" themes interesting for both! "
1. Look for a point of contact!Ideally, you should associate not only family life, but also common interests - work, hobby, etc.
2. Never tell a partner about yourself!Leave the scope for fantasies and sometimes be unpredictable by making any recklessness.
3. Leave a place in life for romance!Even if you have a child, time from time to time to build it to your parents, and arrange evenings for candles or dates in a cozy cafe. It diversifies your family life.
4. Cut together leisure more often!Arrange hiking in the cinema or theater, catching in nature. On vacation it is better to ride somewhere to relax with the whole family, and not stay at home. The more new impressions you have, the more things you can discuss with your spouse.