What is a warm relationship. The psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman

Secrets of the psychology of a happy relationship between a man and a woman.

The problem of the relationship between a man and a woman is eternal. In almost 80% of cases, couples come to psychologists who do not findmutual understanding. In this article we will talk about building a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman from the point of view of psychology.

Development of relations between a man and a woman: psychology

Initially, we learn the rules of building a family, adopting the experience of loved ones. Usually these are our parents, who cannot always set the correct guideline and vector of relationships.

Development of relations between a man and a woman, psychology:

• With a high degree of probability, we can conclude that if the girl's father was an alcoholic, then most likely the partner will not be indifferent to alcohol. This is due to the fact that, in fact, the girl did not see other relationships, and does not know other men.
• In her understanding, almost all representatives of the stronger sex are alcoholics and not indifferent to alcohol. Even if a man is not like that, and is absolutely indifferent to alcohol, the girl still perceives him as a potential alcoholic. A man does not like this, he does not want to feel like he is not, and breaks off relations.
• Thus, like attracts like. What to do in this case? It is necessary to change your attitude towards the surrounding men, and not to build everyone in one phalanx, hanging certain clichés and labels.

Healthy relationships between a man and a woman: the psychology of the East

According to Eastern psychology, from the point of view of bioenergetics, a woman gives, and a man receives. This is the only way normal relationships are possible. Most women may not be satisfied with this interpretation, as they want to receive something in return, and are afraid to say goodbye to their energy.

Healthy relationships between a man and a woman, the psychology of the East:

• A woman at birth is full of sexual energy, which she can give to her family, husband, children. A man, on the contrary, is born empty, and needs to be filled with a woman.
• For this to happen, it is necessary that one side give, and free of charge. Most scandals and quarrels arise if a woman refuses to fill a man.
• In this case, even a good family man can seek comfort on the side. Therefore, according to Eastern esotericists, it is necessary for a woman to provide home comfort, take care of a man, saturating him with sexual energy.

What destroys relationships?

Now from TV screens, in any advertisement you can hear about how to build a happy relationship. In fact, the main task of such videos is to sell more of their own products. Therefore, the model of the family that is shown on television does not always correspond to ideals. Most often, such models are simply imposed on family people.

What destroys relationships:

• General family budget. As the experience of many families shows, a family may not have a common budget at all. The fact is that each of the family members should have their own finances in order to purchase gifts, afford to purchase some new clothes, even if not very expensive ones. It is best to build a family budget in shares and contributions . Each family member invests their money to cover certain types of necessary services and purchases. These include paying utility bills, a grocery basket in order to cook food. There are several other categories that family members should invest in that can be discussed. Part of the money remains with each participant and partner.
• From the TV screens we can see that a strong, good family- this is the one that spends all the time together. Actually it doesn't work. You can fill your time with each other only at the initial stages. Usually, when people meet, they are interesting because they are independent, very peculiar. This is what allows people to get to know each other, and every day is full of surprises. When people live together for a long period of time, novelty goes away, everyday life appears. So that it does not become monotonous, boring, it is necessary to dilute it. To do this, it is necessary that everyone has their own personal space, and time that they can spend as they wish.
• Lack of self-development. People cease to be interesting to each other if they are not interesting to themselves. A person can be interested in the opposite sex only if he constantly develops.

The psychology of a good relationship between a man and a woman

Each of the partners should have some hobbies, their own hobby that helps them develop. It could be reading books, sports, or even beadwork. There is nothing wrong with that. A person must constantly be nourished by positive energy, this cannot be done if you are constantly with your partner.

Sooner or later people become uninteresting to each other. As practice shows, this period comes faster if the partners do not give each other freedom for a long period of time.There are several basic principles for building a happy relationship.

Psychology of good relations between a man and a woman:

• Respect. It is impossible to create a good atmosphere in the family if the partners do not respect each other. Views on life can be radically different, but at the same time a person must respect the choice of his partner and not impose his opinion on him.
• Confidence. You should not constantly pursue your partner, control him, look at the phone, pages on social networks and pester at any opportunity.
• We need to take care of each other. Even if you are very tired at work, it is still necessary to find a small amount of time in order to take care of your beloved.

The path to the altar: the secret to building relationships right

Lovers should not go to visit together all the time or spend weekends watching movies. Each of the participants can spend his own free time as he wants.

The path to the altar, the secret to building relationships:

• be cheerful. Of course, sometimes it is quite difficult, especially if the events in life are not very encouraging, but still it is necessary to enjoy life and thank her for every moment spent with your loved one. Indeed, if a person thinks positively, it affects relationships with the opposite sex and partner.
• Be sure to show your feelings. Feel free to once again confess your love or make some gifts. Constantly try to touch your loved one, hug him, and spend more time talking with your partner. It is necessary to feel the relationship between lovers.
• There is another interesting point with which psychologists argue among themselves. Many people think that spouses should definitely sleep together, in the same bed. Considering that in this way it brings them together. In fact, there are other studies that show that co-sleeping kills sex and the joy of it.
• It is believed that sexual relations become routine and uninteresting. Everything happens exactly the opposite, if spouses sleep separately, and come to the territory of another partner when they want intimacy. In this case, some courtship is visible, while sex becomes diverse and interesting, which brings novelty to the relationship.

Relationship Psychology: Secrets

What do you need to do to build a happy family relationship? The fact is that many women and men believe that after marriage, work on relationships ends. In fact, everything is just beginning. In order to save a marriage, it is necessary to work hard, not only for a woman, but also for a man. There are several tips, following which, you can save, improve relationships.

Relationship psychology, secrets:

• Don't make scandals. Indeed, girls can create a storm in a glass out of the blue. They like to inflate an elephant out of a fly, and even little things cause grandiose scandals. Try to be tolerant of your partner.
• Find time to connect with each other. Even if you are constantly working, you are at home only in the evenings, this is not a reason to refuse to communicate with your other half. Be sure to take a few minutes to talk. It may be some family business that needs to be done. You can do them together and chat at the same time.
• Be sure to support your partner. Whatever business he does, the confidence of the second half gives interest, and also stimulates feats. Thus, a man becomes more impetuous and successful.

Psychology of relationships: women's secrets

Don't betray each other. It is essential to be faithful in the family. If you are not satisfied with sexual relations, be sure to talk to your partner and tell them what you would like.

Relationship psychology, women's secrets:

• Respect your partner even if his hobby is not suitable for you, or you consider it too extreme. In any case, you must respect your partner.
• Be sure to trust your lover. In no case do not equal other partners and acquaintances. Never compare your man with others, do not say: “But my friend Alena has an economic husband, he helps her, but you don’t.” Everyone has their own relationship, and such jokes only worsen mutual understanding between partners.
• Support a person even when he is feeling bad if something bad happened. People should be together not only in happiness, but also in sorrow. Support with a kind word and hug your man. Be sure to try in the bad, to see the good. They say that the situation cannot be changed, but you can change your attitude towards it. This is the opinion of psychologists.
• Very often there are scandals about the untidiness of a partner. Men like to leave mugs in the kitchen or scattered socks after themselves. Now think about whether you are flawless and always behave correctly. Most likely not, perhaps the man is simply turning a blind eye to your shortcomings.

Learn to listen to each other. You need to let your partner speak. This is more difficult for men than for women, so you must be able to listen to your lover. Try to constantly nurture the relationship. Emotional recharge is needed, as a joy, gift or surprise. Try to arrange surprises for your man, such as a family dinner or a romantic getaway.

VIDEO: The psychology of a happy relationship

People don't have time to learn anything anymore. They buy things ready-made in stores. But there are no shops where they sell friends and love, because people no longer have friends and relationships.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

People often have a lot of questions about friendships and relationships. Is there friendship between a man and a woman? How to achieve understanding of a man / woman in a relationship? These and many other questions were answered by a psychologist/family counselor Ikonnikova Evgeniya Viktorovna .

1. Is there friendship between a man and a woman?

No, there is no friendship between a man and a woman, either he is a former lover or a potential lover. If we are talking about relationships between a man and a woman that do not have sexual overtones, then one of them is either deceiving or deceiving the other, he has a sexual attraction. For example, a man and a woman meet, she considers him a friend and offers him only friendship, but he wants her, that is, she experiences sexual attraction, she still refuses, saying that he is just a friend for her, he agrees with her, but at the same time he desire still remains. For him, it becomes like an obstacle/challenge to be overcome. They can become good friends if they slept together once. After sex, friendship between a man and a woman can be very strong without continuing sexual relations. This is important because if a man wants sex and they tell him no, it's just friendship, then he will fight this obstacle. If the situation is in the opposite direction, for example, a woman experiences this desire, then she will stop all relations with a man, because she will feel “not a woman”, that is, they don’t want her, for her it will be a kind of insult. When everything happened to them, and they both realized that this was not what they wanted, then they are already friends.

2. Can friendships turn into love relationships? If so, how strong will they be?

Of course they can. This proves once again that there is always a sexual attraction between opposite floors. It may be unconscious, disguised, perhaps just one of them already had a relationship with another / another. If friendship develops into a relationship, then a love relationship can be quite long and strong, because while they were friends they got to know each other very well, they know each other through the prism of friendship, and then they recognize each other through the prism of a love relationship. This gives greater intimacy, more points of contact, and it will also be a more conscious choice of partner.

3. How to achieve warmth in a relationship?

If a man is rude, and a woman tries to get more warmth from him, then most likely she will not succeed. He is what he is and will be in a relationship. The whole point is that a woman needs to learn to accept him as he is, if he is hard, and a woman demands softness from him, this will not help. He will be able to give her warmth or some kind of softness when she completely and unquestioningly accepts him, but again, it’s not a fact that he will do this, since he is not used to doing this, yes, he can try if he understands that it is very his partner needs, it will be very difficult for him, but it happens very rarely and individually. Again, a contradiction: a woman wants to have a strong man next to her, who achieves success in everything, but a soft man cannot achieve success, and if he is tough, successful and when he comes home to “take off the skin of a hard” man and become soft, he will not succeed, if he's tough there, he'll be tough at home. Yes, there are men who know how to switch, but this is hard work on themselves, a high level of self-control, a level of personality development, and most importantly, this is a desire when a person understands where and with whom he can perform certain roles, somewhere hard, somewhere you need to be soft, and not everyone is ready to work like that.

4. What can spoil a warm friendship and love relationship?

Anything is very easy to destroy. For example, any behavior that causes distrust, somewhere deceit, some kind of omission / reticence, ignoring. If a woman needs affection and attention, and her needs are not met, she pouted / offended, then these are already the first stages of destruction. If a man needs attention support and belittle him as he is, and a woman demands something from him (changes, for example), does not understand, arranges a lot of tantrums, is always dissatisfied, and he needs peace, then again, all these nuances ( unsatisfactory needs of partners) lead to a lack of warmth and to the destruction of relationships, whether they are friendly or loving.

5. How to avoid it?

The most important thing is to listen to each other. Of course, you should not forget about yourself, that is, if you feel that something is not right, you need to tell your partner about it. Be sure to discuss everything that does not suit you, and also listen to what is unpleasant for your partner. See if they listen to you. If a person does not want to listen, does not want to change something, then the question is different, maybe you do not hear him, what he wants, you focus only on yourself, but in return you do not focus your attention on the problems of your partner. There should be some kind of interchange, there should not be an eternal “I”, when everyone sees the needs of the other and tries to satisfy them, then only in this case can the destruction of relations be avoided.

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Now I want to separately consider two situations: the cold in the relationship from the very beginning - situation 1 and the cold in the relationship appeared after a while, although at first everything was warm, light and cool - situation 2.



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Situation 1 or "Tell me how he/she really feels about me?"

I often receive e-mails describing something like this: a girl met a guy, she liked him, he seemed to like her too, they started talking on social networks, went on a date and .... continued to chat on social networks. A week or two passes, again a date and sex, the girl is happy, but she rejoices "quietly" so that she does not "think something superfluous." And the guy ... again, as if nothing had happened, communicates quite on a friendly note in social networks and lives his life on. At the same time, he can say that he was fine and the girl was interesting to him. And the girl has already fallen head over heels in love and is racking her brains from this strange behavior of such a distant and at the same time close guy. Why does his figure in her head grow and grow in importance, and now her hobbies, work, friends can gradually fade into the background ... And we almost already have a situation from which it is very painful and unpleasant to get out of it every time.

What is the main "bug" here?

There are many stereotypes about how a woman and a man should behave in a relationship - how should they confess their feelings, who should call whom first and when, the “three dates” rule and many more similar stereotypes that depersonalize the individual beauty of relationships, liveliness and sincerity of feelings in them. Our upbringing, culture and mass media declare in every possible way: a woman cannot take the initiative and tell a man directly about her feelings - the intrigue will go away. I believe that because of this stereotype, many women, being “hot” inside, remain “cold” on the outside. And a man, on the contrary, should be ignited from a woman, from her energy, sensuality and openness. And when it comes to restraining one's feelings and not "hanging" around a man's neck, I think it means not so much the taboo on feelings itself, but on the form of their presentation. A lot depends on the form in which we present our feelings and thoughts.



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Compare:

Option A

I think you are a very interesting and attractive man. I would be glad to spend more than one evening with someone like you ... - Explanation: a woman talks about her thoughts and feelings in relation to a man and does not demand anything from him. In addition, it does not show that his figure in her field has already become incredible in size, thereby making it clear that this is no longer about falling in love, but about real addiction, which strains any person.

Option B

“I only think about you all the time!” Why didn't you call yesterday? We are fine? - A woman talks about her thoughts and feelings to a man, while showing not an emotion of interest, but rather a state of obsession. In addition, he throws him a question in a demanding and accusatory form, after which he demands that he dot the i's in the relationship and take responsibility. Result: the man runs away immediately or gradually.

There is also option B - the most common

Woman: Hello! How are you there?

Man: Okay, but a lot of work. And how are you?

Woman: Everything is fine. Well, I won't digress.

Explanation: everything seems to be quite environmentally friendly, the woman does not “take out the brain” with accusations, but also retains intrigue and does not say what she only thinks about this man. Result: dry correspondence, where neither the man's interest increases nor his attitude to the woman is clarified.

Situation 2 - "How to return old feelings in a relationship?"

They fell in love, started dating, everything was fine up to a certain point, until ... she began to notice that he was "". (Most often, women are the first to notice a cooling in a relationship, as they are more sensitive and less able to withstand the average range of feelings in a relationship, when everything is “exactly” or “no way.” But this is far from a rule and not an axiom)



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What can be done? How to revive relationships and return warmth to them?

It is often difficult to talk about something unpleasant, about what offends or angers, and this seems to be understandable - no one wants to conflict, be the initiator of a quarrel, “rock the boat”. But it often happens that it is difficult to express not only “bad” feelings, but also good ones. The difficulty may lie precisely in the fact that the accumulated negativity prevents you from giving free rein to the positive. Therefore, it is important to learn how to communicate your grievances, anger, anxiety, fears and other negative emotions that naturally arise in any relationship to your partner in a correct and environmentally friendly way. You can learn how to do this in an environmentally friendly way, so as not to destroy relationships, in consultations with a psychologist.

In addition, it can say negative experiences of past relationships or negative attitudes about relationships, for example, being in a relationship is “this is a trap.” And the influence can manifest itself both at the initial stage of the relationship, and at the stage of several months, when it comes to a person that he is really in a “relationship” and, therefore, to a certain extent, dependent. The main thing here is not to fall into pathology. It is possible to disassemble in the facets where a healthy dependence in a relationship ends and a pathological one begins.

Help yourself - self-help methods:

1. If you want to make your relationship with your partner warmer, do not rush things. This process is delicate, sometimes painful and difficult. It is important to achieve a certain level of trust and mutual comfort in a relationship in order to achieve this.



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2. Try to observe and listen to yourself and your feelings. Often they respond somehow in our body. Note the circumstances in which you have certain feelings. If they are directed towards a person, directly tell him about it, starting with "I ..."

3. When something nice is said to you, note how you react to it. What feelings arise? What are the sensations in the body? Try to linger in these feelings and sensations. Repeat these words inside yourself, assign them to yourself (“yes, I am like that”);

And of course, contact me for a consultation! I am always ready to help you understand the relationship and tell you how to add “fire” to an fading or even already “cold” relationship. Remember, nothing is impossible! For psychology, yes.

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The psychology of relations between a man and a woman is an immense topic that you can talk about endlessly, and never come to a common denominator. As a psychologist, I studied relationship theory for several years, and then in practice, working with clients who are in troubled relationships or on the verge of breaking up, I identified some of the most important rules of relationships that can be easily applied in practice in order to achieve mutual understanding and long happy years of marriage.

In this article, I will tell you what you should never do in a relationship. You will learn three forbidden tricks, as well as six rules of what you need to do if you want to build a healthy harmonious relationship. What do they want, what are they afraid of and what do men and women dream about in a relationship - you will find out in this article.

So, the psychology of relations between a man and a woman.

How to never do - 3 forbidden tricks in a relationship

Most of us grew up in the Soviet era, and our parents and grandparents, who grew up in the Soviet era, passed on their way of thinking and beliefs to us. In the post-war period, people got married because it was impossible to survive alone, and many families were created on the basis of the proverb “be patient, fall in love”. There was no psychology of relationships at that time, and therefore their relationship is for us rather an indicator of how not to do it, how not to communicate and how not to live. But unconsciously, we nevertheless adopted their behavior model, which successfully earned ≈80% of divorces. So, what did they do that we should never repeat?

Technique #1: "Losers"

The first thing that was almost accepted was to insult each other and inadvertently say that “you are a simpleton and a fool, and nothing will work out for you”, “no one needs you except me”, “you have always been a loser” and everything like that. In other words, there was no support and protection in the relationship, and mutual jokes that degraded dignity and lowered self-esteem became rougher and more painful every year.

You must understand that popular psychology did not exist then, and the foundation of relationships was in most cases forced or forced. Many people did not know what a resourceful and healthy relationship is. But now you are reading this article, and it is your duty to pass on to your children and grandchildren a new, psychologically healthy model of relationships. After all, no matter how many smart books your children read about this, unconsciously they will still assimilate the model of their parents' relationships, that is, yours.

Mutual reproaches and insults, disbelief in your partner is a great power. A woman who does not believe in the success of her man, does not respect him and allows herself insulting words addressed to him, is able to turn a charismatic and successful man into a typical "sofa character" with a low standard of living and a complete lack of self-confidence. A man who does not put his woman in anything can also easily turn a beautiful blooming woman into a worthless hunched-up little woman in a few years or even months, which really becomes "no one else needs except him."

Why is this happening? Because any, even the most self-confident person with a steel rod, hearing the same words addressed to him, sooner or later begins to believe in them. Call your partner a loser every day, and after a while he will also begin to think of himself, and the hour is not far off when he actually turns into a complete loser. As they say, whatever you call a ship, that's how it will sail.

Sometimes it seems that many people take pleasure in showing their partner that he did everything wrong, he did not succeed, and he is nothing of himself. This is perhaps the biggest mistake in a relationship, and also the most traumatic thing for a person, to immerse him in a sense of failure and unfulfilled expectations. If you act in this way, you will never see a successful partner next to you. In this unhealthy atmosphere, your partner will fade away day by day, and will cease to be desirable and loved for you and for himself.

Technique #2: "We ourselves"

Another big mistake of that time, which we successfully adopted from our grandparents, is that you don’t have to rely on anyone, you don’t need to ask anyone for help, and you have to solve all your problems yourself.

The psychology of a person is such that he can and sometimes wants to solve the problems of his partner, in the depths of his soul it is pleasant for every person to help. But only in those cases when they ask him for help and easily accept it from him. If, for example, a woman makes a man understand that she refuses his help, he will most likely stop offering it over time. Because the refusal of help is perceived by a person as his uselessness, lack of demand.

What do we end up with? Infidelity, separation, divorce. And all due to the fact that the spouses, proudly declaring to each other that they do not need anyone's help, eventually begin to feel their lack of demand, the lack of need for each other. Women came to me for consultations who never asked their husband for anything, did everything themselves and believed that he should be grateful to them for this. And then, one fine day, the husband left for another. Because he did not feel his strength and indispensability, being next to a woman who did not need anything from him. And that other one probably needed his help, which means, in his opinion, he himself was needed. Any person is happy when he is asked to help, because this means that he is appreciated and cherished.

In the modern world, both a man and a woman can exist without a relationship, both can support themselves and, in which case, call a "husband for an hour." And, doing everything on their own and not feeling their own relevance in relationships, people cease to understand why they need relationships at all.

In the case when a man does not ask for help and believes that he must do everything himself, the situation is also deplorable. When such a man is in the office, it turns out that he shares practically nothing with either his friends or his wife. Among friends, it is somehow “not accepted”, “I will look like a weakling”, “they will ridicule”. And the wife - “on whom will she rely, who will be her support and protection, if I myself need her help? She will stop perceiving me as a protector, stop respecting me.”

As a rule, after a few we find out that all these thoughts are delusions generated by the ancient negative attitudes of the father or grandmother. With these delusions dispelled, we come to the conclusion that sharing problems and asking for help is one of the things that keeps and fills relationships with pleasant joy, connects people to each other even closer, and gives both partners an important reason to love each other.

Tactic #3: "Strong and Independent"

This mistake is similar to the previous one, but differs in that a person not only does not accept help from his partner, but also tries to compete with him.

We live in a world where long-term relationships are possible only in two opposite roles. Even for same-sex couples, roles are often distributed in two different directions, and both partners complement each other in everything. If one is better at cooking, then let the other fix the plumbing. And if two people in a couple try to be equally strong and perform the same roles, such relationships are usually doomed to failure.

Nature will strive to make opposites out of them. So, if a woman takes on male roles, her level of the male hormone testosterone may well increase. Such a pair of testosterones will have great rough sex for the first time. Then the level of testosterone in the man will start to fall, he will become weaker, he will begin to have problems with erection. Over time, he will lose interest in his strong woman. And it would be better for him if it happened as soon as possible. Otherwise, he may lose his job, self-confidence, besides, his body will weaken, he will become more fragile and feminine. So, it is completely unprofitable for a man to be in a relationship with a strong woman, otherwise nature, striving for eternal balance, will make a weak man out of him.

And this is not about the fact that a woman should be weak, and a man should be strong. This means that in a pair no one should compete with each other. If you caught yourself wanting to earn not just a lot, but more than your partner; on the desire to be brighter, better, more beautiful, more interesting than he is. The desire to stand out against its background. Or the fact that you are insulted and humiliated by his successes, while you are not succeeding. All this may mean that you unconsciously burn with a desire to be better than him, to defeat him.

So those were the three most common relationship mistakes. Of course, there are many more such mistakes in life. You can deal with them and understand how to build relationships with me at. You can sign up for it and see the cost. And in those couples where partners make these mistakes, discord in the relationship quickly sets in. Avoid them if you want to create harmony and comfort in your family.

Psychology of relations between a man and a woman - 6 simple rules

How to build harmonious, mature, respectful and, most importantly, long-term relationships? Now you will read about six rules, six pillars that support psychologically healthy, resourceful relationships, and if you can build these rules into your family relationships, your fairy tale will have a happy ending!

Rule #1: Mindfulness

Due to the fact that people tend to unconsciously adopt the family model from their parents, partners often find themselves in co-dependent roles: victim, persecutor (aggressor) and rescuer. The victim is under pressure and coercion of the aggressor, and the rescuer wants to help the victim.

Everyone usually has their favorite role, but this triangle is dynamic, for example: the husband is dominant and aggressive towards the wife (husband is the persecutor, wife is the victim). The wife cries and complains to her mother, and the mother gives advice and tries to help (the wife is the victim, the mother is the rescuer).

Or like this: the husband drinks and comes home feeling guilty. The wife yells at him, swears and shows aggression. Because of the negativity dumped on him, the husband goes to drink. And at home he is again waiting for this punishment. The wife blames her husband for everything, and the husband, in turn, considers his wife to be the culprit of his alcoholism. And both are constantly changing roles in the triangle (victim-tyrant-rescuer). Such a phenomenon in psychology is called an endless conflict. This is the magnet that keeps husband and wife close to each other. As a rule, it is based on an unresolved and unconscious intrapersonal conflict and a neurotic relationship with a parent.

If you understand that you are also a member of the codependent triangle, then in order for the relationship with your partner to become conscious, psychologically healthy and happy, you need to fully realize this and get out of the triangle. Especially to help you with this, I wrote a book. It consists of tasks, completing which, you will become a conscious person, learn to defend your boundaries and gain the determination to change everything that does not suit you in life and in relationships. You will stop holding and enduring, understand your true desires and begin to fulfill them. You will change your relationship with others: you will easily talk about what does not suit you and change it.

Rule #2: "Winners"

What is required for this? Sincere, genuine faith in a partner. Words that enhance his self-esteem and his faith in himself. Actions to improve it. Thoughts on his success, growth and development, sincere wishes for all the best for him.

All this will give your partner energy and inspiration, thanks to which he will believe in himself, will achieve his goals and, most importantly, will love you more and more every day.

It is important for everyone to hear words of support from the closest person, to know that he has something to rely on and there is someone who believes in him. After all, if a loved one believes in you, do you really have chances not to believe in yourself?

A woman who gives a man energy and inspiration, believes in him and speaks openly about it every day, a man will never leave. He will appreciate her and will do anything for her, just to feel that she believes and know that she considers him a winner.

The psychology of relations between a man and a woman is as follows: a sincere interest in the happiness of another gives rise to an energy exchange aimed at developing the abilities, talents, achievements of a partner, as well as increasing his emotional level and quality of life.

“You are talented, smart, efficient, skillful”, “you are strong, you know how to bring things to the end, capable, worthy of the best.” "You'll be fine."

It would seem that such simple words. Why don't most couples say them to each other every day, and persist in divorcing? It's good that you are no longer one of them, and soon your relationship will turn 180 degrees towards happiness.

Rule #3: Helpers

Recall the second mistake in relationships - do not do everything yourself. Learn to ask for help and then thank for the help. Any person wants to feel needed and in demand, and, as you remember, it is requests for help that make a person understand that his partner needs him, is in demand and irreplaceable. Ask your partner to help you and accept this help with joy and gratitude.

I also made a video for you about the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman:

Ask for help sincerely, and then your partner will know that you need him. It is so important for him to feel important. And sometimes it is so important for you to unload, relax and get help from a loved one. As a result of such an exchange, both partners win, and the relationship wins: one receives help, and the other is convinced of his importance and hears words of gratitude that inspire him to do even more and better for his partner.

Rule #4: "Fight the Right Way"

It is generally accepted that a quarrel or conflict is something negative, leading to not the most favorable consequences for relationships. But after all, a conflict is a clash of interests, which means a great opportunity to get to know each other better and take relationships to a new level. Now I will tell you how not only not to quarrel, but also to make a quarrel a turning point towards rapprochement.

Communicate politely but firmly. Never raise your voice to your partner. There is an opinion that a person screams when he wants to be heard. But it has long been proven that the human psyche reacts in exactly the opposite way: a person stops hearing you just at the moment when you raise your voice to him. Thus, yelling at your partner is only worth it if you want your conversation to lose all meaning.

Start any fight on a positive note: talk about what is positive about your partner and what he does for you and for the relationship. It is important that your words are sincere, and that you really thought so.

Talk about the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. “I feel bad because we don’t have this” ... “I’m offended that” ...

When you are sure that you have been heard, express your wishes. What do you want? "I would be extremely pleased if next time we" ...

The basic rule is that you communicate sincerely and frankly. They didn’t play around and didn’t look for workarounds, but they said what they think. But in a new constructive form. Do not pronounce the pronoun "you", because after it, just like from a raised voice, the person stops hearing you. “You couldn’t”, “you forgot” - is perceived as a claim, and the first reaction of the human psyche to such words is to defend itself, and not to listen.

Your task is to make sure that the person hears you and listens. Therefore, replace “you’re bad” with “it’s unpleasant for me,” and “how could you” with “it’s hard for me, I’m offended.”

Rule #5: "Love"

Myself. Only those relationships where everyone loves himself can be harmonious. Where everyone has their own territory, which does not depend on a loved one.

What does the absence of your territory and self-love look like in a relationship? The absence of one's own territory stimulates the desire to occupy the territory of another. Control, check, doubt, suffer in his absence, wait, worry, get angry that he came later or did not call back right away. Such a person does not love himself. He encroaches on the territory of another and, like a bath leaf, clings to his partner and begins to choke him with his “love”. He does not have his own territory, he does not have an interesting exciting job, his close friends, personal hobbies and hobbies, and he smears relationships into all the voids of other areas of life. If the other at the same time has his own territory and he loves himself, then such a relationship is doomed to failure. After all, it is impossible to force love. You can only inspire love. And the one who stands with a rolling pin at the entrance when you are three minutes late home does not inspire love at all.

A harmonious relationship is where everyone loves himself, has his own life, is himself a separate person, does not try to merge with a partner and control him, simply because he has his own life, which is of the greatest interest to him. Harmonious relationships are when you feel good together, and you give each other joy and pleasure. But you are wonderful without each other. You can read more about what self-love is.

Thus, the basis of any happy relationship is, first of all, a happy relationship with yourself. And in order for you to build relationships filled with love and respect, you first need to learn to love and respect yourself, to become a separate person with your own separate territory.

I have a practice book. I have included the most effective self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love techniques that have helped many of my clients build happy and healthy relationships by changing their attitude towards themselves. If you have problems with this, you can read the full description and purchase the book.

Rule #6: "Speak"

Talk to each other. Never think, do not build illusions from fragments of phrases and allusions. Leave no ambiguity between you. And stop thinking that your partner will figure it out. Men, for example, do not build canvases from illusions and conjectures, as women sometimes do. They are much easier to perceive direct conversations and practically do not recognize signs and omissions. And women who tend to think and guess are perhaps an even greater threat to relationships. After all, a man will ask, ask again, try. And the woman herself will come up with, she will be offended, and who knows what consequences this may have!

So speak, speak! Do it calmly, politely but firmly. Express your thoughts. Let your partner know what you really want. Talk about how you feel (even if mom said that you have to endure. Remember the beginning of the article - mom did not know psychology).

Nowadays, relationships are created in order to be happy. Do everything that is described in this article, and over time you will succeed.

Love is…

In this article, I presented a variant of what a healthy harmonious relationship should look like. But I didn’t talk about what most relationships really are, and how to move from them to “healthy”. Relationships happen, scandals can happen in them. Some have to live with their parents, and it also happens that as many as three generations live in the same apartment. Many unconsciously copy the behavior of mom or dad, thereby destroying their family. Problems can be completely different, and each of them requires a separate article. And even better - a separate conversation with a psychologist. Because your problem is not like anyone else's, and I can't cover and break it down for everyone in an article or video.

My name is Lara Litvinova, I am a psychologist, and I conduct consultations via Skype. Together with you in a consultation, we can understand your situation and decide how it can be changed. You can book a consultation with me via in contact with, instagram or . You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work. Reviews about me and my work you can read or leave.

I work with relationship problems as well as the personal problems that cause them. I will help you deal with yourself and with your partner, build a mature, warm and happy relationship that will last for many years.

Conclusion

If you follow the rules I have proposed for the psychology of relations between a man and a woman, you will be able to build harmonious and healthy relationships and extend them until old age.

And do not forget to buy my book "" on how to build conscious relationships, stop adjusting and enduring, and gain the determination to immediately change everything that does not suit you in life and in relationships. You can buy and read the full description

Hello dear friends. Let's talk about how a family arises and develops. How is the psychology of relations between a man and a woman manifested in marriage? How can this be taken into account in the movement of such a union towards finding happiness?

Almost everyone strives to become a happy family man. But how to do this, they do not teach either at school or at the institute. Therefore, many will benefit from reading this article. Perhaps this will help in old age not to turn into a man-hater or a misanthrope.

How family life develops in stages

1. First there is a meeting with which everything begins. This is a strong mutual sympathy, love and desire to be together. Often this time is called "bouquet and candy." Future spouses are still young, full of passion and pleasant expectations.
2. After a short period of time (maximum a year), already being married (in most cases), everything changes. Young people take off their rose-colored glasses. And they see their partner, so to speak, without makeup. He or she turns out to be not so mysterious after all. And the grinding process begins.
3. Next is the achievement period. When the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage passes the toughest test. Spouses stop wasting time on mutual reproaches. They direct most of their efforts to self-realization.
4. If you managed to overcome the previous stage of the relationship, then comes the realization of happiness. Such a time in terms of fullness of energy is similar to the initial stage. Only in that period passion and desire prevailed. And here the spiritual connection and understanding of the inextricability of relations is strengthened.

Now about the features of each stage separately. And how psychology characterizes the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage at each of these stages.

Bouquet and candy period

In terms of intensity of passions, he is the most charged. And this is very good. The energy of the initial period of the relationship will later recharge the fading feelings of the spouses. During this period, each of the lovers idealizes his partner more than he sees him in reality.

What should be taken into account here?

The desire for constant contact is very strong. Therefore, there is a high probability of unknowingly morally injuring your soul mate. After all, young people still do not know each other well. In general, try not to find fault with your partner's words.

Life without rose-colored glasses

After the mutual passions subside, the time comes for an easy sobering up. Mutual Feelings are still quite strong. But the spouses in each other begin to distinguish a living person instead of a fictional ideal. This is the time of the first tests:

• firstly, children appear in many families, and the question of the need to take responsibility for another life rises squarely;
• secondly, it is necessary to conduct a common economy, which means that it is necessary to share powers;
• thirdly, almost everyone is already working and we need to learn how to allocate time for both work and family.

What is the peculiarity of the psychology of relations between a man and a woman in marriage during this period? And what should be taken into account?

1. A lot of time is taken up by work, household chores and taking care of small children. There seems to be only time for sleep. But it is important to continue with your soul mate. During this period, each other's support is especially important for both.
2. Because of the division of powers to serve the family, there will be many quarrels and disagreements. This is a natural process in every new family. Try not to be strong (especially men) because everyday issues will be adjusted over time. It is more important to keep your feelings.

personal maturation

The couple successfully passed the stage of grinding to each other. The distribution of responsibility for the maintenance of the family has also ended. Young people have matured and acquired the status of a person in the eyes of others.

Each of the spouses is realized in career growth, in business or in creativity. He and she receive recognition already outside the family, which usually “inspires” any person. There is an awareness of one's self-sufficiency.

This stage of the relationship is dangerous because the feelings have weakened enough. And the inner ego, fueled by the success of personal growth, makes you look around. Maybe I deserve something more? The midlife crisis usually sets in here.

How does psychology see the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage during this period of life? How can this be taken into account here?

1. Continue with your partner. But communicate more on topics of his interest outside of the family. Those. be interested in his successes and experiences in work, business, creativity.
2. Remember more often your first stage of the relationship, but only without reproaches. The energy of memories of the candy-bouquet period helps to maintain relationships.
3. Before you dramatically change your life and let another person into it, think carefully. Remember the wisdom of King Solomon: "This too shall pass."

Love as a reward

Well, here comes the stage of self-awareness as an accomplished family man. This is the finish line on the journey of happiness. By the way, many do not reach this straight line. Someone lacks the energy to overcome difficulties, and someone lacks the understanding not to do stupid things.

Features of this life stage:

• children grew up and left the family in search of their happiness;
• career growth and business success have passed their highest point;
• maximum family welfare;
• spouses have a lot of free time.

The behavior of both often manifests a sense of gratitude for the joint path traveled. There is an awareness of the correctness of the once made choice. This is a time of higher, conscious love. Instead of passion comes spiritual unity and a feeling of happiness.

The habit of overcoming difficulties and mutual claims together strengthens the feeling of love for your soul mate and makes such a union inseparable. And, as a result, more and more tenderness and affection for each other is manifested in words and actions.

Conclusion

From the material you read, you, probably not for the first time, learned that life together is not only pleasure. Mutual feelings are very important. Without them, a real novel would not work. But for this novel to turn into a full-fledged book, efforts are also needed.

I painted by periods how psychology defines the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage. How it usually happens and what to consider. The next steps are up to you. And when it becomes completely unbearable for you, remember what King Solomon said about this.

Good luck and good mood. That's all for today. Read, subscribe, comment, share with friends. See you soon.

Best wishes.

Sergei Bezdvorny