How to establish relationships with her husband? Family disorder - not a reason to part. Tips how to establish relationships with her husband what to make relationships with her husband

12.06.2021

The misunderstanding with a close person may arise at any stage of the married life - in the first few years after marriage or after the birth of children and even after several allocated decades.

There is nothing terrible in this. We are all living people with their life positions and interests. However, if you chose your own living, it means that you have something in common, it simply lost among domestic problems.

Causes of depletion of relationships with husband

A woman since ancient times is a keeper, and therefore it is often it starts to find out why the relationship with her husband was not as they were some years ago.

If it begins to seem that in relationships with his beloved spouse, the disorder begins, it is necessary to start to find the source of what is happening.

Each married couple is individual and problems, too, but allocate the most common situations.

The first and most common among young situations are pregnancy and childbirth. For many, the news about adding the family is good and pleasant, but not all men can understand and help their beloved to survive new feelings for her. Weakness, fatigue, irritability, frequent mood changes - all of these consequences of changes in the hormonal background. Such behavior of women often beat off, and women are desire to give each other tenderness, care and passion. After the birth of a beautiful and beloved man often, the attention of a young mother switches to him, while the husband feels lonely and unnecessary. The child should not become an obstacle in family relationships.

The second situation can be attributed to excessive control. Such actions can be seen both from the side of the wife and husband. Not everyone will like it, if the favorite is constantly monitored by control, which is manifested in questioning, frequent calls on trifles and even hidden phone check, and sometimes a surveillance (this is an extreme case).

The third, and no less unpleasant situation, is to make a desire to adjust a person under themselves, depriving it with personal beliefs and habits. In most cases, positive results are not observed, but only frustration and discontent from the partner.

The fourth situation can be called reproaches that arise if one of the spouses believes that it makes more for. Also reproaches may arise due to financial problems. It all causes irritation, offense and unwillingness to be together.

The fifth can be attributed to the difficulties arising at work. Undoubtedly, all events occurring at work are reflected in family life. In case of misunderstanding and lack of support from the partner, the problems associated with the work begin to seem even more weighty, and there is a distance and cooling between the spouses.

Six and the most unpleasant situation for any spouse. It is worth finding out why the partner committed such an action, but in a relaxed atmosphere. Often marriages after such disintegrate.

Finding out the reason for the disaster in relationship with her husband, it is necessary to move to their elimination.

Reluctance close to her husband

Among the representatives of the fine floor there is a problem that lies in the reluctance to have sex with his beloved husband. Most often this is a psychological problem with which it is better to turn to a professional.

About sexual problems with the spouse should not be advised to be advised with friends, since the given advice does not always help, and you can also configure yourself more against your spouse.

For a woman, it is no longer important to physiological satisfaction, but awareness of the unity, mental intimacy, its need for a spouse's life.

It is easy to solve this problem - it is necessary to find the cause and correct it. It can be both physical and emotional fatigue, as well as the absence of romance, frequent quarrels and insults or even discontent and constraints of their appearance, more extent manifested after delivery.

Therefore, as soon as the woman figured out that it was the reason for the violation of their sex life, it is necessary:

arrange yourself vacation. Post down home problems aside, children and houses at home can be passed on to her husband, go shopping, follow up with girlfriends, go to the sanatorium. Any decimal change will allow you to break away from the usual mode;
to establish proximity to her husband in the emotional plan. Talk with a spouse for any topics, perhaps about future plans, listen to him, be indulgent to disadvantages;
make yourself beautiful. Visit the beauty salon ,. Change, apply makeup not only to enter people;
to do with your husband joint affairs and travel. It is worth asking her husband to help with household chores, go to the cinema or the theater, to engage in their hobbies.

How to refresh the relationship

In everyday household family life, everything seems to be seen and the same type, so it is necessary to refresh the relationship.

Better start with yourself. Remember what femininity is and. Check and take care.

It is worth adding more romantic surprises, dates and flirts. It is from this that usually begins, and then a feeling of love arises. This will add new sensations and diversifies family life.

Try something new in intimate life. , add sexuality, change the situation. Perhaps you should try role-playing games. Even if something goes wrong, you can spend fun, while you do not need to treat it too seriously.

How to establish communication

Even after a small quarrel, resentment and reluctance to communicate. But in this way the problems arising and disagreements do not solve. To establish communication with your husband, you need:

talk calmly without unnecessary emotionsshowing that there is a positive attitudes for communication;
it is worth asking for advice, giving understanding the need of a person in life;
share your feelings and experiences, showing trust and openness;
during conversations that resolve conflicts, it is necessary to express thoughts and positions specifically, without unnecessary lyrical deviations.

Any family pair wants their excellent relationships throughout life. Make it possible, putting a little effort:

Try to be always tuned to positive.
In case of trouble, they need to be discussed, not close in yourself.
During disputes and quarrels to show respect for the partner And do not allow insults towards the spouse.
Communication will allow you to find out what a close person thinks about, not imagging for him.
Do not allow monotals in relationships, do something new.
ExteriorTo cause admiration and inspiration from the spouse.
Make all actions sincerely and from the soul, not asking anything in return.
Complete relationships with hugs and kisses.
People tend to make mistakes, so you should learn to forgive.
Do not stop finding something new in a partner And appreciate the excellent joint moments.

When the Great Classic wrote that "every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," he was absolutely right. Situations that destroy the relationship in the family, a great set, and a woman like a custodian of a family hearth, always saving danger. The answer to the question of how to establish relationships with her husband and save the marriage, helps a woman to take a fresh look at the problem and can easily cope with her.

Crash relationship: My husband and I have a divorce

What happens over time? Why does the well-established life gives a crack? Why do they leave from the relationship of heat, trust and love? Reasons are usually considered:
- frequent quarrels and reproaches,
- financial difficulties,
- Different look at the education of children,
- Treason
And many others capable of smashing the "ship of your love" about everyday reefs.

It all starts very everyday and unstable. They quarreled and immediately came up. Yes, there is a shortage of money, but it has many. Children somehow bring up, we are not the first. But the trouble is that problems are unwinding on increasing. Quarrels are becoming increasingly, and the longer does not come reconciliation. Mostless delays and makes it seek the guilty in the lack of funds. And the behavior of children from inconsistent actions of parents is becoming worse and worse.

And now quite near, literally two steps, looming the prospect of breaking relationships. A woman is always hard to decide on the termination of marriage. She is ready to do a lot to save the family, but does not know how to establish relationships with her husband, especially on the verge of a divorce. Even recently, a native and beloved man suddenly becomes a cold and unstressed stranger who do not want to come to contact.

How to establish relationships in the family in this situation, how to start a conversation with her husband, if he avoids him?

Tips girlfriends and acquaintances, various recommendations from books on the topic - how to establish relationships - for some reason they do not work with your husband. Do not help not change the situation, no new style of clothing and hairstyles. Change external image is not difficult, but what to do with the full ignorance of the internal state of a man who lives with you for many years? And you need to act very accurately, because the second chance may not be.

Systemic vision of family relationship problems

Alien soul - dotches, so usually say when certain actions of a person cannot explain. But is it? How dark and unpredictable his soul, and is it possible to establish family relationships? How to return love and find a common language with my husband, the training of Yuri Burlan "System and Vector Psychology" is responsible. When the physical attraction, smoothing all the roughness of the relationship, becomes weaker over time, the woman often begins to see a completely unfamiliar person in her husband.

It turns out that your husband differs sharply from you in his way of thoughts, according to your desires and preferences. In the system-vector psychology, Yuri Burlan, these congenital mental features of a person are called vectors. They are eight and they are all different. And to understand how to establish relationships with your husband, it is necessary, first of all, to understand - and who he is, your husband?

Here you want one thing, and he is completely different. You like it, and he is. And your tastes, your desires and what brings pleasure in life, can also differ dramatically. Let's try to find ways how to establish relationships with your husband after any family troubles (quarrels and disputes, financial problems, betrayal of one of the spouses, scandals on the verge of divorce) and even - how to stay in good relationships after a divorce.

They are so different

Any woman dreams of being happy in marriage. But it turns out, family happiness for everyone is different. One woman dreams to make her husband doing her business or had a high position. She wants to have an expensive apartment in an elite area or home, attend status events, teach children in prestigious establishments and ride the European resorts. A lot of things want to get a woman with a skin vector from marriage.

She is fast, forever running somewhere ... And her husband is completely different - solid, leisurely. Of course, this man will try to provide a family, but he wants to be the owner in his house, and not in business. He is not interested in high positions, the status measures are not needed. "My home is my fortress" - here is the credo of a person possessing an anal vector. The education of children is not prestigious, but high quality. If the trip is not abroad, but to the cottage. And his friends will invite sincere, reliable, and not people with connections to his home.

You see, what's the difference? And everyone wants to be happy in the family, although he understands it in his own way. A woman can insist how much in his own, push her husband to do business, make useful acquaintances, but she does not achieve success. It will obscure resistance, first soft, then all tougher - with swearing, scandals and insults. He will argue to hoarseness and defend his opinion to death, and then, offended, weeks will not talk to his wife. What do you think it is easy to establish relationships after such quarrels, if you do not work with my husband and talk?

Women's happiness - would be cute next

So it hits in a famous song. These words respond to the heart of a woman for whom family happiness is the highest value. Home, economic, she is engaged in the house and children, creates comfort and comfort. And it is very waiting for her beloved husband to appreciate these efforts - tasty dinner praised and noticed purely washed floors. And then - a quiet family evening, leisurely talk about work, children, friends.

But ironically, or rather, on the principle of complementary properties, men are most often more common to women who are not so representing family happiness. For them, it is much more important to earn money, climb to the top of the career ladder, and they are ready to work on three works or with heads to immerse yourself in business to provide what they consider the most valuable in life.

These are men with a skin vector who cannot stop in place and prefer to spend time in motion, and the highest happiness consider success, achieving their goal, a successful deal. They are bosses on praise, do not like to show feelings and share information even with close people.

Therefore, attempts to squeeze such a man next to the sofa for spiritual conversations are doomed to failure. A woman with an anal vector will be offended that her works did not appreciate, did not praise for the created comfort and purity, for the care of her husband and children. And her husband simply does not notice these efforts. He has completely different values \u200b\u200b- he is a minider for which it is important to make a career, to start the right links, take a high position. To do this, he is ready to work for days, it is too early to leave and find it late without taking care of a homemade-wife to this.

This is normal and natural behavior for each of them. But not understanding each other's features, a wife and husband behave in such a way that the conflict may arise in a flat place. A woman reproaches her husband that he pays little attention to the family that he is all in the work that it comes late and is not interested in the problems of her and children. And the man sincerely does not understand what she needed? He earns a lot, he has a good job that takes time and strength. And this is exactly the main thing, and not some gatherings. Last time to spend time on it!

How to avoid family shipwreck

Just two options for the development of events from a variety of possible, two families - and a whole sea of \u200b\u200bproblems, any of which can lead to disintegration of relations. Not understanding her husband, a woman tries to impose him his gaze on life, its values, and often "re-educate." But this is unreal. Each person is born with his set of mental features, values \u200b\u200band desires that unconsciously seeks to implement.

Training "System-Vector Psychology" Yuri Burlan gives a stunning skill at first glance to determine the inner essence of any person. Possessing these knowledge, a woman will understand his man, his desires and motives of all his actions. She will surely know that if you constantly rush and pull a man with an anal vector, the result will be stubborn and offended by the debate and the sloth, which hovers with reproaches and accusations.

The spouse of the skinny man will understand that it can not be forced to sit at home. If you prevent him from implementing your ambitions and succeed in society, the woman may face angrily, jealousy or treason. Understanding this, the wife will build her relationship with her husband the best for both. There will be no offense and irritation, and communication between them will reach the highest level, bringing happiness and mutual understanding in the family.

For a woman who wants to establish relationships with her husband, there is only one way - to get knowledge that will help her save the family and find a way out of the crisis. Re-learn the person with whom so many years lived - incredibly interesting and exciting. Thousands of women's results that are already knowing how to establish relationships with her husband confirm - even the most difficult family troubles can turn into a new honeymoon, which will last all his life.

"... I realized that all my life struggled with him, demanded, condemned, argued, did not accept and considered it with love. I thought that I love him very much, but it turned out that numerous fears and complexes simply did not give me to know it truly. But while faith in separation prevails, otherwise it is impossible. Now in your own husband, I suddenly found the love of the whole life, which could not even dream about ... "

"... no, he is not Rokhl, just weaker than me with a lot of soul, and I easily suppressed him. He helped me all this year, when I worked, I prepared, cleaned, hung up with my daughter, worried about me and always called, what would be so tasty I want today. He deserved that he loved him, and I worried very much that I could not give it to this quite, I did not understand what I have done with me!

And here at the training I was like a zipper: Yuri told me that a woman was so arranged that her love arises in response to Chzib from a man, in response to his care, and this I gave it to this Chzib for him! This I gave protection and care! I brought this to the house of Mammoth! And where to take love to this in this case! And it became clear what to do! Come on, dear, bank turnup! Start becoming weak! I got some kind of relief, I always considered all these women's jokes, the fact of being below the man, and the fact of being a woman, what is there!

I go and roar, what, I think he is good with me, how much he endured me! He came home, hugged him - his own! He told how the day passed, it was consulted, as I enroll in a situation - he was just right at somehow! I pressed me to myself, and I was so good and calmly became more than never before that! So now the roar, I write and tears with a stream ... "

Reading time: 3 min

Canding the issue of establishing relationships in a pair, and specifically how to establish relationships with her husband, many greatly complicate the existing situation, forgetting often about ordinary rules that help to normalize any interaction. Before offended and draw conclusions that you do not listen or ignore, try to evaluate the adequacy of your own speech. Women are prone to a figurative, emotional and long-term narration, among which men are usually lost, and do not understand what a piece of information filed information, because it is physically impossible to respond.

Establishment of relationships after a quarrel

Having to save your speech from the hints, trying to express the most specifically and briefly, and also to stop believing the ability of a man to read your thoughts and guess desires you can avoid many. This is due to the fact that women tend to be silent for a long time, to be offended, invent and eventually arrange a scandal, instead that when you need to clearly designate the problem. The difference in the functioning of the brain imposes an imprint and on the perception of information, so the girlfriend will understand you instantly, the thoughts of similar schemes, and a man can still stand with a surprised face. Responsibility for communication lies on both partners, it is not enough just to wait for you to understand you correctly, you need to make efforts to convey your opinion as clear as possible.

Watch out for the presence of personal time and space, the periodic distance between you, since constant contact even with the most beloved tires. A person needs time for privacy and its business, need a pause to switch, returning home. Not getting such short recreation gaps can arise breakthroughs and irritation, even if you try to help and cheer. If your contact with the threshold is filled with complaints, remedies and problems, then the natural desire to only hide or stop the sucking life forces.

How to establish relationships with her husband after a quarrel? Try not to hurry - the Council is relevant for many situations in the interaction and construction of your own life. It may not be hurried at the expense of the action and solutions of another person, it may turn out to be that everything will work out, but what you do not give support or even criticize, set off the distrust and will select every desire to share. Do not hurry it to make a decision or somehow change the situation, because your own level of anxiety is shrinking. A person operates in that rhythm in which it is convenient, moreover, making a decision, a man usually analyzes and compares much more factors than a woman, which requires extra time.

Questions relating to feelings generally require a separate state in the men's world, because in order to restructure the wave of emotional, they need to postpone the entire logical process-analysis to the side, for which there are not so often there are opportunities. You can get an answer to the fact that you finally silenced or taken from the ceiling, although most often you will hear the formidable roar, which has a meaning that is not ready to answer you, that at the moment a man is not ready to answer. Do not hurry yourself in your life, with the giving promises, accepting the elections and the commission of iconic actions, let the time of impulsive to move aside, a little more about the situation that there would be no anecdical situation, where the wife started a new man, because her husband went away, but I went to the garage per hour.

Do not try to change your spouse, considering that then the relationship will be adjusted if there is a crack in them, then the upbringing of it, as if in the children's group will cause protest and rejection than you still exacerbate the situation. Change your reactions, trying to reduce the level of voltage in your interaction, this can be done by replacing the strategy of the requirements and critics for returns and praise (just do not change and do not change dramatically - men react to the slightest changes, and if they are serious, then rather Complete and straighten, and they will not meet you).

In general, instead of concentrating on the disadvantages of another and problems in relationships, shift a little focus on yourself, because to take care of yourself and completely plunging into the establishment of contact, the woman risks everything only to worsen. She applies titanic efforts, catches the slightest changes of the aura and facial expressions, while herself loses resources without receiving feeding and begins to demand and crush even not recognizing how it expects dividends from the invested efforts, and they do not all come. The focus is that through force and will not come, because a relaxed person can create a relaxed atmosphere, can be divided, and the hungry and evil can only crush and demand. So look for ways to restore your own emotional balance and sources of spiritual filling, during this time the relationship does not break down, and it can revive the contour, having received a sip of freedom.

As long as the relationship has just started, you even do not have thought in the most terrible quarrels that it will always be even worse, but over time, when the main points of innovation are passed, something outdated, and you and your spouse finally stopped hiding apart from each other The inevitable crisis of relations comes its negative qualities and the question of how to establish family relationships with her husband becomes relevant even for those who assured that it is not about them. The stabilization of relations during the crisis, when your marriage shakes, as if the plane in the turbulence zone requires changes to the general way to communicate, but in addition it is still necessary to deal with the causes of the crisis and discontent with what is happening.

The reason most often becomes boredom, life, habit. Judge yourself, all the innovations that could have already happened - you celebrated all possible holidays in various combinations of relatives and friends, you were in hospitals and closed the cucumbers. Opportunities to receive a new experience is simply exhausted by the repeatability of situations, besides for a long time you have studied each other, you know what you can expect, but the new and striking in your half have not been opening for a long time. We spend the same, even intimate becomes more routine. Shake the relationship will help bring romance in them or search for a joint new hobby - you can go on a date again, instead of the evening in front of the TV, and you can buy a couple of bicycles and explore the surroundings.

Everyone brighter is beginning to float the flaws of the spouse, and the advantages seem to evaporate, because, the longer we communicate, the less we are building a positive character before the spouse, we relax and manifest themselves as. The difference in perception as everything should have to be specified together, as specifically and open, i.e. It is better to inform you that you need talk for dinner, and then help in washing dishes, and not an abstract phrase, about the desire of more attention. To strive to block the behavior and emotional reactions, just like the life habits and glances in an adult, it is impossible and should not try to do it with your own husband. But the swallowing of the things that do not suit your life concept will affect the deplorable, report on the fact, and specifying the most specifying that you do not like. Try to avoid threatening phrases and intonations - your task is not to intimidate, but to inform your husband about how you in such a situation and leave its further behavior at its discretion, but the Obesting on the possible consequences.

At the border of the crisis or it is already important to understand how to establish relationships, while trying not to find out the entire accumulated and expressed problems in the time of the scandal immediately after the storm. It is necessary to choose the right time, possibly after a few hours or days so that emotions lay down, and the opportunity to discuss mutual claims, desires and suggestions. You should not begin deep topics, especially concerning feelings and relationships, when a man has run away to dine, just returned or going to leave. Offers to talk "About us" many men plunges in advance in the state of rabies, because it means a lot of text and details that are tiring, the lack of specifics and sentences for permission, as well as hopelessness, since his last attempt to make his woman happy, asking what she wants , ends with depreciation "nothing."

If you want to discuss with a man's problem or just make your relationship warmer, then express clearly and briefly ("I want to walk with you every Saturday"), not forgetting to offer options that you would have arranged, and without having all the responsibility for your husband (" For example, let's go to the sports ground in the morning or in the event in the evening "). Take his suggestions or disagreement, otherwise it is an authoritarian style of your one-cutting board, and not the equal relationship of two person values.

If you try to find contact yourself and the development of relationships in the creative side you did not work, then contact a specialist, ideally, it will be family therapy, but when you refuse to attend classes, you can go to an individual psychotherapeutic session. The effect will also be the model of your interaction will change, since the married couple is a system, and when one component of the system changes, the second changes automatically, otherwise they will not be able to interact.

Relationships on the verge of divorce

To establish relationships, seeking to divorce quite difficult, but with the appropriate and internal forces, quite fulfilling the idea, but is it worth it to do when the situation has acquired so much critical turn? Such cracks do not come suddenly, and from the reasons that cause the idea to disperse, you should choose different recovery tactics.

The flareness of the spouse can lead to a pre-driving state, and if it is expressed in permanent quarrels and finding out the relationship, it is still possible to reanimate the situation, having understood with the reasons and normalizing the state of the psyche. But if the hot-tempered will generate insults and humiliation, the hands-intensity and restriction of the freedom of a woman, then it is a divorce to get a quiet life in most cases, and not attempts to adjust the husband and normalize relations. The behavior of the spouse aimed at humiliation of a woman leads to a decrease in self-esteem, the development of depressive state and suicidal thoughts, the continuation of such an appeal even after several comments, means that such interaction is the usual and permissible in his picture of the world. This also includes the polygamous behavior of men, with an open expression of sympathy to other women with his wife, the presence of a mistress. With such relationships, if you agree to the periodic return of such a period for the sake of family preservation, it is worth consulting with a psychotherapist specializing in family relations.

If such critical cases do not have a relationship to you, you can work on the establishment of interaction. In order to understand how to establish relationships with her husband after a quarrel that causes the idea of \u200b\u200bdivorce, you need to go deep into the mechanics of the process. The presence of serious scandals indicates strong feelings, primarily to you, and this is far from indifference, because we do not shout on strangers as on loved ones. Oborking something inside a person, you cause a rapid reaction, it increases and precisely when the psyche burns the fuses and there is a threat that, with an increase in the degree of glowing passions, a person will not stand, he chooses to break the contact. Throw everything, divorce, stop communicating is the only possible reaction to save the integrity of something extremely important in his own psyche. A little retreating, showing that you are not going to repaint anything in the human soul, you can reduce the level of emotional stress. If, on the contrary, start climbing with requests to tell, why a person hides, to assure that you will be carefully handled with trusted information, if you trust it now, will lead to an increase in affect and accelerate the scratching process.

Listen to your spouse, just talking about the desire to establish relationships with your husband on the verge of a divorce, you need to be attentive to his thoughts about this, because your goal is to normalize the interaction, and not to fasten the person with handcuffs for the sake of formal joint findings. Expressing your own claims, be prepared to hear about your impartial features of the character, and honest will take into account the wishes of the partner if you want to take into account your comments. Crisis is mercilessly pushing people to divorce. But they only seem to believe that everything should be good a priori and not change, but relationships require daily peaceful work, self-confidence and change, they are far from the static and include both fireworks of joy and the month of Antarctic cold. When a high-quality and outdoor dialogue has not disappear between the spouses, most of the problems does not disappear, but it is amenable to a solution and does not develop into an irresistible comers going.

Try to add positive moments to your collaborative life, but remember your personal space. Being in the prejudice state, often and deeply in contact can be hard, so all your interactions should be short and light. It is better not to travel on a liner for family pairs - the space is closed, go to go now, the presence of happy couples will provoke on constant comparisons. It is quite possible to take tickets to the concert with you like both groups with you and better in some club than the hall with seats - it will give the opportunity to remember about general themes, will not communicate, if there is no desire (and in the Club of Movement and Communication with others look pretty Organically), and you can leave at any time. At such an analogy, invent a positive point in accordance with your situation and preferences, but sometimes you need to speak honestly and openly when you feel that the voltage level has decreased slightly.

Establishment of relationships after treason

The attitude towards treason in people is different and if someone cannot forgive her, then someone will simply be upset, but does not change his life, allowing such that herself that his partner. But having decided to continue relations with her husband after treason, it is worth understanding that it will be enough for the normalization of interaction, it will be enough of his apology and discussion of the situation, because the treason is a visible Tip of Iceberg, it is usually preceded by a division in the family system and often thanks to the Adultra, the family is preserved as a form. Otherwise, unfriendly needs and mutual charges or indifference would tear the family finally.

To protect yourself from revenge and thirst for power by manipulating what happened, making her husband everly apologizing, and because of it, the fears for the mood of his wife, it is worth aware of a few moments. He voluntarily decided to stay with you, the myth that could be strengthened by force or return the man long lost all vitality, you also voluntarily accepted it back, if you can't forgive, it was not necessary to continue the relationship. Based on these two simple postulates, it turns out that you are valuable and meaningful to each other, which is a separate incentive to normalize relations.

If it is still in your power, then do not disseminate information about what happened, because if you can forgive, the benevolent public will constantly remind and not in the most flatter interpretations. It is unlikely that someone will admire your joint ability to maintain the warmth of the relationship, even passing this, rather a husband to water mud, and to call you a fool. With a strong on-line public opinion, it is true to believe in all the facts provided and begin to act in accordance with their recommendations, but your life is yours. But to become another edge of the opposite, hiding the fact and in every way denying from those who know also not worth it, they can be correctly asked not to raise this topic once again, justifying what you are experiencing unpleasant when discussing.

How to establish relationships with her husband after his betrayal? The spouse must necessarily convey its condition, hold on, steeply portraying that you are so cool and self-confident that it didn't hurt you not reasonably. He must realize what happened to you, show it better as early as possible, and brightly and quickly (it's better to throw a vase into it and fuck for an hour, than a month not to talk to yourself). Be sure to discuss what happened and jointly decide how you live on. This may be an action plan or a certain behavior. You can negotiate about intimate proximity or demand not to communicate with your mistress, it may be specified compensation and the speed of gradually rapprochement. When discussing further life, focus on your condition at the moment, voicate needs and warn about your changed attitude to anything, because without alert, a man may be surprised why you jump off.

If we consider from the point of view of the theory of relationships, then the treason is a kind of cry of relations for help, when people did not pay attention to smaller points. When the relationships end, they ends quietly, simply coming to no, and if the third partner appears in them, but then the previous partner is still chosen, then this may be coldness, remoteness, the inability to satisfy something significant, such as the love and value of this person. Ideally deal with the unconscious motives of treason and wife should also review their behavior for the presence of unconscious actions pushing a man in the embrace of the other. People can consciously wish the opposite, but family messages are serious driving behavior factors laid in childhood. To detect and change them on their own rather problematic, since such convictions in the region of unconscious and act from there. Or the individual will help without unnecessary circular walks to establish the spouses of the relationship, but with acute reluctance or the absence of the possibility of contacting help, you can try to deal with yourself on the reasons.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "Plyomed"

The psychology of relations with her husband begins, often from the moment when the relationship is already broken. To think about it - there is no time and needs: after all, everything is fine, we live in the soul.

By the way, the interesting combination of words - say now in thoughts again "soul in the soul". It turns out some penetration into each other. I wonder what sensations at the same time? Maybe they are called love? Something similar seek to achieve during sex - merger ... But spiritual unity is achieved not physical proximity, but in completely in other ways:

common interests I.
sufficient communication.

When the listed is full, the sympathy between a man and a woman will rapidly improve, without anxiety efforts about appearance and excess weight.

How to improve relations with her husband?

When in a relationship between her husband and wife, a blast or gap happens, many consider silence to correct the situation, and after pretending that nothing terrible happened. There is such an expression: "Pink glasses are broken with glasses inside." Do you think who will suffer? Of course, you. An unspoken bitter sediment of the quarrel will pull similar suffering, and soon his wife will annoy not only the words of the spouse, but also appearance, his eyes, movement, familiar actions. But this development can be avoided. How? The surest way is to discuss the happening quarrel. But not immediately, and after 2-3 days. Tell him you want to talk about what happened, and you will try to listen to him calmly, without objection:

ask that, in his opinion, was the cause of a quarrel?
what remains unspoken?
what kind of words regrets? Are there any guilt or resentment?
how to settle an unpleasant situation?
and what to do to not be repeated?

But it is only half of the case. Relationship psychology is a mutual process. After the spouse, your turn will come to answer the same questions. Ask to listen to you calmly without nerves. After all, the purpose of the conceived - torture, and not aggravate the emotional breakdown and mutual insults. Please - do not julie, be frank, first of all, with you. If you feel that they are not ready to unsubscribe some of their own thoughts, answer, for example, "I'll think about", but do not do.

As a conversation, something unusual will happen: after temporary exacerbation of negative emotions (tears, discontent and elevated tone), do not notice how you will be boring to discuss a family incident. This means that the negative is exhausted by communication. Perhaps there will be a desire to brew coffee, prepare delicious together, get together on the sofa and watch TV. Noticed? A bilateral discussion returned sympathy, although the conversation was far from love ... Communication works wonders!

Psychology of relationships with her husband is a fragile thing.

Perhaps you are afraid to go to a similar conversation, because of the fear, destroy at least the Union that remained, or because they are not ready for a frank conversation. In this case, they will write out:

what led to a quarrel? And briefly describe the situation.
what did you decide after the scandal? The decision helped to establish relationships with her husband?
what annoys the spouse? Answer everything in a row without thinking, from the little things to importance?
how long have he been unpleasant for you? When did the first quarrel happened?
family for you - what is it? Who do you think yourself and who is a partner?
your personal plants about family life. For example, "All men - ...", "Husband must ...", continue. Maybe it's time to change them to positive?
understand your world in the house, or imposing your own position? Do you have love or battlefield? Is it time to fold the weapons and try to accept a person like it is?

Re-read the answers, and think about them.

A good way to establish relationships with my husband serve to touch. More often touch it: hug, stroke, lean. Not necessarily accompany the words. Take him by the hand, look into the eyes and extend this moment ... Communicate more in everyday life: Do not transfer to each other's bread for dinner, the remote control from the TV or gloves. Do not formally, and consciously, put on the attention and love of words and actions. Do not live "on the machine" and improve the quality of the love game.

Now close your eyes, and remember the first date. Transfer mentally at that moment - what do you feel? What do you think? What emotions are experiencing? The day was then or evening? How are you dressed and your favorite person? What did they say? Immerse yourself in these pleasant feelings and mood. And remember them more often. After all, love is a flower that you need to water every day, otherwise he will fade. (c) Natalia Solntseva

Each family is experiencing crisis from time to time. These are quite explained and regular periods of testing of strength relations. The first serious crisis is usually associated with the end of the rapid love period and the immersion in the measured family life. Next follows a crisis associated with the birth of the firstborn in the family when the usual way of life changes dramatically. The reason for the crisis can be a cool relationship with mother-in-law or mother-in-law, turmoil at work, the rejection of friends or friends of the second half and many other reasons.

Happy families, where hostile for family well-being are accepted with understanding, and the pair jointly decides how to overcome the situation. In such families, the case to scandals and discord usually does not reach. Husband and wife quietly agree, what line of behavior to stick and how to cope with the situation together with joint efforts.

However, not all pairs can withstand the verification of the crisis. The fracture fracture and rejection between spouses grows, turning, sometimes, in an insurmountable abyss. The earlier the woman notices that clouds are condensed over family well-being, the easier it will be to establish relationships with her husband.

The first chill
Noticing the first signs of alienation, try to understand what their reason is. Husband comes home later than usual? He tires hard at work, and you spend little time together? He is unhappy that you pay a lot of time to the child and very little - to him? This list can be continued for a long time, but the main thing is to find the cause.

Finding out that it destroys the relationship, try to solve the situation as soon as possible. The best way for this is a sincere and straight conversation. Think about what and how you tell the spouse. If you want to establish relationships with your husband, completely eliminate the charges and displeasure in his address. Crow the conversation only when you are in the smooth location of the Spirit and are confident that you can save a benevolent and calm tone during the entire conversation.

The very conversation from the fact that you are hard in a situation where there is a chill between you, that you want to return the same warmth and trust. Be sure to add that you understand that in this alienation there is a share of your guilt, mark it. For example, if you meet a husband from working with a sour mine on your face, tell me: "I understand that you are very tired, and I meet you with a stone face. I do not know what I found on me. After all, when you come home, I still joy from joy. But I'm offended that you come late and hide your joy. Of course, I'm wrong. I am ready to be honest with you and not to hide my feelings and emotions, regardless of which they are positive or negative. "

Ask a husband as frankly to say than he is dissatisfied, than caused by changes in his behavior. Your sincerity and kindness will bribe it, and he will tell you that he does not suit him in a relationship. Be prepared for what they have said can not like you (decision on divorce, other woman, etc.). Therefore, prepare in advance to hear anything. Customize yourself that under any circumstances do not allow yourself a scandal, threats and accusations of the husband. If his revelations are shocking for you, just tell me that it is very unexpected, you need to think about his words. The most reasonable thing is to stop the conversation on this to get together with thoughts and correctly evaluate the heard. Quickly switch to another topic, tell me that today you have beautiful pies to tea and go to the kitchen to cover on the table.

If the revelation of the husband is extremely simple and harmless, rejoice that his claims are so insignificant to you, and ask why he did not express it before. After all, for the sake of him, you should not do anything as he wants. But saying so, you really will have to reckon with his desires, and adhere to this promise.

Do not despair if the first attempt failed. Your kind mood and sincere desire to understand the essence of the problem will definitely bring the result. Sooner or later, the husband will reveal his soul in front of you. Further depends only on you.

If you have a deep abyss between you
Family problems can be both easily solved and very serious, and even insoluble. Cause of serious problems are usually becoming married treason, the departure of one of the spouses from the family, extramarital children, the lack of understanding and distrust of the spouses to each other. How to establish relationships with your husband in this case?

Immediately need to admit that the question is late, it was necessary to solve much earlier. But since he still got up to you, it means that your husband is dear to you and you do not want to lose it. No matter how hard it is, but in this case you need to start with a serious and sincere conversation.

So that he passes in a quieter bed must admit that there is a share and guilt in what has happened. For everything that happens in a pair, both are responsible. More often, disadvantages in family life occur where the woman lacks patience, wisdom and flexibility.

Before talking to honestly, analyze your own role in the family. What do you think from yourself as a custodian of the hearth? Is it clean and comfortable in your house, always the delicious lunch is always ready? Your appearance in the home atmosphere is flawless, and your behavior of immaculately - you are beautifully combed, carefully dressed, speak benevolently and calmly, laugh a lot and joke? Do you communicate well with children and parents of your husband? In this case, your chances for a safe outcome of the conceived conversation are very high.

Family troubles are very often actually acting on the appearance of a woman. She ceases to follow, the household is launched, control and participation in the life of children weakens. If this is your case, as you try to correct the situation and only after that, returning your appearance to an attractive look, becoming more confident in yourself, solve for a serious conversation.

For a conversation, select the moment when no one will interfere. Start it with the fact that you thought a lot about your relationships and came to the conclusion that the husband would be very expensive to you and you would like to save the family. It should not be too much emphasis on common children - it can be perceived as blackmail. Tell me that you are willing to listen from him the very bitter truth that it does not suit you and your relationship. Very calmly take care of what you have to hear, even if you do not completely agree with his arguments. If you have enough courage to admit that the husband is right in something, you will agree with him and promise to change what causes a categorical rejection in it.

Very delicately and honest, not insulting her husband and not humiliating his male and human dignity, express their claims. Make it as softer. Tell me that you would be nice if he thought about the next things: to come from work before, walking with children, etc. List all that you would like to see in updated family relationships.

Being the initiator of this conversation, you will be more prepared for him than a husband. Therefore, there must be more tact and restraint than it. Especially in the event that at some moments your spouse gives up emotions and starts to raise a voice or blame you. If you decide to truly change your life - start with yourself and learn to keep your own emotions under control, without answering the rudeness for the possible rudeness of the husband. Over time, he will definitely appreciate it.

If you managed to call a husband for an honest conversation, as a result of which it was decided to give your relationship another chance, remember that the most difficult thing is. You have to not only forgive each other for the pain that you have caused each other, but also learn to live anew, so that in the subsequent life there was no place for the reasons for the new quarrels and offense.

Consider all the mistakes of the past. Fill life with a new interesting content. Try to spend several times a week outside the house. Hiking in a cinema or theater, interesting exhibitions, rink, skiing, bike riding, family summer picnics, berries and mushroom hiking, interesting summer holidays and joint morning jogging - all this strengthens relationships and makes a variety.

If the marriage turned out to be a mistake
Not every attempt to establish relationships with her husband ends with success. Even if the decisive conversation was completed by the consent of both to preserve the family, the relationship to each other is not always possible to change in a positive side.

If you or your spouse cannot cope with constant criticism addressed to your second half, and your own shortcomings are completely ignored, the last chance of saving the family is to appeal to a family psychologist. You can consult a specialist in the event that the husband constantly expresses you contempt, if he has rooted the habit of compare you with familiar women and state that you lose them in everything.

If a visit to a psychologist is unacceptable for you or did not give results, the latter remains - divorce. Sometimes it is not the worst way out of the situation, especially if the husband is impassable and cruel. After all, life continues!