Little Red Riding Hood began to menstruate, she was frightened, blood flows, runs up to the wolf and asks:
- Listen wolf, what happened to me? The wolf looked closely, thought and said:
- Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I think your penis was torn off ...

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods, carrying a basket of pies to her grandmother, behind the clatter of feet. Looks - a crowd of lazybones, about ten people. Well, he thinks he's going to be raped. And in order not to suffer, she took off her panties, lay down and waits. He hears the clatter passed by, opens his eyes - there are no panties and baskets. Goes on. Towards again that same gang rushes ... Now they will definitely rape, Riding Hood thinks and lies down on the ground. The crowd rushed past. He opens his eyes and sees: an empty basket, and in it panties and a note: "Pies were taken to Grandma, panties were washed. Timur and his team."

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest at night, sings a cheerful song. Suddenly towards the Wolf, says:
- Do you hear, Shapka, are you actually not afraid to walk through the forest like this at night?
- What about me, I have no money, I love to fuck!

Once mother sent Little Red Riding Hood to her grandmother to take that pies. Wolf found out about it. Ambushed her in the forest. Before Little Red Riding Hood had time to gasp, he grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes. Little Red Riding Hood sees that there is nowhere to wait for help, there is nothing to do, she began to take off her panties. And the wolf will scream:
- What are you doing? Are you going to shit? Well, give me the basket.

The wolf met Little Red Riding Hood in the forest and raped her. Lies under a bush, rests and asks:
- Well, what will you answer your grandmother if she asks why she came so late?
- I will say that the Wolf raped me five times.
Don't compose, Little Red Riding Hood! There was only one time!
- Are you in a hurry?

Caught the Gray Wolf Little Red Riding Hood. I thought about what to do with her. Nothing better came up with - raped. Little Red Riding Hood is sitting, crying:
- I'll tell my grandmother that you raped me three times!
- How three, when only one?! Wolf was surprised.
Little Red Riding Hood's tears immediately dried up:
- A you that, more not will?

A wolf runs through the forest, all paws covered in blood, towards the lumberjacks. Wolf:
- Hey, did you see Little Red Riding Hood?
- With a basket and pies?
- No, with a knife and furry eggs ...

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest, and a tank is driving towards her. Seeing her, the tank asks:
- Little Red Riding Hood, tell me, why do you have a red riding hood?
Little Red Riding Hood turns and says over her shoulder:
- I'm not asking why you have a dick on your forehead!

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest, suddenly a wolf meets her. Little Red Riding Hood was frightened and asked:
- Wolf, why do you have such big ears?
- This is to hear you better, Riding Hood, - answered the wolf.
- Wolf, why do you have such eyes?
- This is to see you better, Riding Hood.
- Why do you have such a big nose?
“Because I am a Jew,” said the Wolf and wept bitterly.

They put on the play "Little Red Riding Hood". The main character suddenly fell ill. No one to play. They see a janitor in the foyer. Contacted him:
- Play, pliz, Little Red Riding Hood, only one action remains. You've read the story. The wolf will ask where you are going, you will say that you are going to your grandmother, bringing pies and a pot of butter. The janitor agreed. They dressed him up and put him on stage. He saw how many people were in the hall and was stunned. Suddenly the Wolf runs out, sees Little Red Riding Hood and growls:
- Aaah, Little Red Riding Hood, I'll eat you now.
- Ugh you, and I was going to my grandmother ...

Little Red Riding Hood and Grandmother are walking along a dark street, a crowd of peasants meet them, Little Red Riding Hood is frightened:
- Oh, grandmother, suddenly we will be raped
Grandma thinks to herself:
Finally getting raped...

"Something began to get colder," thought the gray wolf, and pulled the red cap up to his ears ...

Grandma, why do you have such big ears?
- To hear better, granddaughter.
- Grandma, why do you have such big eyes?
- To see better, granddaughter.
- Grandma, why do you have such a big tail?
“And it’s not a tail at all,” said the wolf and blushed deeply. - And in general, Little Red Riding Hood, you are not supposed to know this, your milk has not dried on your lips yet.
“And it’s not milk at all,” said Little Red Riding Hood, and she also blushed deeply.

Chapter I

Grandma, why do you have such big ears? - This is to hear you better, my child.

Charles Perrault

Everyone from childhood is familiar with the dialogue from old fairy tale. Why do we need ears anyway? More precisely, not ears, but auricles, which the curious Little Red Riding Hood meant in her question.

In some ways, the Wolf was close to the truth, answering, "to hear you better!". Indeed, thanks to the funnel shape, the auricles are able to capture and concentrate sound waves. Old people with hearing loss, listening to something, put their hand folded like a mouthpiece to their ear, as if increasing it. But this is far from the only function of the auricles.

Look at fish, amphibians, reptiles - where are the auricles? They are not here. Sound vibrations are transmitted directly to the inner ear system.

In the course of phylogenetic development, an increasingly highly organized sound-perceiving apparatus hides in the thickness temporal bone, the ear canal lengthens, and the auricle appears as a buffer against unforeseen damage. So, the auricle has a protective function.

There is also a cosmetic function of the outer ear. At all times and all peoples tried to decorate the auricle, realizing that it plays an important role in creating the appearance. Let us recall magnificent earrings and pendants from Scythian mounds. What about multi-colored clip-on earrings that modern fashionistas hunt for? Some African tribes have a strange concept of beauty for us: they pull their earlobes to an incredible size. But this is also a kind of tribute to fashion. If we look at what they do with their auricles notorious punks, then, perhaps, the mysterious customs of distant African tribes will become closer to us.

Girl, you have such big eyes that you can drown in them! And on the nose - hang yourself!

7 months ago

You have such eyes that you can drown in them ... And hang yourself on your nose!

The girl comes to the beauty salon:
- Want smooth skin And wow, those big eyes. What is the price?
- Fifteen thousand.
- Dollars for the operation?
- Rubles for a gas mask!

Girl, it's not hard for you big breasts wear?
- No, these are not big eggs!
- How do you know about eggs?
- Yes, you dance not very ...

She had such big eyes that there was practically no room for her brain.

Grandma-grandmother, why do you have such big eyes? What are you doing in the club anyway?

Do you have such beautiful eyes I'm ready to look at them forever.
- Okay, honey, I'm off to work.
- Leave your eyes.

What is the cutest girl in your group?
- Which?
- Blonde. She looks like Semyonovich. She has the same ... well, you understand ...
- Eyes?

driving instructor, the highest degree polite young man beautiful girl who takes driving lessons:
- Tell me, please, has anyone ever told you that you have big, almond-shaped, charming eyes?
- They said, - the girl replies coquettishly.
“So why the hell don’t you look with those big, almond-shaped, charming eyes at the traffic signs ?!

Grandmother, grandmother, why do you have such big eyes?
- To see better small font in contracts!

Grandmother, and grandmother, why do you have such big eyes?
- Oleg, get out of the toilet! The man is thirty years old, and he is still like a little boy!

The cosmetologist made a Greek profile for the patient, smoothed wrinkles, removed a double chin, and reduced her mouth.
- What else would you like?
- Can I make big expressive eyes?
- Certainly! Take a look at the score!

I was almost sober yesterday!
- Yes?! And who poured a bottle of vodka into the aquarium with the words: "Oh, they have such sad eyes ..."

On the dance floor:
- Girl, you can be?
- Yes, but let's dance first.

At the bus stop is a girl in very tight jeans. A guy walks by and, unable to resist, says: "And how can you get into such tight jeans !?". Girl: "First to the restaurant .."

Your eyes remind me of Peter.
- Are they as beautiful?
- The bags under them are the same gray.

A chicken sits on the market and sells eggs for 1 ruble.
Nearby, a chicken sells large eggs for 1.10 rubles. and says first:
- I would carry such large eggs as I would, I would also sell for 1.10 rubles!
- I'll tear my ass because of 10 kopecks!

A man comes to a psychiatrist:
- Doctor, I'm so sad, so depressed that I want to hang myself!
- Well, hang yourself if it cheers you up...

The goal is so big, but he hit the post!

I love those round eyes of girls when I tell them how much I earn.
Yes girls. Nothing is impossible. All in your hands. You can survive on such pennies.

Girl, can I take you?
- Can. Only you have to walk on tiptoe, otherwise my mother is a very light sleeper.

How do you get such cool photos?
- And what's so difficult? I photographed 700 pieces, then chose 10 of them, processed 5 and uploaded one to the network ...

“Ah - a, in Africa the rivers are this wide ...”

Lyrics of the song "Little Red Riding Hood"

Film of the same name.

For a long time, people have been concerned about issues related to raising children and relationships with elderly parents. First of all, it is:

The need for constant communication with the child, an explanation of the main
rules and concepts, answers to emerging questions;
- choice of place of residence together with parents or separately from them;
- care for parents and concern for their health.

There are no general recipes for solving these issues; each person acts in accordance with his upbringing, based on his own views and life experience.

Similar questions are raised in Charles Perrault's fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood. Remote, lonely living and grandmother's poor health, it became a necessity to visit the old woman and bring her hot cakes. Mom "Little Red Riding Hood", sent her daughter, a girl preschool age to visit a sick grandmother. Everything would be fine, the road to the old woman's house passed through the forest, in which the gray wolf, who was known as an unprincipled villain, rampaged. The smell of pies, the cheerful song of the girl attracted the attention of the predator and provoked subsequent events that led to the wolf swallowing the grandmother and Little Red Riding Hood. Phrases from the dialogue of "Little Red Riding Hood" and the wolf at the end of the tale became "winged", quoted by many generations:

“Grandma, why do you have such big ears?” asked Little Red Riding Hood.
“To hear you better,” the wolf replied and leaned closer to the girl.
“Why, such big eyes,” the girl did not let up.
“To see you better,” the villain said, looked at the victim greedily and smacked his tongue with pleasure.
“Grandma, why do you have such big teeth”, - for the third time, Little Red Riding Hood inquired and snapped her finger on a huge wolf tusk.
“To eat you,” growled the wolf, opened its mouth and swallowed the girl.

First of all, in the fairy tale, I was struck by the irresponsible attitude of the mother of the Little Red Riding Hood, who sent one little girl to visit her grandmother. Also, there are problems of education, communication and explanation to the girl "What is good and what is bad." Naturally, the girl's curiosity, her gullibility, lack of life experience and ignorance of the predators of the local forest could lead to tragic events that did not happen due to the timely appearance of hunters. The magical rescue by the hunters of the characters swallowed by the wolf made the end of the tale happy.

Reportage. "Another villainy of the gray wolf."

From reliable sources, it became known about the attempt of another villainy by a dangerous recidivist - a gray wolf. The villain entered the home of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother, holds hostages and refuses to negotiate.
Our correspondent arrived at the scene of the event, who reports from the crime scene.

Before my eyes, another crime occurred, committed by a known for its cunning, recidivist - a gray wolf. He swallowed the grandmother of Little Red Riding Hood.
At the moment, the villain pretended to be a grandmother, in a bonnet and an old woman's nightgown, lying under the covers, and in a thin voice, talking to Little Red Riding Hood. The poor girl does not suspect deceit.
I am under the bed, looking in the wardrobe mirror, clearly see and hear everything that happens above me.
The wolf mocks the girl, plays like a "cat and mouse" with his victim, receives and stretches out the pleasure of this game, he is sure of his impunity.
The girl moved closer to the wolf, pretending to be a grandmother, and asks why she has such big ears, he answers in order to hear her better. The tension is rising.

I see how the girl lifts her glasses on the face of the wolf and asks: "Grandma, why do you have such big eyes." In doing so, she touches the eyes of the wolf.
"To see you better." The girl likes her grandmother's answers, she smiles.

"Little Red Riding Hood" clicks with a small finger on a huge fang in the mouth of a predator and asks:
"Grandma, why do you have such big teeth"
“Ah, to eat you,” the wolf growls and swallows the “Little Red Riding Hood”.

The wolf licks his lips, he is pleased. The door swings open and hunters burst into the house with guns. They immobilize the villain and deftly, with a sharp hunting knife, rip open his stomach, from which crawl out alive and unharmed, grandmother, and Little Red Riding Hood.

The operation to neutralize a particularly dangerous criminal - the gray wolf is completed, the grandmother and the "Little Red Riding Hood" are free!

Feuilleton. "Don't feed the wolf..."

Again, in the criminal chronicle, the name of a particularly dangerous recidivist appears - a gray wolf. The inhabitants of our region are tired of the crimes committed by this predator, the public is indignant and demands severe punishment for the troublemaker:
“How long can this villain be tolerated, why the authorities cannot protect the inhabitants of the region from the lawlessness perpetrated by the scoundrel.”

The wave of indignation is caused by the fact that last week, another crime was committed by him. The wolf deceived Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother, entered her house and, during dinner, swallowed the old woman. Then, he pretended to be a grandmother, let the Little Red Riding Hood in and had dinner as a girl.

“If it weren’t for the hunters, we would have lost the well-deserved pensioner of our region and her granddaughter, Little Red Riding Hood, who will glorify us by the fact that Charles Perrault will write a fairy tale of the same name about her.”

“Look at this villain, he doesn’t have enough state food rations, he lives on everything ready, as much as you can eat!”
“No matter how much you feed him, he still behaves outrageously. Why did he swallow his grandmother and Little Red Riding Hood, some residents asked.

“Everything eats and eats, does not get better and does not choke. Not in the horse's food, look how thin he is, ”others said.

“Let's eat him himself,” suggested the third.
And, most likely, they would have eaten! And they did the right thing, as a warning to all the other gluttonous villains!

Portrait essay. "I, the evil and terrible gray wolf."

Again, the gray wolf became the "hero" of the crime news. Now, he encroached on the most sacred - on human life. The villain, fraudulently, entered the house of the grandmother of the Little Red Riding Hood, swallowed the old woman, and then her granddaughter.

I'm trying to create a psychological portrait of the villain and understand what pushes the wolf to another crime.
I remember one of the meetings with the gray villain in his lair, the unremarkable dwelling of a lone wolf. When I asked why he did not have a family, the wolf replied that he could not endanger his loved ones. He does not want his beloved - a she-wolf and little wolf cubs to become the object of persecution and persecution, does not want them to have the same fate and life as his. Then, I found his explanations reasonable.
I asked him a question, what pushes him to commit a crime. The wolf looked at me intently and replied that I was asking strange questions.
“Of course, it’s survival instinct and hunger. I, a wolf, a hunter, a predator eating fresh meat, where have you seen a vegetarian wolf? And, again, I agreed with his answer.
The next question, I wanted to disarm the villain and put him in an uncomfortable position, I asked: “Well, it’s clear with animals, in order to survive you have to eat them, but how did your grandmother and Little Red Riding Hood get on the list of your victims?”
The wolf answered without hesitation: “Ah, you think that goats and pigs are less worthy of life than people. We are all created in the image and likeness of God, and equally, we have the right to life,” he concluded and gestured that the conversation was over.

The note. "The arrest of the gray villain."
Another crime and the arrest of a particularly dangerous recidivist - a gray wolf.

The valiant hunters neutralized and arrested the insidious villain, the recidivist - the wolf, who entered the dwelling of the grandmother of the Little Red Riding Hood, and then swallowed the old woman and her granddaughter. The timely appearance of the hunters made it possible to avoid the tragedy of the Little Red Riding Hood family. Grandmother and granddaughter thank their saviors, and the villain will be severely punished.

Today, in the Swiss forest, the gray wolf committed his next crime. Fraudulently, he entered the home of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother and swallowed the old woman. Then he put on his grandmother's nightgown, bonnet and glasses, got into her bed and pretended to be an old woman. In this form, he met "Little Red Riding Hood", who came to visit her grandmother and brought her pies. The granddaughter did not notice the change, looked at the old woman and asked her questions. The girl was interested in the big ears, eyes and teeth of her grandmother. The question about the teeth angered the wolf, recently they were sick and bothered the voracious predator, he opened his mouth and swallowed the curious girl. In time, the hunters came to the rescue neutralized the criminal, ripped open his belly with a sharp knife and released the grandmother and granddaughter swallowed by the villain - "Little Red Riding Hood".
The villain is arrested, he will be judged and severely punished.

Column (editor).

The readers of our newspaper are concerned about the ugly behavior of the gray wolf. Especially, the recent attack of the villain on Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother is outrageous, which, by a happy coincidence, did not end sadly.
Our newspaper cannot remain aloof from what happened, we are indignant at the tricks of the gluttonous villain and send an official request to the State Duma and the prosecutor's office, we will demand that the villain be severely punished and the inhabitants of the Swiss forest protected from his attacks. For our part, we undertake to monitor and cover in detail the progress of the investigation of this crime.

Newspaper editor-in-chief